People Share Their Nightmare-Mother-In-Law Stories

Mothers-in-law are meant to be secondary maternal figures, who end up becoming permanent parts of one’s life the minute two people walk down the aisle. While it goes great for a lot of people, many folks have more than a few issues when it comes to their MILs.

Now that’s certainly understandable, because different personalities can often clash. But what if the personalities clash so much that it wreaks havoc on one’s life and relationship?That’s exactly what’s happened to many people, for many different reasons.

They’ve somehow managed to find the person they love above all others. Unfortunately, that bliss has sadly come with a woman who just doesn’t seem to know her place. Here are some stories people have shared about the worst mothers-in-law imaginable…

Baby Gender Demands

When my husband and I were expecting our first child, my MIL demanded that we had to give her a girl. I explained that there was no possible way for us to guarantee that, but throughout my entire pregnancy, she continued to badger us about how the baby better be a girl. I mean what was she expecting us to do? Magically choose the baby’s gender?

We did a little reveal at a family party when we found out we were having a boy, and she tried to attack me, punched my husband, and got rip-roaring drunk. She was so drunk, she barfed all over herself – and her bathroom – for hours on end. We didn’t speak to her for years after that incident – something she also complained about. Reddit user: [redacted]

Monopoly Madness

One Thanksgiving, my husband, son, mother-in-law and I started playing Monopoly. In the middle of the game, my mother-in-law says she needs to do something. She doesn’t say what, but she just gets up and leaves the dining room. We figure she’s gone to the bathroom, so my son continues playing for her. Little did we know, she went and took a nap.

So we’re playing for a few more hours, and then my mother-in-law returns. She’s all, “What are you all doing?!” Well, the fact that we continued to play for her while she disappeared for a couple hours peeved her off so much that she violently shook the board – sending all the cards, money, and pieces flying all over the dining room. I think we were all speechless. Reddit user: [redacted]

Evicting Me At My Lowest

My mother-in-law took me out to dinner and told me, at the end of it, that I had a little over a month to move out of the condo I rented from her, because they didn’t want to be landlords anymore, and that I had to deal with the taxes and stuff that went with it; she then proceeded to hand me a magazine with a list of places for rent. Not unusual, right?

Well, their son – my husband – had died there almost three months before this conversation took place. I’m crying, and she had the nerve to say that my crying made her uncomfortable. So yes, not only was I dealing with the death of my husband, but I also got kicked out of the place we’d made our home. She’s definitely crazy and terrible! Reddit user: [redacted]

The Matchmaker

My mother-in-law loves my husband’s ex, and doesn’t seem ready to acknowledge the fact that he married someone else. I don’t really care that she stays in touch with her, but I’m not sure how I’m supposed to respond when she tells us over dinner that his ex is single again and looking for someone special, followed by a meaningful look.

She’d also call me by my husband’s ex-wife’s name, like – always. She knew it bothered me, but didn’t care because she had no respect for me. Every time I see her at a family gathering, she’d always say, “Oh, are you guys still married?” Like, hello?! Isn’t it obvious?! Can you just please try to be happy for us? Reddit user: [redacted]

Hijacking My Sleeping Baby

My mother-in-law lives with my husband and me. He and I have recently been trying to conceive (first child for both of us). We’ve been talking about turning the spare bedroom into a nursery, and my mother-in-law said that there was no need, as the baby would be sleeping in her room with her. I told her that no, it wouldn’t.

She then became angry, and said that my husband and I sleep too soundly to hear a baby crying. I said that unless she plans on breastfeeding my baby, there’s no way she’s keeping the baby in her room. She answered, “Fine! Then I’ll be the one to pick the baby’s name.” Um, no lady, that’s not how this works. Reddit user: [redacted]

She Went There

After my three animals passed on (two dogs, one cat), my husband didn’t want another pet, even though I did. When my husband and I were talking about children, I really didn’t want any and he wanted two, so we ended up compromising and having one child. Which really turned out to be the best thing for us. All of this is relevant to the story.

