These Are The Most Common Reasons People Lie To Their Partners

We shouldn’t really be lying to our partners, especially about important things. You need to have an open and honest relationship with your mate, or you need to be working towards that, at least. Sometimes however, there are instances where it feels easier to tell a little white lie than to speak the truth.

Take a haircut, for example. If your partner went from having long hair to a bob cut and they love it, this might be a moment where it’s better to tell a little white lie. This is just one example of the many times where complete honesty might not serve you or your partner. The following are the most common reasons that people lie to their significant others- some of which will undoubtedly surprise you…

When they’ve gained some weight

If your partner is self-conscious about their weight, it might be best to leave this subject alone, period. If they’re making unhealthy choices, try encouraging them to make healthier choices with more vegetables and whole foods. They will feel better about their bodies when they are getting the right fuel.

One great way to suggest a change in weight is to do something healthy together, like cook great food or get into an exercise routine.

When they ask if the zit on their face is really that bad

If they are asking about the zit on their face in the first place, it’s probably unsightly and painful. When you experience bad acne, sometimes it is all you can think about. Let your mate know that acne does not define their beauty or lack thereof, even if they feel that way.

In fact, those pimples are hardly noticeable, and it will make them not think about it as much. That will also help them leave the pimples alone, and they’ll go away sooner.

When they ask about their new profile picture

If they just posted a picture that’s not very flattering as their new profile picture, give it a like or love. They’re beautiful no matter what, so show them that you love all of their photos. Encourage them to take more pictures and post them freely. Loving yourself is one of the most important things.

Plus, who knows? Maybe they’ll discover a hidden talent for photography after taking all those photos? At the very worst, you still have a bunch of pictures of the person you care about.

When they ask about their outfit

We have all heard someone ask us, “Does this outfit make me look fat?” Sometimes it’s best to tell a while lie about this. If your partner has previously said that they love the outfit and it makes them feel great, let them continue to feel great. Confidence is one of the most attractive features.

That being said, do point out any serious gaffes, like being able to see their underwear through their outfit or if it has a hole or awkward gap. They’ll appreciate it.

When they ask what kind of parent you think they will be

Remember that with time, everyone grows and learns from their mistakes. Even if you don’t think they would be the optimal parent right now, they can grow into a loving and nurturing parent with time. There are also lots of classes and tips from other parents that they can receive.

After all, it’s impossible to know how they’ll respond before they become a parent. Give them a chance and offer the benefit of the doubt.

When they’re venting about their parents

It’s best to be supportive, even if your partner is venting about their parents and they are out of line. People can be upset and say stuff that they don’t actually mean, and sometimes venting about the situation will make them have a clear head afterward. Be attentive and listen to their concerns.

This is also a great time to offer support or a solution to their problems, but if they’re not having it, just being a quiet listener works too.

When you hear a hurtful rumor about your partner

If you hear a rumor about your partner that you know is not valid or most likely not right, it can be best just to say you didn’t listen to it. If you know it’s not true anyways, then maybe it won’t even matter. You could confront the person spreading the rumors and ask them to stop.

Even if the rumor is malicious and you feel the need to stop it, you don’t necessarily need to share it with your partner. You can take care of it yourself.

When your partner has a big performance and it goes wrong

If your partner worked really hard on a project or presentation and it completely fails, make sure you are supportive regardless of the outcome. Let them know it wasn’t that bad if they ask or that you loved it. You want them to continue with their passions, and practice makes perfect.

No one can do a perfect job every time or even most of the time. Mistakes happen, but it’s probably true that you loved watching their attempt anyway.

When your partner is venting about something someone else did that’s actually not that bad

Similar to if your partner is venting about something that their parents did, if they are venting about something a friend/coworker/stranger did and it wasn’t that bad, sometimes it’s best just to let them get it off their chest. Talking about situations that happened is healthy, and with talking about it, maybe they will see that it wasn’t so bad after all.

Just be supportive and let them blow off some steam about the whole thing. It will soon just be a frustrating memory for them and you can move on.

When you don’t feel like getting together tonight

We all need time to ourselves sometimes. If your partner wants to go out and you don’t feel like it, it is okay to tell a white lie to get out of going out. If you aren’t feeling good, it’s not exactly ideal to be out at a party, right?

If you can, though, you should at least offer to reschedule or make it up to them. After all, they were planning on seeing you!

When they ask how they were last night

Maybe if your partner had one too many drinks last night and they embarrassed themselves a little bit (or a lot), it can be best to leave that detail out. If they made a complete fool of themselves and they need to have a serious discussion about their actions, that’s different.

However, if it was just a bit overdone and no one else will even remember it most likely, just let it slide. They surely won’t remember.

When they ask you your opinion of their family

No one wants to hear that their partner dislikes any of their family members. Remember that they will be your family one day too, and you will have to have family get-togethers and the like! Try to put any differences aside for your partner’s sake and the sake of their family.

Let them know that you may have differences, but their family is your family. If they come from an abusive household, that needs to be a separate discussion.

