These Hard-To-Believe Historical Facts Are Funny But Real
History is filled with all kinds of errors and gaffes that, in retrospect, seem absolutely ridiculous and laughable. For better or for worse, though, these errors and gaffes really did happen and, as the old saying goes, we learn from history in order not to repeat history, right?
Humans of the internet have gotten together to recount some of the most unimaginably true tales, and some of these are truly priceless. Here are some funny instances throughout history that would almost assuredly bring a smile to anyone’s face…
The “Great Emu Wars”
Once in Australia, local farmers complained about an excess of emus that were ruining their crops. Three men armed with Lewis machine guns were sent to try to control the emu population. Unfortunately for them, the emus were much more difficult to control than they had ever anticipated.
“If we had a military division with the bullet-carrying capacity of these birds, it would face any army in the world. They can face machine guns with the invulnerability of tanks. They are like Zulus whom even dum-dum bullets could not stop.” Reddit user: Wastelander108
The “Capture” Of Guam By The US
When war was declared between the US and Spain, a US ship was sent to Guam to capture the island from Spain. When the US ship arrived, there were no Spanish warships in sight. After a little while, a rowboat rowed out to the US ship with the captain of the port aboard. When the US sailors explained to the captain that they were capturing Guam and that he was a prisoner, the man was shocked—no one had told him that there was a war.
The island was captured without any resistance. Reddit user: Skookum_J
The Khevsurs
In 1915, after Russia had declared war on Turkey as part of World War 1, a group of Crusaders appeared. Not just any Crusaders, but OG Crusaders. Known as the Khevsurs, they were decked out in 12th-century armor with weapons to match as they made their grand entrance on horseback.
Upon arriving, the Khevsurs asked, “Where’s the war?” Reddit user: Kobbett
The Battle Of Alesia
Julius Caesar, considered one of the most iconic military minds of all time, had some funny workarounds. At the battle of Alesia, Caesar decided to build a wall around his opponents to fence them in. But then his enemies had reinforcements coming up behind Caesar.
So, naturally, Caesar built another wall, this time to keep the enemy out so that he would be unbothered as he attacked the enemies inside of his other wall. Reddit user: michaelthecoder
The Hawaiian Flag
The astute observer may have noticed that the Hawaiian flag has the Union Jack embedded in it despite never being claimed by the British Empire and already being a state of the United States.
The reason why is genius: fearful of the trade wars going on at the time, Hawaii decided to include the Union Jack in its flag so that it would not be attacked by the British navy. Reddit user: Kobbett
The Japan-Korea War Of 1592
When Japan invaded Korea in 1592, one general was promised an elite group of soldiers who would be the top of their graduating class. Instead of people who passed the military exam, though, the general got a group of top students from the Confucian Civil Service exams.
Needless to say, the general dismissed the students and found himself in a pickle. Reddit user: 1Fower
Jack Churchill
If anyone knows the name of a specific soldier from World War 2, it’s probably Jack Churchill. Churchill carried bagpipes and a broadsword instead of a gun and is credited with killing an enemy with a longbow. And apparently the broadsword wasn’t just for show—he actually used it in hand-to-hand combat.
Additionally, Churchill once escaped a concentration camp and reportedly wished that the war could have gone on for another 10 years. Reddit user: ScalierLemon1
The USS O’Bannon
Many improbable things happened during World War 2, including the USS O’Bannon sinking a submarine with potatoes. As the story goes, the USS O’Bannon began an engagement with a submarine, but when the submarine came too close for the destroyer to use its guns, the crew decided that, apparently, the next logical step was to hurl potatoes at the enemy submarine.
The submarine thought that the potatoes were grenades and tried to submerge, only to sink because not all the hatches had been secured in the enemy’s haste. Reddit user: SolidSnakeDraft
The Liechtenstein Army
During the third Italian War of Independence, the army of Liechtenstein, a very small nation next to Switzerland, sent an army of 80 men to get involved. But on the way, the army made a friend who decided to join their ranks.
So when the army returned to Liechtenstein, they had 81 men instead of 80. The paperwork must have been a nightmare. Reddit user: blazkinie
The Third Punic War
European history is riddled with long wars like the Hundred Years’ War and the Thirty Years’ War. But in 149 BC, Rome and Carthage declared war on each other for the third time and thus began the Third Punic War.
But the war never officially ended until 1985 when someone finally remembered. In 1985, the mayors of Carthage and Rome officially signed a treaty that ended the 2000+ year war. Reddit user: jimmypagesguitar
The 2007 Invasion Of Lichtenstein By Switzerland
Borders and territories can get confusing in the mountains, especially when there’s lots of snow. One Swiss border patrol made their way through a storm in the Alps only to find themselves several miles into Lichtenstein. Panicked, the patrol quickly retreated.