So my mother-in-law was emailing about planning a family event. She asked my opinion, and I responded, “I don’t care. I don’t really have a dog in this race. Besides, my husband won’t let me get a dog. Ha ha.” She responded, “That’s OK. You won’t let him have another child.” Oh no, you didn’t just go there. Reddit user: celticqueen

Not My Son’s Baby

My MIL comes to stay with us for two weeks when our first baby was born. She sees my son for the first time, waits until my husband leaves the room, and says, “How did you convince the doctor to let you carry this baby for so long? He’s obviously four months old. Don’t worry, I won’t tell my son it’s not his baby.” I was like, seriously?

She also went completely against our wishes (and the doctor’s orders) to give him a bottle filled with whole milk and banana cereal. It’s something our parents did, but is no longer recommended until kids are 4-6 months old. So since we told her not to do that, she hid the bottle under the couch so that I wouldn’t find it, and kept feeding him with this dirty bottle.

About a week later, I notice my baby has white stuff all up inside his mouth, on the inside of his cheeks. We took him to the doctor, and he told us that he had a bacterial infection called thrush from a dirty bottle. We get home, and I freak out. MIL tells me, “Oh, all my kids had thrush. Just scrape it off the inside of his cheeks with a Brillo pad.” Oh, God. Reddit user: [redacted]

Getting Paid To Leave

My first husband (back when he was my boyfriend) and I were given contracts by his mother (after she found out that I came from a low-income family) spelling out the financial benefits of us breaking up. If we agreed to break up and sign the contracts, he’d get his college paid for and a new car, and I’d get $10,000.

Even after we both refused, she actually came to the house we were sharing and explained that I was an unacceptable girlfriend for her son, and offered me additional money and a new contract for $20,000. Yeah. She was my mother-in-law for nine years after that. We ended the marriage in part because I couldn’t stand the things she’d resort to as the years passed by. Reddit user: [redacted]

Her Quest For Weight Loss

Each Christmas, the whole family (10-15 people at least, plus their guests) would get together and exchange gifts. Each year, I’d get the same themed gift from my MIL. I’m overweight (actually, just a bit chubby), so she felt the need to emphasize it by doing things like giving me individually wrapped cans of slim fast, or a box of diet pills.

But my very favorite was one year when she gave me one of those neoprene waistband things that are supposed to make you sweat like a goat until you have a slim waist. After getting over the initial shock, I just had to laugh at the situation. Like, come on! Is my fat hurting you so much that you’re that bothered by it? Reddit user: [redacted]

An Unwanted Announcement

When we were at a family event, I started bleeding very heavily and my mother-in-law was the only person who knew we were pregnant. My husband and I left immediately and asked her not to say a word, and just say I had an emergency in my family and had to go. We later found out that neither my life nor the baby’s were ever in jeopardy.

Instead, my MIL threw herself on the floor in front of the entire family (and friends of) and starting crying that I was having a miscarriage. Like we didn’t even know if I was miscarrying at that point, and we made her promise not to say anything. Then, while I was miscarrying, she kept telling me I had to understand how hard it was for her, so I couldn’t be mad at her. Reddit user: [redacted]

She Likes To Compete

My wife’s mother is a horrible individual. She goes out of her way to belittle me in front of people. She doesn’t like me, and has made that very clear. It’s gotten to the point now that I just stay away from her. I’m missing family functions and get-togethers, as I hate being around her. She argues with everyone about anything and everything, and she’s “always right.”

A while back, my son was diagnosed with cancer (years ago, he’s doing amazing now). She tried to tell me that I don’t feel about him like she does, because she’s his grandmother and I’ll never understand. As if we were having a ‘who is more sad’ competition. I just don’t know what to do anymore, honestly. This woman is unbearable. Reddit user: xTc_Khaos

 She Got Rid Of My Dress

My mother-in-law has a huge house with plenty of storage room, so she offered to keep my wedding dress in a spare closet for me. Years later, when I had daughters, I asked if I could have it back. She informed me that the entire dress had been devoured by mice. Apparently, the mice didn’t touch any other items in the house – only my wedding dress.

