Rich People Reveal The Things They Don’t Tell You About Being Rich

Money can buy you a lot of things: private jets to Paris, VIP access to the best clubs or sporting events, and free nights at high-end hotels—in some cases, you can even buy the hotel if you feel like it. It must really be the best kind of life to lead, right? Nothing is off limits, and nothing is out of reach.

They say that money can’t buy happiness, though. The lives of rich people aren’t always filled with exclusive trips and free meals. Sometimes being rich comes with a whole heap of problems that no one ever bothered to tell them about. From freeloading “distant cousins” to shallow relationships, these are stories from rich people who share what it’s really like to be wealthy…

Anything He Wants

I’m affluent, but not rich. A friend of mine is rich, though, so I get a front-row seat to the “show.” The best thing is he can do anything he wants, whenever he wants. But, interestingly, he’s put limits on himself: he’s settled down, purchased a normal-sized—but very nice—house, and had kids. So he is tied down a lot more.

The worst thing is that all motivation to do things must come from within himself. Nobody is telling him to do anything, so if he wants to accomplish something he has to have enough self-discipline to do it. Also, he is very generous, but has a weird attitude towards money. I’ve seen so-called friends assume he’ll just pay for something because he can afford it. When he doesn’t, that friendship cools off pretty fast. I think the reason we are so close is that I’ve never asked him for anything financially. Yes, he’ll pick up the dinner tab more often than me, but I take my turn, too. He’s not a bank. Reddit user: cisco45

No Big Deal

Decision making, for the most part, isn’t based on affordability. Especially not when I go out to eat, or something like that. My lawyer jokes that, for me, $20,000 is “chump change” and he’s more-or-less right. My education was top notch; my food, car, and house are the best money can buy. I have a lot of room to take risks, and if I suffer a major failure it’s not a big deal. It’s a good, safe feeling. I’m my own boss, and that feels safe, too.

There’s very little downside to being wealthy, to be honest—at least, in my experience. If the question wasn’t specifically asked, I’d never have thought about it. But, I think the hardest part is feeling misunderstood. People who aren’t wealthy have a lot of trouble understanding my motivations and decisions. They sort of assume that I’m only in it for myself. Reddit user: sockalicious

Can’t Buy Happiness

The number one benefit of having money is not having to worry about money. Number two is being able to be generous towards friends, family, and loved ones. Anyone who wasn’t born into it daydreams about all the things they’d buy when they have lots of money. If you come into it fairly suddenly (maybe by landing an incredible job straight out of the university, or getting in on a successful startup, etc.), for a little while you’ll collect things, and it’s cool.

But after a while, you have all that stuff and, at best, you’d be upgrading things you already own, so the thrill of new things fades. And the final thing you’ll say to yourself once you’ve finally made it is, “Well, crap. Money really doesn’t buy happiness.” But then, on the other hand, it doesn’t necessarily make you unhappy, either. Reddit user: [redacted]

He Eventually Found Balance

My dad is an extremely successful corporate attorney, and our family’s wealth has exponentially grown over the years. Both of my parents grew up dirt poor and then were solidly in the middle class until I was about 13. That’s when dad really started raking it in. I distinctly remember when our summer vacation was a trip to Six Flags. And then, suddenly, it was first-class flights to private castles in Italy. My parents are religious, my mom is actually a pastor, and they have always juxtaposed humility with excess—if they want it, they get it, and they get exactly what they want, but half the time what they want is from Walmart, so it’s not really ever “excessive.”

I benefit from a trust fund and the security that I will never be homeless, bankrupted by a medical catastrophe, or need to worry about retirement, etc. This is a huge blessing, I know. I’ve definitely benefited from nepotism, too. I now work in the same industry as my father and have my own high-paying job. While all he did was to get me an interview, I know my last name carries weight. Growing up, dad would often travel for business, and was sometimes gone for weeks at a time. Huge chunks of time would pass where I didn’t see him at all. It strained my parents’ marriage, and my dad almost quit in his early 50’s. He eventually managed to find better balance, though, and they’re so happy together. Reddit user: rebelrevolt

You Might Not Even Know

The people who you might consider to be “snobs” are generally the people who don’t actually have much, at all. I worked in a golf club over summer—why I don’t work there anymore is a story for another day. Several very, very, very rich multi-millionaires would come in. Like, top .02%, I’d guess.