When they ask if the food tastes good

If your partner specifically made a special dinner for you and spent a lot of time in the kitchen preparing it and it turns out less appetizing than what you expected, let them know you still like it. If the food is horrible, then maybe let them know where they can improve.

It’s pretty simple to offer suggestions like “You know what would be really great with this? Something a little saltier!” or “I wonder if X would work even better than Y in this recipe?”

When they ask if they are good enough to do something

If your partner is looking for some motivation and inspiration, don’t discourage them. Build them up and let them know that they can do anything they put their mind to. If you know that they may not get the results they want, that’s okay. We learn and grow from our experiences in life, and sometimes we need to put ourselves out there.

There is no way to know if you’ll succeed until you try, so encourage your partner to give it a go, no matter the results. Have some faith.

When they wonder if they look old

“Are the wrinkles on my face becoming more noticeable?” That is more likely the real question that they are asking. Let your significant other know that they’re beautiful, no matter how their body is changing over the years. If they’re beginning to look more their age, that’s a natural part of life.

You can even follow this up with a compliment. Maybe their gray hair suits them or they’ve developed cute laugh lines from all the good memories over the years.

When they ask if they should forgive someone

If your companion is looking for clarification on whether or not they can forgive and forget, let them know that they certainly can. This action is healthy and will allow them to grow as a person. Even if it’s a situation where you wouldn’t forgive and forget, let them make that decision themselves.

This might come up in situations where one partner is dealing with an ex or even a family member. Be supportive of the ability to forgive and let them decide.

When they ask how you’re doing

It’s alright if you don’t feel like talking about how you are doing at that moment. You can say “fine” even if you aren’t okay. Remember that your partner was asking how you were to check up on you because they care, so when you are ready, they are there for you.

It’s always good to talk things through, but sometimes now just isn’t the right time to do so, and that’s entirely fine.

When receiving an unusual gift

If your partner gets you a gift that is a bit “off,” it would be rude to say that you hate it. It’s okay to tell them a little lie that you like it and you can use it for whatever use is reasonable. Remember to thank them either way.

After all, they put thought and effort into getting it for you. If you think hard enough, maybe you really can find a use for it.

When a fight needs to end

If you and your significant other got in a fight and you need space or need it to end, it’s fine to tell a white lie and let them know that you are done talking about that situation. Don’t leave it out there for too long, but take the time you need.

Later, bring it back up gently with something like, “I know I said I was done talking, but I needed some space. I want to let you know how I feel about it still.”

When your weekend plans change

Your partner planned an excellent weekend getaway, and you’ve been excited all week. Then the day comes, and you’re just really not feeling it. It’s okay to tell a white lie and say that you’re still excited about it. Who knows, once you get out there and are having a good time, maybe your outlook will change.

After all, studies have shown that “fake it till you make it” is a real thing; if you give it some time, you’ll probably start having fun again.

When they ask about your weight

Weight is just a number on a scale. If you’re not comfortable telling your weight to your partner, then don’t do it. You can keep that number to yourself. You can tell a white lie about your weight, or you can skip the white lie and tell them you’re not comfortable telling them.

The more important factor when it comes to health is your waist size anyway, so take the number on the scale with a grain of salt.

When they ask how much you spent

If you want to spend a certain amount of money on yourself or a gift for your partner, you don’t need to disclose that if it’s your money and you earned it. If your partner is concerned about your spending habits, or if you’re spending money in a joint account, that could be a different story.

In the end, a relationship should have established rules about money usage, so stick to those when in doubt and avoid the white lie entirely.

When they ask exactly where you were

It’s okay to tell a white lie about exactly where you were. You shouldn’t need to lie about where you were and who you were with, but your partner should also trust you enough not to need every detail. It’s okay to go out with friends and have a night on the town.

There’s a difference between asking where you were (“out with friends for dinner”) and needing to know exactly which restaurant at what time.

When you don’t understand how they feel

It’s okay to tell a white lie when you don’t totally get how they are feeling. If you’re supportive and empathetic, then that’s still showing your mate that you really care. You could even look into details of the situation afterward to try to understand more about how they are feeling.

In the end, it comes down to being a shoulder to cry on or being there just to listen if they need it. You can help troubleshoot, even if you don’t get where they’re coming from.

When they ask about your salary

Unless your finances are combined in a bank account, you don’t need to disclose how much you are making with your partner. If you are planning to be together long term, then just know that your finances will likely be combined in the future, or you’ll at least make plans with knowledge of each other’s finances.

Not all couples combine their money; it depends on a number of factors, like whether one partner is self-employed. Your mileage may vary.

When they ask about your past relationships

It’s okay to tell white lies about your past relationships if your partner asks about them. What’s in the past is in the past, and if you know that specific details about a previous relationship could hurt your partner’s feelings, it’s okay to skip that portion or even not tell the story at all.

In general, bringing up exes and past relationships is frowned upon, even if you’re trying to compare your current partner to an ex in a positive way.

When they ask about your career ambitions

If you’re unsure about where you want to go with your career, you can tell your partner precisely that: you are undecided. If you need to tell a white lie about this detail, that’s okay; just know that your partner is asking because they most likely are thinking about a future with you.