My sister-in-law later informed me that my mother-in-law got rid of it out of spite. I would’ve loved to have been able to have some of the material to share in some way with my daughters. I’d have gladly taken the dress back if she no longer wanted to store it. She could’ve just asked. Reddit user: [redacted]

A Gem Of A Mother-In-Law

My MIL has called me fat multiple times, and at all but one of these times I weighed between 110 and 115 lbs, and I’m 5’5”. The other time I was pregnant, and hadn’t gained any weight yet. And she tells small lies all the time to get her way. She’s so absurd that I don’t even know what to think about her.

She said I’m ridiculous because I won’t throw away books that I’ve read. She told me I’m weird for putting things together for my son all by myself (following directions is hard) instead of waiting until a man is around to do it. The list can go on forever, really. It would be great to simply not have to deal with her, but it’s true what they say- you marry the family. Reddit user: silly987

 A Winnie The Pooh Obsession

When I got married, my mother-in-law told me I had to pick a favorite cartoon character, because all the women in the family had one as their ‘signature thing’. I told her I didn’t really like cartoons, so she ‘assigned’ me Winnie-the-Pooh, since I have a big tummy. Now, every year, I get Winnie-the-Pooh themed gifts for my birthday and Christmas.

So far I’ve gotten embroidered overalls, pajama pants, numerous stuffed toys, a stamp set, wall decals, ornaments, earrings, a stencil to use to paint him on my walls, and even a gift certificate to a tattoo parlor to get the ol’ bear and his honey jar inked on my skin. It’s so annoying, but I’ve almost gotten used to it at this point. Reddit user: [redacted]

What’s The Point?

I sat around having dinner with my husband’s family one night, and my father-in-law asks my husband and me if we wanted to have a child. We both said not at the moment, to which my mother-in-law replies, “But what’s the point of your marriage then, if you don’t want children?” I then told her it was because I wanted to commit to her son and spend my life with him.

I could tell she totally didn’t get what I was trying to say to her. After a few minutes of silence, she pipes up with, “To be honest, if you’re not going to have children, what’s the point in being alive?” They’re a big part of the reason we’re not together anymore. Reddit user: [redacted]

The Trouble Starter

My mother-in-law didn’t allow me to have Wi-Fi or data on my phone, and randomly checked my phone to make sure I wasn’t sending men any nudes. One time, she and I had a private talk in her bedroom. As soon as I came out, my husband knew something had happened, so he went in and talked to her. When I walk back in past her, she mutters under her breath, “You sneaky brat.” I whirl around and get out a, “What’d you just call me?”

She runs past me, reaches the front door, and starts screaming on the front porch, “Oh screw you! I won’t have you treat me like this in my son’s house. I knew you’d take him from me. You brat!” I yelled back, “Don’t bother coming back in until you apologize.” She then sat in her car for two hours, refusing to speak to her son or me, and saying I started it. Reddit user: [redacted]

The Toxic Mother-In-Law

My mother-in-law has repeatedly made me uncomfortable, and been offensive. One weekend, she decided to sit me down and tell me (in skin-crawling detail) about her sexual escapades with someone totally off limits. Mind you, I’m close with this person who is off limits. She does this under the guise of my being her confidant, but I’m not stupid – it was calculated and intentional.

Being around her is so uncomfortable, and no matter how much she pretends in front of her son, I know how she feels about me, as she’s made it clear. My counselor told me (yes, it’s intense enough that I mentioned it to my counselor) that she’s toxic in my life and I need to be clear about setting boundaries. But how do I do that while sparing the man I love so much? Reddit user: GirlBot22

A Bit Aggressive?

My step-MIL made me cry within the first five minutes of meeting her, by instantly challenging me on why our parents were not listed on the wedding announcement. Short answer: both of us have divorced/remarried parents – for a total of eight parents. We kind of wanted our names to be the memorable thing on the announcement, not the list of people at the top.

Secondly, we’re in our 30s and paid for our own wedding, so it’s not like they threw the party. It’s not hideous, but it set the tone for our relationship, and I’ve been terrified of her since that first “chat.” It’s pretty safe to say that I don’t talk to her much, and try to stay away however and whenever I can. Reddit user: MonsteraDeliciosa

A Thing For Matching

My mother-in-law is nice and well-meaning, but kind of crazy and unstable. When we were planning the wedding, she was obsessed with having her pantyhose match the tablecloths at the rehearsal. I mean, what? She just kept asking me what color, and I just kept telling her whatever she wanted. Eventually, I just passed it off to my wedding planner.