What did they order? A glass of Coke for the kids, a pint of Stella for themselves, and maybe sandwiches or burgers.

The somewhat rich? They spend like there’s no tomorrow. Incredibly expensive bottles of wine, and the most expensive things on the menu. They were constantly having their member cards declined for having a $0 balance. They wanted everybody, including the staff, to know how much money they were spending, and demanded the best treatment. It’s really kind of sad, but my biggest takeaway was this: if somebody is actively trying to be seen as rich, they probably aren’t. If somebody really is rich, you’ll probably never know. Reddit user: Swaggy_McSwagSwag

I’m Scared My Family Will Find Out

My husband’s grandfather passed away last year and, in February of this year, we found out that he left my husband an exceptionally large inheritance. We knew his grandfather was wealthy, but figured his money would go to my mother-in-law, or one of his favorite charities. My husband and I are in our late 20’s. I grew up in a blue collar, lower middle class household. My husband’s parents made their own money, and didn’t rely on the family for their income.

When we learned about the inheritance, we were in the middle of saving up to buy a house, and had no debt to our names. We clip coupons and buy things on sale. When we met with our financial adviser last week, he gave us a checkbook with enough money in the account to buy our first home outright, for cash. It feels very strange to know that I don’t have to worry about money anymore.

I still feel embarrassed when I buy treats for myself. I have bought one pumpkin-spice latte this year—yes, white girl in my 20s here, no yoga pants at the moment, though. The worst thing is worrying that people will find out. My family doesn’t know. They just know that I have a very good job, and that my husband and I are fantastic at budgeting. Everyone expects a payout when they know you have something. I guess I’m just afraid of losing people I care about. Reddit user: [redacted]

We Worked For What We Wanted

The best thing is having unlimited opportunities available to you. I am fortunate to study at a top-10 university, which will open doors for me to make my own life and not have to use my family’s money, unless I hit hard times. My parents raised us making sure that we’d know how to work hard. If there was something we wanted, it wasn’t just given. We had to work for it. In high school I worked at a restaurant to make all my money. My parents refused to give us an allowance because they didn’t want to spoil us. I hated it at the time, but I’m really thankful for it now.

The worst part is the guilt people make you feel if and when they find out how much money you have. They act as if it’s something you can control, or should be ashamed of. There also seems to be this misconception that rich kids aren’t motivated to work, which I hate. It’s for this reason that I don’t really share a lot about my family with other people. Only my close friends really know, but they don’t really bring it up because they know it’s a touchy subject for me. Reddit user: trashcompactor25

He Was The Biggest Influence On My Life

A teacher I had in high school who taught physics was very rich. He sold his consultancy company to a larger corporation for several billion dollars. Yes, you read that right. Billion with a B. He and his business partner split it fifty-fifty. After relaxing for a couple of years, he decided to go into teaching. He was the most laid-back teacher I ever had. Almost every Friday he would bring in donuts and, since he had an engineering background, he wanted to get a lot of students interested in engineering so he organized these “engineering dinners.”

Man, those meals were awesome. We would all be enjoying a delicious meal while sitting around with highly successful engineers who would tell us about their careers. I have got to say, looking back on it that’s what really got me into engineering. Most importantly, this guy never flaunted his wealth. Sure, he drove a nice car, but he never acted like he was above us. He was also probably the most influential teacher I had in my four years at that school. Reddit user: PhiloftheFuture2014

It’s About What You Do With It

My dad is in the top 0.5% of earners in the US. He’s an immigrant who came to the country with about $200 in his pocket. He begged his uncle to buy his plane ticket to America as a gift, and he earned a full-ride for graduate school. He was originally planning to get a PhD, but he got a job offer after his first summer internship. He hustled to finish an MBA and has been working like crazy ever since. You honestly would never know looking at him, though—he wears shoes from Costco, and still wears his favorite shirts from the 80s. We have a minivan and two sedans. He bought his first house in 1990, paid it off a few years later, and has lived there ever since.