When the Lichtenstein government found out about the mini-invasion, they said, “These things happen” and shrugged it off. Reddit user: TeebsTibo
The First Speeding Ticket In Sweden
Speeding tickets usually get handed out when people exceed the speed limit on the freeway—say, 100 mph in a 70 mph zone. But Sweden apparently has much more modest speed limits; certainly nothing like US freeways.
The laws are so modest in fact, that the first speeding ticket issued in Sweden was handed to the driver by an officer who caught up to the vehicle by running on foot. Reddit user: Ludvigideborn
Khosrau’s Better Antioch
Antioch was an ancient Roman city in what is now Turkey. The Persian emperor Khosrau captured the city from Justinian, who was the Roman emperor at the time. But Khosrau ordered that all the captured occupants of the city be removed, and then he burned the city to the ground. Why?
Because Khosrau then ordered that a new city be built, exactly replicating the city he had just burned down. And to top it off, Khosrau literally named the new city “Khosrau’s Better Antioch.” Reddit user: MigBird
The Battle Of Karansebes
In 1788, the Austrian army was at war with the Turkish army. Long story short, basically some soldiers in the Austrian army got drunk and started a brawl. During this brawl, someone fired a shot, and people thought that the Turkish army was attacking. One contingent of soldiers fled while other soldiers assembled some troops, with cavalry and all, and charged at the supposed enemy.
Needless to say, when the actual Turkish army came to Karansebes several days later, they found nearly 10,000 dead and wounded Austrian soldiers and took the city of Karansebes without any trouble. Reddit user: firuz0
The Heidi Game
In 1968, a high-stakes football match was taking place between the Jets and the Raiders. But the movie “Heidi” was scheduled to be aired on NBC at 7pm EST, shortly before the end of the game. NBC had people calling in, insisting that the “Heidi” showing be delayed for the last minutes of the football game, while others were eager to see the new “Heidi.” The phone lines were so overwhelmed that NBC couldn’t contact anyone to delay the movie, and so the channel cut from the football match to “Heidi.”
And in that last minute, the Raiders scored twice and won the game. NBC added a crawler to the movie showing to inform its viewers that the Raiders had won. Reddit user: Rossum81
The Anglo-Zanzibar War
Most wars don’t last as long as the Third Punic War, but they can still take a while. Not so for the Anglo-Zanzibar war in 1896. The United Kingdom entered into a brief military conflict with the Zanzibar Sultanate, and the conflict barely lasted 45 minutes.
Basically, some British ships and troops opened fire on the Zanzibar palace, and gunshots ceased in less than 40 minutes. Reddit user: shiningnipples
The Norwegian Butter Crisis
Since 2011, Norway has been strapped for butter. Basically, heavy summer rains affected the dairy industry, causing a shortage of over 5 million gallons’ worth of milk. Norwegians are inordinately fond of butter, especially during the winter months. The milk (and therefore butter) shortage combined with high import tariffs and butter-hungry Norwegians resulted in butter prices skyrocketing to about $50 for a single 250g package of butter.
This butter crisis has spawned a number of outrageous butter-related schemes, from butter smuggling to offering butter as a prize and selling butter locally on the internet. Reddit user: Gnarfledarf
The Siege Of Weinsberg
When the city of Weinsberg was under siege, the invading king issued terms of surrender that allowed the women of the besieged city to leave with whatever they could carry. In response, the women of the city ended up carrying their husbands on their shoulders, piggy-back style, and walked out.
Apparently, the invading king was so impressed by the resourcefulness of the women that he let them go, husbands and all. Reddit user: EC10-32
The Toledo War
In the 19th century, Ohio and Michigan had a dispute over which state got a strip of land between Indiana and Lake Erie only a few miles wide. Both states mustered their local militias, but after marching around for a little while, neither side could find the other and never ended up engaging.
In the end, Congress awarded Ohio the strip of land but, as recompense, gave Michigan the entire Upper Peninsula. Reddit user: addy-Bee
The Kettle War
In 1784, the Holy Roman Empire decided to threaten the Dutch Republic with a few warships. When the warships were sighted, the Dutch sent out one ship that fired a single shot, destroying a kettle on board one of the enemy ships. Strangely enough, the fleet from the Holy Roman Empire promptly surrendered to the Dutch after their kettle was destroyed.
The cherry on top was that the Holy Roman Empire declared war on the Dutch after their fleet surrendered, but the only thing that it amounted to was some troops being sent to capture a Dutch fort that ended up just being a vegetable garden. Reddit user: nybbleth
Fort Blunder
After the War of 1812 with the British, the Americans decided to build a fort on the shore of Lake Champlain as a future safeguard. Unfortunately, the surveying work was subpar and, when construction began, the Americans discovered that they were actually building the fort in Canada, not America.