She also keeps giving me and my husband matching underwear, like Superman boxers for him and Superman bikinis for me. I have told her to please not give me underwear anymore, but she just keeps doing it. I haven’t even told her they’re the wrong size, because I never wear them. I just think it’s really weird she insists on giving me underpants. Reddit user: companionquandries

Recycling Old Gifts

I’m divorced now, but my ex-MIL was a strange bird. For starters, the ex-in-laws liked shopping for gifts months, or even years, in advance, so much so that for the first several holidays with my ex, I received gifts that they’d picked out for his ex-girlfriend. It didn’t go so far as to have her name on the items, but they were very clearly intended for her, and had her favorite colors and motifs all over everything.

I guess they assumed the items were generic enough that I wouldn’t know, and maybe it was my ex’s fault for telling me so much about his ex-girlfriend, but I knew these were leftover gifts from his last relationship. I dutifully and diligently wrote polite thank you notes and then either sold, donated, or gave the items to my ex if he found them useful. Reddit user: [redacted]

Horror Novel

I don’t have a mother-in-law horror story. It’s more like a novel. Honesty I don’t know how my husband turned out sane, or even as intelligent as he is. The woman’s crazy, and a very bad mother. My husband’s siblings all had a record by the time they were 20. She has five children, and four of them have been to jail. She either says it wasn’t their fault, or brags about it like it’s a medal of honor.

When my sister-in-law got dumped by her boyfriend, mommy dearest went to the boyfriend’s mom’s house and tried to kick the door down because he broke up with her daughter. The upside? I haven’t spoken to her in 10 years because, once I had a baby, I couldn’t allow that kind of crazy to be around the family that my husband and I have created together. Reddit user: GirlwitNoName817

Making One Too Many Suggestions

“I think you should be a teacher.” “Here are some pamphlets that I brought for you for teacher’s college.” “You’d be a good teacher, and you’d have holidays to spend time with the kids.” “Why don’t you become a teacher?” These are just some of the things my MIL would tell me on an almost daily basis. I ended up enrolling in a teacher’s college (and not because of her).

“Why would you want to do that? You need to stay home and look after your kids.” She then told my husband not to marry me because I’d leave him, and take our kids overseas. That was 25 years ago. She then told me that I was a bad wife because I didn’t make lunch for my husband every day.

As if all that wasn’t bad enough, she can’t change a light bulb by herself; she won’t let us have any water in the cat bowl because she’s afraid a baby might drown in it; and we have absolutely no privacy when we’re at her house – she just walks on in any time she wants to. Reddit user: Merkinfumble

Overstepping Boundaries

My MIL didn’t like some of the things that were on our wedding registry. She took it upon herself to personally remove them, and put what she wanted us to get instead. Since she changed some of it, nothing on there was stuff I liked by the end. She bought similar items for her son’s birthday, just a couple of months before the wedding.

She didn’t like the couch pillows, so she bought different ones. She hated the throw rug, so bought a different one of those too (that was too big for the space we had in our living room). They had keys to our home, so sometimes I’d buy stuff, only to see it replaced by things they liked more. Weird, right?

My husband said they’d always done things like that, and had always bought him things that were ‘like’ what he asked for on his birthday or at Christmas, but cheaper or a different brand that they liked more. It was completely maddening, and overstepped all the boundaries I wanted to have in my home. Reddit user: [redacted]

Wanting To Be The Rich Grandma

My MIL asked my wife how much money my mother makes. This was not a usual topic of conversation, so my wife made up an arbitrary number of $100K, and told this to my MIL. Well, about a month later, my MIL came back to my wife and said, “There is no way that your mother-in-law can make that much money.”

Apparently, she called my mother’s work and asked if anyone made more than $100K. She claims that my mom’s work told her that no one makes that much money, and it’s supposedly impossible for her to make that much. My mother works at a university as an experienced web developer, so of course there are people there that make more than $100K, and there’s no way someone relayed this information.