I think the thing that makes me admire my dad the most is that he is very generous with his money, but he’s quiet about it. He donates to a lot of great causes, but doesn’t make a fuss or even tell many people. If his friends or family are ever in a bind, he is the first to help them out. Whenever I see people he knows, from work to friends or family, they always mention how much he helped them when they needed it most. I think my dad understands that money isn’t anything unless you use it to help others. Reddit user: twizzwhizz11

Everyone Knows You’re Rich

Relatives or friends wanting to borrow money, and resenting you for not helping when they “really need it,” is the most difficult part of being rich. Lots of people talk about it, but it’s usually about people who suddenly win the lottery and their “distant cousins” start coming out of the woodwork. But it’s the same for those of us who always had money in the first place. The only difference is that everyone always knew it was there.

Helping someone out during a medical emergency is one thing. Taking your kids to Disney World and then asking for money for the rent, though, is something else entirely. It makes it pretty obvious that you think we’re stupid, or a bank. “We can spend our money on fun things because we deserve it and so-and-so will help out with the bills. After all, we’re family.” Reddit user: Green7000

It’s Just My Parents Who Are Rich

It can cause you to feel like a total failure. Especially if you’re from a rich family where one of your parents was able to make a lot of money and neither of them came from wealthy backgrounds. It can be very disappointing to feel like you will never be as good, or reach that same level of success. I will NEVER come close to where my parents are with the career I want.

I might make $35-45k/yr once I get fully into my career. Compared to the $600k to $1.2mil/yr my father makes, though, it’s nothing. I expect I’ll inherit some money when I get older, but it’ll probably just go straight into my retirement savings. However much it is, I don’t think it’ll really do anything to change my lifestyle. I’ve had easier access to opportunities than my parents did. I could have done a lot of other things with my life and been better off. This is what rich kids mean when they tell you that it’s just their parents who are rich. Reddit user: LateCheckIn

Money To Spare

You feel awkward and out of place when you hang out with really good people that have serious money problems. Especially if they see you buying really expensive stuff all the time. I personally try not to show off wealth if I can help it, especially with girls I want to date, because people will absolutely treat you differently. Sometimes it’s subtle, but other times they make it completely obvious.

For example: this one ex-girlfriend of mine started texting me one day, out of the blue, asking for pizza for her and her new boyfriend because she was hungry and I had “money to spare.” Just like that. We weren’t together and hadn’t spoken in ages, but she still felt like she could just ask me for free stuff because I have money. Reddit user: [redacted]

So-Called Friends

The number of people that call themselves your “friends” is the worst. My family used to own a successful business and we were total ballers. We had money coming out of our ears. Then, something happened and we lost it all in a matter of days. It was a HUGE shock to me in terms of lifestyle change. We did not become poor, per se, as we had savings and a backup plan, but we were way worse off, relatively speaking.

I stopped doing a lot of things to try to save money. My so-called “friends” instantly ditched me because I no longer paid for their drinks or expensive dinners. I was heartbroken because I legitimately thought they were my friends. I still had my lovely girlfriend, though. She was the only one who was actually there for just me. My family bounced back and we are now doing even better than before. Of course, some of those “old friends” have tried making their way back into my life. I simply don’t reply to their texts. Reddit user: [redacted]

One Of The Lucky Ones

Growing up in a wealthy family can really skew your perception of what it’s like for other kids. My family never had to worry about money growing up. We took vacations fairly often, I never had to go hungry, and I didn’t have to take out student loans to attend my very expensive, first-choice university. It was only when I got a bit older that I realized just how lucky I was.