The project was abandoned and named Fort Blunder. Later, another fort was built, and this time on the correct side of the border. Reddit user: crockfs
The Defenestrations Of Prague
Leading up to the Thirty Years’ War, political and religious tensions were high between the Catholics and the Protestants throughout Europe. One day, things became so heated in Prague that a mob of Protestants drove two Catholic agents upstairs and out a window (defenestration refers to the act of throwing someone out a window).
For better or for worse, the two Catholics survived the 70-foot drop out of a window only because they landed in a heap of animal dung. This event is what allegedly triggered the war. Reddit user: lalaloolee
Wojtek The Bear
Service dogs and horses aren’t too unusual for the armed forces, but it’s not every day that an army includes a brown bear. The Polish army once had a brown bear in its ranks named Wojtek. And Wojtek wasn’t just any regular army bear; he achieved the rank of corporal and actually fought in the Battle of Monte Cassino in Italy during World War 2.
Wojtek served in the Polish artillery, helping haul munitions for the Polish forces. After the war, Wojtek lived out the rest of his life as a celebrity at the Edinburgh Zoo. Reddit user: juliamaan
The Tulip Bulb Bubble
In the 17th century, tulips were all the rage throughout Europe, and the economic bubble grew to gargantuan proportions for the Dutch, who were the main tulip bulb sellers. As in, tulip bulbs could change hands more than 10 times in a day through a series of transactions, and the price increased by 2,000% over a year’s time.
But in 1637, the bubble burst, as tulip bulb prices plummeted and economic chaos ensued. Reddit user: antiquarian_bookworm
Julie D’Aubigny
Joan of Arc was pretty cool, but you probably haven’t heard of Julie d’Aubigny. Julie was a bisexual cross-dresser who also happened to be a fencing master and an opera singer. Julie once broke another girl that she was in love with out of a nunnery, incurring the girl’s family’s wrath, and was burned at the stake in absentia. Another time, Julie kissed a girl at a ball, greatly offending three gentlemen who were all vying for the girl’s hand in marriage.
They all challenged Julie to a duel but were soundly beaten. Julie later went on to have an illustrious career as an opera singer in France. Reddit user: Snifhvide
How Potatoes Became Popular
Believe it or not, potatoes haven’t always been as popular as they are now. Once upon a time, a French king brought potatoes back to his country after travelling and tried to introduce them to his citizens, but his citizens were suspicious and refused to try out the new vegetable. In a brilliant stroke of reverse psychology, the king planted his own field of potatoes and ordered soldiers to “guard” the potatoes but not to stop anyone who tried to steal them.
His plan worked and, thinking that the potatoes must be valuable because of the royal guards, citizens began stealing the vegetables, and the potato became popular. Reddit user: Terminatorskull
The Trial After The OK Corral
After the infamous shootout at the OK Corral between the Earp brothers and Doc Holliday, a trial was held. However, because of the prominence of the two parties, none of the witnesses of the shootout could be trusted, except one: a random telegraph operator. The way the story goes, the telegraph operator had just come into town when he walked onto the scene of the shootout.
Because he was new to town and didn’t know a soul, he was the only witness that the judge trusted and gave the key testimony during the trial. Reddit user: einarfridgeirs
The Monkey Of Hartepool, England
According to local legend, a French ship once went down off of the coast of England near the city of Hartepool. Local fisherman, upon investing the wreck, found a lone monkey that had survived. The citizens of Hartepool arrested the monkey on charges of being an enemy sailor and soldier.
The monkey was tried, convicted, and hanged. Hartepoolers are still reportedly named “Monkey hangers,” and the mascot of the local football club is known as H’Angus the Monkey. Reddit user: kungfupunker
Cobra Bounties In India
When the British Empire had taken over India, they encountered a problem: cobras. In an attempt to curb the cobra population, the British empire issued a bounty for every cobra killed. The problem was, locals quickly discovered that the bounty offered for killing a cobra was much more than the price of breeding a cobra. Naturally, they took advantage of this and began breeding cobras, only to kill them and claim the bounty.
The government finally caught on and abolished the cobra reward, meaning that the cobra breeders simply let them go and exacerbated the original cobra problem even further. Reddit user: anonymous
Tycho Brahe
Another larger than life figure, Tycho Brahe was a 16th-century hooligan. Once, in a duel, Tycho’s nose was cut off, and he took to wearing a golden prosthetic. Tycho also had a pet elk, which ended up dying after drinking too much beer. Another time, Tycho got in trouble with the Danish monarchy when he knocked up the queen of Denmark.