After this conversation was about done, she finished by saying that she was glad that my mother didn’t make that much, because she “wanted to be the rich grandma,” and it was her job to spoil the kids. That gets kind of hard when she has no money, and doesn’t even work! This woman must be crazy. Reddit user: skimice11

 The Reorganizing

My husband and I went on holiday. We left his parents our key so they could feed the fish and water the plants. We got back after a long flight and drive home at two in the morning. When we opened the front door, my jaw dropped. Our living room had been totally rearranged. Then I walked through to the kitchen/dining room. There was a new, hideous dining room table.

Then I went to our bedroom. It too had been rearranged. I was livid. So here we were, at 2:00 a.m., rearranging our whole house back to normal. And that wasn’t the worst part. I’m telling the truth when I say that we went on to find that EVERY SINGLE shelf, cupboard and drawer in the house had been changed. It took days for me to put everything back. Reddit user: mrsmarik

Possessive Much?

The worst would have to be when I gave birth to my daughter; I was living with my in-laws at the time, as hubby and I were building our home. Twenty-four hours after giving birth, my mother-in-law says to me, as I was admiring my beautiful new baby girl sleeping, “Don’t look at her, that’s enough! You’re not allowed to look at her!” I knew this woman was nuts, but not to this level.

I was also told not to hold my baby, and that I had bad milk. This woman wanted to take my child for herself. She tried hard to break me, and really give me post-natal depression, but I fought back and came out on top. My daughter and I don’t have much to do with her anymore – we try to see her as little as possible. Reddit user: [redacted]

The Negative Nancy

My MIL was divorced and remarried to another man. Said man had horrible credit, and brought down her score as well. Due to this, they got a divorce, but stayed together. She tried to convince my now husband and I to do the same because, “…there’s no real point in being married.” And not just once, every single time we saw her.

ANY time we have good news, she finds a way to turn it into a lecture. We told her we were pregnant, and she lectured my husband for close to two hours that he had to look into a better job, and that it meant more responsibility. When we did a gender reveal, for her first grandchild I might add, she just kind of shrugged it off.

Her first words when seeing our son were, “Well, there’s no denying he’s (hubby’s).” I walked up on her at a family holiday get together, and she was telling my husband’s cousin about how my father was an alcoholic, and that’s why my parents divorced. There’s more, but thinking about it still grinds my gears. Reddit user: k0t00rf

I Already Bought Your Ticket

My in-laws invited us to go on vacation to visit my husband’s extended family on the other side of the country. We politely declined, telling them that we were planning to visit some really good friends for our vacation that year. My MIL asked if we’d made firm travel plans yet; we said no, and that we were waiting for our tax refund to buy the plane tickets.

Her response was, “Then there’s no reason you can’t go with us, because we’ve already bought your tickets to fly out with us!” She legitimately thought it would be okay for us to change our vacation plans just because they’d purchased our tickets without asking us first. I was absolutely shocked at their audacity. We ended up not going, and did our own thing instead. Reddit user: [redacted]

A Key Problem

My ex-mother-in-law has a problem with locks. She has a firm belief that family should never have to knock, and should be allowed to arrive and walk in uninvited. We don’t believe this, and she’d nag us about it. So, my significant other was at her house one day and accidentally left her keys there. My SO called her mother up, asked about the keys, and arranged for them to be dropped off.

Three days later, the keys arrive. A week after that, we’re sitting playing games when our front door swings open, and her family walks in. It turns out that my mother-in-law had taken my SO’s keys and made copies before giving them back; of course, without letting us know she did it. This woman doesn’t seem to understand what privacy is. Reddit user: [redacted]

Ruining The Wedding

My mother-in-law made our wedding a completely stressful, sad, and disappointing day. She told the wedding coordinator that we’d scrapped several key elements to the ceremony, so they didn’t happen. She stuck her tongue out, put bunny ears on my wife, and generally didn’t cooperate for any of the wedding photos. She talked throughout all the speeches. She was rude to guests who tried to introduce themselves to her.