My parents did teach me to really appreciate everything I have, though. It really scares me how other rich kids act a lot of the time when things don’t go their way. I see teenagers throw actual tantrums while they are out and about. It’s appalling. We were taught to deal with disappointment with grace and humility because, even though we were privileged, it could all disappear in a heartbeat. Reddit user: drivingcrosscountry

It’s An Education Problem

I ended up making a friend back in graduate school whose family was very well off. One day I was explaining to her why I was missing a tooth. It was because they wanted about $2,000 to fix it back then—it needed a root canal and a crown that would be more like $3,000 today—and I just didn’t have the money. She was all over my case and said that I shouldn’t have let it go because “teeth last a lifetime if you take care of them,” and that I clearly just didn’t want to spend the $2,000.

She couldn’t even comprehend the fact that I was an undergrad when the tooth went bad, and didn’t even have a $2,000 credit limit yet. Plus, my parents were broke, too. I asked her why she figured it was that people in poor areas were always missing teeth. She was convinced it was just a lack of education. She didn’t understand that poor people don’t have secret savings. Neither did she understand that they’re not poor because they’re stupid. What a sheltered life… Reddit user: [redacted]

They Want You To Buy Them Things

When you become wealthy, you lose most of your old friends. Suddenly you can’t relate anymore. You both have problems, but they’re very different kinds of problems. You also have to be careful with conspicuous consumption—buying nice things—around family who aren’t wealthy. I bought my wife a Cadillac, and suddenly the in-laws have their noses out of joint.

“I can’t believe my child drives a Cadillac. I can’t afford a Cadillac.” How do you respond to that in a civil way? You can’t. “Um, sorry, Gary, but it’s not my problem you don’t have a fancy car.” And, you know it’s just them trying to get you to offer to buy them one, too. To be honest, if they weren’t so passive-aggressive about it, I probably would. Reddit user: jdoe74

I Can’t Tell Anyone

The one thing no one tells you about being wealthy is how hard it is to form quality relationships, and how not to be boring—because you can tell almost no one. I’m in university right now, and I’ve tried not to let money get in the way of friendships. I constantly downplay my family’s wealth just so I don’t attract people who only want my money. I don’t drive a fancy car and I live on campus instead of a swanky, downtown apartment.

Most of my friends are great people, and a ton of them are from lower-income families—I wish I could go, “You have had a hard life, and good on you for making it here. Here’s some money.” But I can’t without making myself look like a total jerk. I also can’t talk about weekend trips to play golf, visits to tropical islands, or going to Paris for fear of sparking jealousy. Because I can’t talk about it, I’m seen as “mysterious,” distant, or just totally aloof. Reddit user: Justanotherrichkid

Pay In Cash

The richer you are the more free stuff you get. How’s that for irony? Those who can afford to spend the money often don’t have to. My mom’s boyfriend is an engineer, and very well off—think multi-millionaire. He is constantly being given free suits, gift cards, money, and tickets to games. You name it, he probably gets it for free. Not that he doesn’t deserve it. He’s a nice guy, and he works hard.

A lot of the freebies do come from his job, but most of his friends are just as wealthy so they give each other thousands of dollars in Christmas gifts—sometimes in straight cash. Like I said, he’s a nice guy who puts in the hours, but he’s still a little out of touch. He thinks it’s ridiculous that anyone would take out a car loan when they could just “pay in cash.” Reddit user: [redacted]

They Have No Idea

I married into a really wealthy family, and after 12 years I’ve had a lot of eye-opening glimpses into the mindset of wealthy people. Here’s the thing: most rich people literally do not know what it means to be poor on a day-to-day basis. They may be aware of the problems faced by the poor, but they still don’t understand what it’s like to live it.

Simple transportation, for example. It’s unfathomable to them that somebody could be without transportation. For over a year I lived in the suburbs without a car. They couldn’t understand that it meant we literally couldn’t go anywhere that public transportation couldn’t take us. They don’t get that transportation literally dictates your job options, and that those jobs don’t actually pay enough to live off of.