Finally, after years of gallivanting around, Tycho was poisoned by the Danish king. Reddit user: -eltopo
The War Of The Bucket
In 1325, there was a rivalry between the two Italian city-states of Bologna and Modena. As a hostile prank, one group of Modena soldiers stole a bucket from a well in the city of Bologna, triggering a war between the two city-states. Even though Bologna had three times more men than Modena, Bologna lost.
As the story goes, the stolen bucket of Bologna remains in the city of Modena to this day. Reddit user: laikamonkey
The Battle Of Castle Itter
At the Battle of Castle Itter, there were 100 German soldiers up against 14 American soldiers, 10 German soldiers, some French prisoners—including the former prime minister and a famous tennis player—an Austrian, and a tank. Unbelievably, the 100 German soldiers managed to lose and were essentially all captured.
The tennis player was even hailed as a hero, managing to get past enemy lines to get reinforcements that came to rescue the beleaguered castle occupants in the nick of time. Reddit user: TangoJager
The Time A US Destroyer Accidentally Fired A Torpedo At FDR
On his way to the Tehran Conferences after World War 2, Franklin D. Roosevelt nearly died after his ship, the USS Iowa, was accidentally shot at with a torpedo by its fellow ship, the USS Porter. The crew of the USS Porter tried to signal to the USS Iowa but accidentally sent the wrong message at first. Eventually the USS Iowa realized what was happening and began an evasive maneuver.
Fortunately, the torpedo narrowly missed the USS Iowa and detonated in the ship’s wake. Reddit user: Discovilante
The Premiere Of “Rite Of Spring”
Now a famed ballet, Igor Stravinsky’s “Rite of Spring” had a less-than-illustrious start. At its premiere, the audience became incensed with the strange music and dancing that, at the time, was considered poor form. People reportedly began throwing punches at each other and, by the end of the ballet’s premiere, had started a full-on riot that required police to break it up.
Apparently, Stravinsky himself had to leave before the premiere of his ballet had finished. Reddit user: lordofthememe
The Death Of Aeschylus
The ancient Greek dramatist Aeschylus received a prophesy that he would meet his end by means of a falling object. In efforts to avoid this fate, Aeschylus took to spending the majority of his time outside, trying to avoid having things dropped on him inside.
Unfortunately for him, he supposedly met his death by having a turtle dropped on his head by an eagle that was flying overhead. Reddit user: TheOtherHobbes
The Munster Rebellion
In 1534, the Germans planned to attack a city as the sun rose. However, some soldiers became so drunk that they thought the setting sun was the rising sun and decided to attack. Confused, the rest of the Germans thought the plan had changed and also decided to attack.
The attack, filled with drunk and confused Germans at night, was a disaster, and the Germans suffered heavy losses. Reddit user: anonymous
Sullivan’s Island
During the American Revolution, British forces attacked the American-held fort on Sullivan’s Island. Unknown to them, the fort was made of palmetto tree wood, a relatively flexible kind of wood. When the British forces opened fire on the Americans with their cannons, they found to their surprise that their cannon balls could not breach the walls.
The palmetto tree wood absorbed the majority of the impact of the cannon balls and, supposedly, even bounced the cannon balls back at the British on occasion. The fort was never taken. Reddit user: LeopoldArkham
The Berbers Street Hoax
Once, a man made a bet with his friends that he could turn any house in London into the most popular place in the city. When his friends took him up on the bet, the man managed to get thousands of people to come to a single house, from chimney sweeps to even the city’s governor.
Reportedly, the man who had made the bet sat on the street across from the house and drank some beers while he watched thousands of bewildered people. Reddit user: insetflea
The Death Of Emperor Valentinian
The Roman Emperor Valentinian was trying to negotiate terms with a barbarian tribe, the Quadi. The tribe accused the Romans of being too invasive and threatened guerrilla warfare if the Romans didn’t stop building forts on their land.
Valentinian became so enraged upon hearing the demands of the Quadi that a blood vessel burst in his brain while he was ranting, and his death followed shortly. Reddit user: chr20b
The Time The Germans Sued Harry Houdini
After angering the Germans, Harry Houdini was charged by the Germans for his claim that he could open a locked safe. The presiding judge decided that the best way to settle the dispute was to see if Houdini could, in fact, open a locked safe. Consequently, Houdini was locked in a room with a safe and given 10 minutes to open it.
While Houdini had never actually opened a locked safe before—the one he used on stage was rigged—he discovered, to his amazement, that the safe he was supposed to crack was unlocked. Of course, Houdini didn’t tell anyone and won his case. Reddit user: Toby_Macguire