This all culminated in us having a screaming match the morning after my wedding. My wife didn’t speak to her family for about a year after this happened, and barely has a relationship with them now, especially her mom. Too bad for her, because we’re pretty awesome to hang out with. I wonder what she’ll say when she finds out we’re expecting. Reddit user: infinitemedal

As Delusional As They Come

When my ex-husband was unemployed, which was often and by choice (not mine), my mother-in-law (his own mother) would call every single day. “Is he looking for a job today? Because he needs to be looking for a job.” Meanwhile, she’d continue to enable his childish behavior by paying all of our bills, and never saying anything to him directly.

During our divorce hearing, she said this about my parenting skills during her deposition, “I found evidence that she kept her child in a cage.” The “cage” she’s referring to was a playpen. She was clearly delusional. My favorite is something she told my ex-husband when he was a child. She told him not to go near a praying mantis, because it would spit acid into his eyes. What the heck is wrong with that woman? Reddit user: [redacted]

Questioning Everything

My mother-in-law is constantly questioning everything. She’d call to talk, and it would pretty much be her wanting explanations for everything. Where did I go shopping? Why did I go shopping? What did I buy? Why did I buy that? What did I pay for it? What did we have for dinner? Why did I make that? How long did it take to cook? What was I doing now?

This went on several times a day, every single day. She’d call when she woke up. She’d call before lunch. She called before we went anywhere, and called again when we got home. I’m so glad I got divorced before Skyping and video chat became popular. Could you imagine how bad she’d have been then? Reddit user: theladylucky

 An Inconsistency With Names

My MIL insisted on being called Mrs. [X] while we were dating. As soon as we got engaged, she sat me down at her kitchen table and said, “Now, we can’t have you calling me Mrs. [X] anymore. That’s too formal for family. What do you want to call us?” I answered that I’d be happy to call them by their first names. She replied that, “the mister and I don’t do first names.”

I then responded that I was uncomfortable calling them “mom” and “dad.” Meanwhile, she introduced herself to my siblings and friends by her first name, and never once corrected them. Annoyed by the inconsistency, I called her by her first name. She called my husband and complained that I’d disrespected her. When we sat down to talk it out, what I thought would be an airing of grievances and reconciliation turned into a huge, heated argument.

She finally screamed at me over the phone one day that I needed to “respect the pecking order of the human race!” My husband got involved at one point, and finally asked her what I should call her. She said, “[Husband]’s mother’” or “Hey you!” and hung up. So, “hey you,” it was… until the day I got a divorce. Reddit user: [redacted]

The Attention Lover

Oh, where to start with this woman? She sent a card saying she couldn’t come to our wedding, and then showed up two hours early. She accepted our invitation for dinner at our new house. I stayed up all night prepping and cooking. That night, I got home from work, and found her leaving – just pulling out of the driveway as I pulled in.

After the birth of my first child, I had complications and was very weak. My husband was concerned for me, naturally. Angry at the lack of attention directed at her, she pipes in with, “Well I had a heart attack yesterday.” At her husband’s funeral, she came up to me and said proudly, “Everyone keeps telling me how good I look.” Reddit user: tollmansweet

No More Pictures For Her

I’m a photography junkie, so over the course of six months, I took professional quality pictures of my MIL’s sons and grandsons. I also took one of me, holding my son. I had them printed, then framed and matted. This was part of her Christmas gift two years ago. She pulled them out of the box, and was just like, “Oh. Ok.”

Later on, when we were cleaning up the boxes and paper, I found the one picture with me in it stuffed into a trash bag with other refuse from the evening. I showed it to my husband, and he didn’t know what to say. Needless to say, those are the last pictures she’s ever getting from me. Reddit user: southerngirlproblems

House-Guest Alert

It’s more of an ongoing living nightmare than a story. She moved in with us to downsize and because it made good financial sense, but then blew her nest egg on the HSN channel and cruises. She rearranges all the dishes in the cupboard, dishwasher, and all the food in the cabinets and pantry. But that’s not even half of it.