I don’t mean to say that they’re mean-spirited people. They just have no concept of what it’s like not to have the means to take care of the basic necessities in life. The idea of having to take what you can get has never crossed their minds. It endlessly confuses them. I hope they never have to be poor. I don’t think they’d survive. Reddit user: [redacted]

Looking For Handouts

We went from making $35k a year for a decade to making around $150k-200k per year for the last seven years. In central Indiana, that’s a fortune. We’re not rich, but comfortable. The biggest, quickest change was everyone asking for money. “Nice new car! I’d buy one, but I can’t even afford to eat, because I’m late on my rent. But, it’s ok; if I can’t pay rent, I’ll just come live with you for a few months. Can I borrow $2k?” My brother is the only person I can trust about lending money to. He’ll always pay it back. The rest are just looking for a handout.

A few years ago we went to a family retreat to the mountains. We were supposed to split the costs between four families. So, I reserve a cabin and say, “The cabin is $2,800, your share is $700, and you’ll make one day of the meals.” Everyone initially agrees. But when I start asking for money, they all say, “We’ll pay when we get there.” That’s a red flag, right? When we all got there, everyone sat me down to explain how I had enough money, and I didn’t need theirs. You know, after I already paid for everything.

I was furious, but no refunds were possible, so I had to eat the cost. Speaking of eating, two families left early because they were starving and I “didn’t provide” enough food. I’ve since been “disowned” for refusing to book any more family vacations. Reddit user: [redacted]

It Could All Just Disappear

They don’t tell you that you will still worry about money. If you grew up without it you will always worry that it will go away. You will not be comfortable spending just “for fun.” You’ll fix what needs fixing, but you’ll still drive an old, used car. You won’t be able to justify the expense of a new, fancy sports car, or a large home. It’s virtually impossible to let go of the mindset that it could all disappear in a moment.

Your loved ones will have what they need. No one will have debts or student loans. You will live in a nice neighborhood, even. But nobody will know how much you actually have because you will never assume it’s permanent. I thought it would be really, really nice to have money. But, I never thought I’d feel like it wasn’t even mine to spend. Reddit user: fusepark

That’s Why We Stick Together

I guess the worst thing is that you get cynical at a young age, because you meet so many people who want to use you really early on. The psychiatrist I was seeing to treat my clinical depression, for example, asked me to introduce her husband to my father. Very professional. I lost a lot of friends because they kept borrowing money from me and refusing to pay me back because I “shouldn’t be selfish” when I have so much money. In the 5th grade, I invited a “friend” over to my house, and she stole things from me.

You know why rich people often end up sticking together? It’s not purely snobbery, or having a common background. It just feels safer. When they have as much or more than you, they’re less likely to use you. Not only that, you already know what they’re like when they make it. A lot of people are only nice because they haven’t had the opportunity to be anything else. Once they have money, though, they have a complete personality change.

One of my exes started out as a “nice guy” but, once I introduced him into my circles, he started acting like the stereotypical rich jerk, despite having no money of his own. Turns out he wasn’t a “nice guy.” He was just a jerk who’d never had the opportunity to let it show. Reddit user: bankergoesrawrr

Everyone Has A Motive

I had a successful startup that I sold to a large, multinational corporation for several hundred million dollars. The number of friends and family members that come out of the woodwork is astounding. People you haven’t seen for years—some you’ve never even heard of—all of a sudden know you, and have your number or email. Relatives, old school friends, etc. They have families to support, student loans, debt, health bills. You always think, “If I strike it big, I’ll help my parents and siblings, and that’s it.”

Then that balloons to cousins. Then distant cousins and family overseas. Then neighbors, old family friends, and even their relatives. Everyone has things to pay for. And you can’t say no. If you say no, then it’s “but you helped so-and-so”. You’re called greedy. Family problems pop up. That coffee you spilled on someone a few years ago? You remember the one. You apologized profusely, and they insisted it was no big deal. Now, suddenly, it’s a lawsuit. You are a target. Everyone’s motives are in question. Reddit user: throwdataway

It’s A Fine Line

My husband and I are rich, but we’re basically the millionaires-next-door. No one knows. Our money is inherited—$7M between the two of us, and we’re eventually looking at an eight-figure inheritance. We live in a $175k house and drive older Hondas. We live very comfortably, but not extravagantly. We both went to top-10 universities, and I went on to get a PhD. Our “total household income” is only $120k/year.