Plus, if your partner knows that you’re searching for your calling, they may help you try out a bunch of new things. So the choice is yours.

Why you don’t like someone

You may need to tread lightly with this one, especially if they are asking about someone they actually like or consider a friend. A white lie is okay here if your partner cares about this person. Maybe leave out some of the aspects as to why you don’t like this person.

After all, you don’t have to be friends with everyone, and different people get along differently. There’s no shame in disliking someone your partner likes.

When they ask about someone else’s appearance

If your partner asks your opinion about how someone looks, it could be best to respond with a white lie of “they look fine.” Maybe your partner is admiring another person’s fashion sense, and even though it doesn’t look favorable on the other person, it may look flattering on your partner.

Your partner is probably just thinking of themselves in that outfit, so encourage them to try it out and rock it when they wear it!

When they ask about your fears

If you aren’t comfortable telling them what you are afraid of, it’s okay to tell a white lie about this small part of your life. You could even tell them what it is that you’re afraid of, but leave out the details about how serious the fear actually is for you.

Some people have a hard time wrapping their minds around other people’s fears, so remember that it’s not that your partner is trying to invalidate you.

When they ask about your health

Sometimes personal details about your health can stay just that: personal. If you’re not in the best health condition and are working to make that better, it’s okay to leave that feature out and tell a white lie. Know that your partner is there if you do need to talk to someone.

At the same time, if you have any important medical diagnoses like allergies or seizure disorders, best to tell your partner so that they can respond if something goes wrong.

When they ask about your diet

If you struggle with eating disorders or your relationship with food, it’s okay to tell a small white lie about your diet. If you’re getting help and making better choices, then your journey can be a personal one. No need to share it with your partner, at least at first.

Later on, you may find that your partner is your biggest cheerleader when it comes to making great decisions about food.

When they ask what your friends think of them

If your friends don’t have a particularly lovely opinion of your partner, it is okay to tell a white lie and say that they do like them. Maybe they haven’t had a chance to get to know your partner well. You should make sure that your friends do know that your partner is awesome.

After all, it’s likely that your friends aren’t spending as much time around your partner as you are, so their opinion is probably not fully formed yet.

When they ask how often you’re on social media

Do you know that you’re spending too much time on social media, but you don’t want to admit it to your partner? It’s okay to tell a white lie about this, but if they’re asking, they have probably noticed that you are spending too much time on social media, so try to cut back on the screen time.

Sometimes it can be hard to realize how long you spend looking at a screen, but it would probably be a welcome change to put the phone down for a bit.

When they ask about your happiness

If you aren’t happy at the moment, it’s okay to tell a fib about your status. If you aren’t satisfied ever, then maybe a conversation with your partner needs to happen. You’ll need to be open and honest with them, and if there’s something your partner is doing that’s making you unhappy, you need to tell them.

If it’s just a passing bad mood, no worries; a little white lie to get you through the day will likely lead to an improved mood when you wake up the next morning.

When they ask who you’re attracted to

If you have a specific “type” that you are most attracted to but your partner doesn’t fit that bill, you can tell a white lie about this. It will avoid your partner being potentially hurt. Alternatively, you could even say that you have several types and include some of your partner’s attributes!

People are attracted to lots of different things, and it may boost your partner’s confidence to hear that they possess some of them.

When they ask why you’re late

Sometimes we don’t want to admit that we got stuck in the bathroom with a bad stomach and that’s the reason why we’re late. In a situation like this, it’s okay to say that traffic was bad or use another white lie, especially if it really was an accident or unplanned.

If you notice that you’re chronically late or have a hard time keeping deadlines, that may be something to address with yourself.

When they ask about significant family problems

Family problems can be really hard for everyone. If you want to avoid the topic altogether, you can say that everything is okay for the time being. Sometimes telling a white lie can avoid a conversation that can take an hour to explain, especially if you are already emotionally drained.

Give the issue some time to blow over, and if it doesn’t, consider revisiting the issue with some more clarity later so you don’t leave your partner in the dark.

When they ask how work is going

If your work isn’t going great and you’re trying to keep a positive mindset despite all the stress and challenges, it can be best to tell a white lie and let your partner know that work is going just fine. The white lie will give them some peace of mind.

Plus, it will provide you with time to fix issues at work, which you knew you would figure out anyway. Sharing your stress with your partner can lead to more stress in the household.

When they ask if you want to get married

Telling a white lie about this can be good and bad. If you’re unsure, tell your mate just that. Alternatively, if you’re telling a white lie to make a proposal more of a surprise, your partner will definitely be shocked, and the startling moment of truth will be all the more rewarding.

Remember, though that if you’re just not feeling it, telling a white lie to buy yourself more time isn’t accomplishing anything.

When they ask about getting a pet

If you live in a small space that can’t accommodate a pet, it may be best to tell a white lie and say you don’t want any pets. When you’re ready to get a pet, you can let your partner know. The timing of a new place should make your partner even happier.

The reason why this could be a great time to opt for a little fib is because if you simply can’t have a pet, saying you don’t want one helps keep expectations (and disappointment!) low.