She answers the house phone and refuses to pass it off. She downloads viruses on the computer. She also burns food all the time, stinking up the house and constantly setting off the smoke alarm. She clips her toenails in the living room. She parks her car in the driveway blocking the garage, so I have to ask her to move every morning. It goes on and on. Reddit user: totallymadeupstory

 Miss-Pronunciation

My MIL is constantly mispronouncing regular, everyday words, and I know it’s petty but it drives me CRAZY, because I happen to be a grammar freak. For example, she says “flustrated” when she means “frustrated.” She says “per se” a lot, but never uses it correctly. She calls real estate agents “realestaters” instead of realtors. She also says “mute point” instead of “moot point.”

If she ever stopped talking, this wouldn’t be so bad. But if she corners you, be prepared to sit there a while and listen to her tell stories that go absolutely nowhere. You’re guaranteed to hear each of these clever mispronunciations at least once. Again, I know it’s super petty, but she’s in her 50s and talks like a child. Reddit user: lowsodiumcrackers

How Dare She?

My best friend’s mother-in-law accused her of “stealing” her son from his high school ex, who she was still friendly with. This wasn’t brought up until they were engaged after 10 years together. She also refused to go to her bridal shower if the bride’s mother was going to be there.

The mother-in-law told them she wanted them to marry in a church, but when they booked a church, she told them that the church was too over-the-top, and that it was ridiculous to pay that much. There was no offer of financial input from the groom’s parents, but there was a substantial amount from bride’s parents, so the invites went out with the bride’s parents names together with the couple’s name.

The mother-in-law called, abusing them, saying they were embarrassing her, and told them to retract the invitations so she could add her name to those that went out to her side of the family – even though she wasn’t contributing to the day! She didn’t end up coming to the wedding, and the couple lived happily ever after! Reddit user: [redacted]

Unstable At Best

I love my husband, but cannot fathom how he ended up so normal coming from my MIL. She’s not specifically crazy, so much as unstable. A few gems include her calling my mother a few weeks before our wedding to express her relief that we’d “no longer be living in sin.” Mind you, she has a boyfriend that she hasn’t married yet.

Less than 10 minutes before we were all supposed to walk down the aisle, she comes rushing back to tell me the toilet paper is out in the lady’s restroom, and then asks me to go fill it. Sorry, MIL, I’m already wearing the big white dress. She recently flagged one of the wedding photos on Facebook as “offensive” because she “never liked how she looked in that photo” – five years after the fact.

She continually insinuates that I’m fancy, and she’s not good enough. She may or may not (I’m not entirely sure) have tried repeatedly to get on disability, without having a real disability. Unless racking up huge credit card bills and demanding her children (one in college, another fresh out of college) pay her bills for her, counts as one. Reddit user: Elizavyeta

More Grandkids

My mother-in-law is obsessed with having grandkids, and is in complete denial that my husband and I aren’t planning on having any children. We’ve told her numerous times throughout the years, but she still hasn’t come to terms with the fact. The last time she visited, she stole one of my birth control pills, hoping that I’d miraculously get pregnant.

Well, I guess she thinks that I wouldn’t notice. And my husband isn’t even her only kid. He’s just the only boy, so his sister’s kids wouldn’t matter when it comes to passing down the family name and stuff. She recently said she’d pay me $30,000 to have a kid. I said raise it to $100,000 and get back to me. Reddit user: [redacted]

Thanksgiving Cooking

My husband is leaving with me. I had already bought a bunch of stuff on sale because she never lets us take leftovers so we are going home and I’ll just make a full Thanksgiving on my own and have leftovers for weeeeeks. Forget her. Reddit user: JustNoThrowaway23

Search Party

Yesterday, my husband, our two kids, and me got back from a family vacation. This vacation was planned, and my mother-in-law knew we were going. We came home to a nightmare. We found out this morning that she reported my husband missing on day two of our two-week vacation. We think it’s because he didn’t reply to her messages the second she sent them, so she decided to take drastic measures.

We’re not in full contact with my mother-in-law, and she’s been upping her crazy in the last few years, especially since we got married. We’re probably somewhere between medium and low contact. She’s also on a pretty strict information diet. We pretty much only tell her things when it’s too late for her to mess them up, or when we have no choice because other family members (or our kids, which has happened a few times) have let slip information that they didn’t realize we were keeping from her.