The good: we were both able to pursue careers that we enjoy without worrying about compensation. We don’t argue about money. It is an incredible comfort to know that part of life is already taken care of. My children can go to college anywhere they choose. If we begin to dislike our jobs, we can quit before something else is lined up. It really is an amazing amount of security, and we feel very lucky.

The bad: there really are very few downsides. The hardest part is knowing when/how to step in when friends are struggling, or making bad financial decisions. It’s very uncomfortable knowing I could wipe out major debts, but I can’t or shouldn’t. There’s a real sense that this money is “not ours” because we didn’t earn it. But, that also comes with the feeling that we have to protect it. Reddit user: NotNotaCylon

An Attitude Problem

The best part is, obviously, the experiences. Most people cannot simply charter a private plane to Vegas for just one night, or choose between vacation homes based on the weather in each location. I’ve had the opportunity to see and go places I never would have been able to otherwise. From sightseeing at beautiful and historic locations to getting into bars and clubs reserved for the VIPs. It’s surreal, and I know I’m very, very lucky.

The worst part is the attitude some wealthy people have. Like passing judgment on the stupidest of things. Usually how much wealth other people have. I remember other women looking me up and down like I’d just walked out of a homeless shelter or something because I had the audacity to wear anything other than Burberry sweaters and Alexander McQueen shoes. Reddit user: [redacted]

I Don’t Know How To Tell People

When my husband and I got engaged, he sat me down and shared with me that his parents had set up a trust fund for him. Basically, when he turned 30, we became millionaires overnight. He’s super down-to-earth, and still works the same job. He doesn’t get paid a ton, but he is doing what he loves. He grew up knowing his family was rich, and had a lot of amazing experiences. He knew the trust fund was coming, so he was prepared.

I, on the other hand, haven’t quite figured out how to handle talking to friends about certain things. Like us buying a house that seems way too expensive. Most of them don’t know we have money. I find myself feeling ashamed a lot of the time, or scared that people will judge us or want money from us. I love being generous and treating people to things, but I don’t want it to become an expectation from friends, because then it won’t seem like a genuine friendship. Reddit user: fortunate_throwaway

Still In Mom’s Basement

I was fortunate enough to have entered the top 0.5% of earners about a year and a half ago. Before that I was living in my mom’s basement, barely getting by. I was only pulling in something like $15,000 a year. It’s completely surreal to think about now. Sometimes I wake up and forget, just for a moment, that I’m not still in mom’s basement.

I wouldn’t call myself rich yet, but by far the best thing about money is freedom. It’s very liberating being able to do what you want, when you want. Being able to travel wherever you want, eat whatever meal at whatever restaurant without thinking twice about the price, that kind of thing. The bad? It’s just minor things. But being expected to pay for tabs and things like that do happen. Usually, I’m more than happy to do it, but it feels tainted, somehow, when it’s expected. Reddit user: RPN

It Can Change You

Getting or losing money can completely change a person. I had a friend who came into serious money. I mean serious money. I’ve never been too sure how much he got, but it’s enough for him—and his kids—to never have to work again. He went from a guy we all loved to hang out with, to a stuck up, self-righteous, jerk almost overnight. Suddenly, he was too good for us.

He constantly complains about how we can’t do the things he does. For example: working for free in other countries doing relief work. He looked at one of our friends and said, “Well, I mean you could go do what I do, but you won’t because you don’t care if other people die.” I looked at him and said, “If any of us had the money you have, we would be there doing the same. Honestly, I think the money has made you one of the worst people I know.” I stopped being friends with him after that. Reddit user: [redacted]

Cars Don’t Replace Family

I think the biggest thing people don’t realize—people who actually work for their money—is what the price is for being rich. My father was an executive and made a lot of money each year, but the price of that was that he was never around while I was growing up. So, the ultimate cost of wealth was weak familial ties.

I’m not complaining, though. I learned a lot as I grew up, and came to be very independent. I also don’t think either of us would have been happy with each other if he was around more. But, that’s the price of it all. You may have a McMansion, nice new German cars every other year, and a sizable stock portfolio. But, that’s it. Cars don’t send you thoughtful Christmas cards. Reddit user: theoryofdoom

People Will Twist Your Words

I grew up in a very wealthy family, but I never realized how wealthy until my brother mentioned it. You don’t realize that a parent deciding that they need a new car—my dad drives a lot for his business, and so after 100k miles he buys a new car—and just going out and buying one for cash is not a common thing when you’re seeing this as a kid.

Talking to my non-affluent friends was always a touchy thing. I always tried to be mindful that not everyone was lucky enough to have been born into money. It’s put strains on friendships, and has ended many. People take what you say and twist it to get you to feel bad, or get money out of you. I’ve had girls date me for money, and then dump me for not showering them with expensive gifts, and friends end decade-long friendships because I didn’t invest in their next “big idea.” Reddit user: awkwardbaloon

A Shock To The System

Rich kids are in for an even bigger shock than middle-class kids after finishing college. Many middle-class people are forced to temper their expectations about what kinds of jobs they can get and how much they can make. They grew up knowing it wasn’t that easy. However, I’ve known many rich kids who majored in things like “video game journalism,” or Asian-American Women’s Literature, only to realize, four years later, that no one was particularly interested in their skill set, and of those who were, none of them were going to pay what they were expecting to make.

When you’ve spent your whole life having fun, with no regard for spending limits and the power of money, the “real world” seems insanely harsh. No longer can you just order food out every night, or always get a cab home. You can’t just decide to go to Europe on a four day weekend. When you see an item of clothing that you really like only to realize that it’s two months worth of rent… well, you’re in for a shock.

I know about a dozen rich kids who had a BLAST in college, only to graduate and realize they were unemployable by anyone other than their parents’ company. They had to either get another, more useful, degree or settle for never making as much as their parents made. Reddit user: [redacted]

No One Tries To Hide Their Feelings

I’m in my mid-twenties and reasonably wealthy. I own a really nice car and some property. I got lucky a few years ago and was in the right industry, with the right background, at the right time. People trash-talk behind your back, and try to devalue you. I took my girlfriend to Rome for our anniversary one year, and the next thing I heard was rumors about how I’d borrowed the money from my parents.

No one wants to believe that I made the money on my own. Clearly I’m just a spoiled rich kid who has no concept of how the world works, right? Sorry, guys. It was my money that I spent going to Rome. I guess it doesn’t really matter what they think in the end, but it’s still frustrating. Especially considering that no one really tries to hide those opinions from me. Reddit user: TheGuyInTheVest

We Have Real Problems, Too

Just because you, or your family, has money doesn’t mean you automatically have an amazing life. Rich people can be riddled with things like anxiety and depression, too. And, of course, people downplay it, because you “can’t have any problems” because of your money. Then, there’s an added bonus of hating yourself for being an ungrateful jerk who, somehow, despite having a lot of money, still hates their life. I’ve had friends—even one boyfriend—that said that I have no right to complain about certain things, because money isn’t an issue in my family.

My parents are pretty well-off and have used it to manipulate me in ways that have destroyed my confidence, causing much undue stress and anxiety in my life. My financial dependence on them has been used as, essentially, blackmail multiple times. I no longer want to trust my parents, but have to because I don’t have a degree or an “adult job.” I do have a part-time job that allows me some autonomy in my life, but it doesn’t mend broken trust. Reddit user: spookychan

It’s All About The Stuff

Two things. One: they don’t tell you how hated you will be because you’re successful. I hate how people with money are vilified on the internet. It annoys me to no end. I grew up in a wealthy home and I’ve gone on to build my own success, as well. However, I don’t think people understand how giving many people with money can be.

Two: they don’t tell you that many of the relationships you build will be shallow and unfulfilling. Many wealthy kids don’t realize that they bond over material possessions, even if they consciously don’t care about that stuff. They spend their time playing Xbox in the game room, or on hobbies that are super expensive. All of your relationships end up revolving around stuff, and what you can do for them. Reddit user: capecodcaper

You Get Taken Advantage Of

I’m one of those people that everyone loves to hate. I was born into a family that has become one of the world’s leading brands for what we sell. I’m not going to share who we are or what we do, but it’s been an incredible ride over the past 20 years. When I was born, we were a shell of what we are today, but have grown into a company with $4 billion in annual revenue.

It feels pretty great overall. Having the flexibility and access to do just about whatever I want is great. Not living paycheck-to-paycheck, not having to answer to a boss, and not needing to worry about material or financial things is a wonderful blessing. However, it doesn’t come without its own set of challenges. Once people know—and nearly everyone where I live knows the family name—you are automatically set up to get taken advantage of by anyone you do business with. While a lot of businesses will drop everything to cater to the needs of people like me, they do it with the intention of squeezing every nickel out of you that they can. Reddit user: anonymousthrowaway0

The Good And The Bad

The Good: my parents made it a point to emphasize that money can allow you to do the things that make you happy, but money itself won’t make you happy. Whether it’s taking family vacations or donating to charity, money allows you to do the things that you want. My dad didn’t work his butt off just for the money. He did it so that he could provide a better life for his family and friends. We were the house that always hosted parties, and let people have their weddings in our backyard.

The Bad: people try to make you feel guilty for being wealthy. People judge my character based on the fact that my father was very successful. I was so oblivious and uncaring about money when I was young, yet everyone assumed I was spoiled or a snob. To this day I don’t ever tell people where I grew up, because immediately they assume I am some rich spoiled kid. It bothers me because my dad was poor growing up and he accomplished so much for himself and his family. I am proud of my dad, not only for his success, but for becoming the generous man he is able to be because of it. Reddit user: [redacted]

They Won’t Let Me Take Care Of Them

I got my dream job, and started making more than my parents combined, while I was still living with them. Being 25 at the time, I spent a little money on some of my hobbies, but not a lot. About $500 went to a project motorbike. I’d always wanted to work on one. And, of course, I got myself a nice car and better clothes.

I couldn’t enjoy my earnings without being criticized at every turn, though. Offer to take my folks out to eat? I’m showing off. Offer to help them with medical or auto repair bills? I’m still showing off. Bought them groceries, just because? You guessed it: showing off AND wasting money by buying them brand-name soda. It created a lot of resentment, and I made the decision to leave.

I still see them regularly but, to tell you the truth, it isn’t the same. Why couldn’t they let me take care of them like they took care of me? Reddit user: 0xc0000e9

All The Money In The World Is Never Enough

The strangest thing I learned is that you can never have enough money, no matter how wealthy you are. There’s always something else to buy—something more, or extra, to spend on. They range from experiences, to necessities, to material possessions. For example, say I live in NYC and work on Wall Street (I don’t, but this is an example). Maybe my boss wants to take me out for lunch. We go to an awesome, but very expensive, place and he drops $4k on lunch. Okay, cool.

Next time we go to the bar, I’m expected to buy the drinks, right? My boss just took me out for lunch, and he’s also there at the bar with us. I can’t just say, “Sorry guys I don’t wanna buy tonight,” and literally risk my job. So, I order a round of some super-pricey wine or liquor. At the end of the night, my bill is over $1,000. People complain about spending a hundred bucks at the bar in one night. Well, I may earn two or three times more than they do, but my bar bill is about 10x theirs. And, if I don’t buy, I could be out of a job.

And no one understands, or cares, that I don’t want to spend all my money at the bar. Reddit user: [redacted]

Money Obviously Buys Success

I come from a well-to-do family, and so does my husband. We both have high-paying jobs. There is a crushing expectation of success when you come from a wealthy family. You’re never allowed to fail or mess up. For some reason failing at anything is about a million times worse, simply because you’re wealthy. You have a facade of inherent success to maintain.

But, there’s the weird flip-side to that: if you actually do succeed, it’s never your own success, even if your success had nothing to do with your family. You always got where you are because of something other than your merits—people mostly assume it’s because your parents paid someone off. For example: my husband once got asked who his dad paid to get him the job he has. Reddit user: [redacted]