We’ve talked to the authorities this morning and said that we want it noted wherever possible that she filed a false report. They’ve said they can’t do more than that because technically they “found” my husband because he was missing for over 10 days. But he was on a planned vacation. What. The. Actual. Heck? I just…I just don’t know what to do anymore! Reddit user: [redacted]

Merry Christmas

My first Christmas with my husband, we were invited to his aunt’s house to celebrate with his family. I had never met any of them, since they live pretty far away and we eloped. Two weeks before, my mother-in-law calls my husband to ask him about my allergies, since I have several severe allergies and require at least three epipens on me at all times.

I thought that was really sweet! My husband told her most of my allergies are bug bites, animal dander, and several medications, but a major food allergy I have is shellfish and raw fish. When cooked, I’ll have a reaction to fish that to normal people would be severe but non-lethal. However, when raw I’ll go into anaphylactic shock almost instantly and stop breathing in less than a minute.
There is no fish in my house, ever. I don’t eat at restaurants that serve fish. It’s a major part of my life since I live in a very seafood-heavy area. On Christmas Eve, we were all opening presents and at some point my mother-in-law and husband’s aunt say my gift isn’t under the tree because it’s in the freezer. I’m confused, but that sounds super intriguing.

They bring out a box that’s blue cardboard and unmarked. I open it and nearly scream. It’s a variety pack of frozen fish filets. I literally threw the box out of my lap and my husband RUNS to the kitchen, grabs an epipen and hit me in the thigh. With my allergies, you don’t wait for a reaction to respond, you start immediately.

We’re about 70 miles out of the city, so my husband is already on the phone with 9-1-1 and we run to the car. THANKFULLY I don’t end up reacting badly to it, probably due to the box being frozen and the fish being individually wrapped, but being that far out of a populated area with only three pens can be lethal for me. When the reaction is severe enough, I’ll burn through an epipen in about 10-15 minutes before starting up again, and then I need an IV and an emergency room.

We got to the hospital and other than hives on my hands, I’m fine. I’m monitored for six hours to wait for a delayed reaction and sent home. When we got home, my husband had about a dozen sobbing voicemails from his mom saying WE ruined Christmas with our way over-the-top reaction to a thoughtful gift. She said she had “forgotten” and that we owed them all an apology.

We later found out it was the aunt that asked her sister to inquire about my allergies so she could cook safely for me. My mother-in-law told her I didn’t have any food allergies and suggested the gift. We’ve been no contact for six years. Reddit user: [redacted]

While some of these Mothers-In-Law’ stories were hard to believe, wait until you hear about how crazy these overprotective dads can be. From threatening to use a deadly weapon to slapping a boyfriend over the head, these people share all of the worst and craziest things their overprotective fathers have done…

For parents, and especially dads, it can be very difficult to see your little one grow up, and at some point, parents will need to let go. For some, letting go can be extremely difficult, and what results is an overprotective parent who goes above and beyond to protect their kids from everyone and everything.

It’s great to protect your children from danger, but it’s also important to let them know that things might not always go their way. Understanding consequences is an important part of growing up, and overprotective dads can tend to shield this challenge from their kids, all while trying to be loving. Dads can do some pretty crazy things, and the internet wasn’t shy about sharing them. Read over this list of overprotective dad stories…and see if you can relate.

My Father, the Manager

My father was the general manager of the biggest mall in my native country, and because he was, he gave my stepmother a gift store to manage. I spent most of my school afternoons working in the store with her. From the age of 9 to 17, I went there every day after school….

Every time I left the store to either walk around, get something to eat, or go to the bathroom, all the security guards and maintenance employees would radio him to give live updates of where “Snow White” was headed and what she (I) was doing. Reddit User: Vintage-bunny23

Just Like You Taught Me

When my daughter was only 3 years old, a young boy kissed her full on the lips at her birthday party. After doing so, he exclaimed that he was madly in love with her. I watched in horror as it happened, and I couldn’t get over there in time to correct the situation.

It was just then that my daughter did something shocking….She cocked back and punched the king right in the poor little boy’s mouth. She then came to me and said, “See daddy? Just like you taught me.” I could not find any words. Reddit User: ThePandaChoke

Putting on a Show

My cousin was living with us for a long while, and as the only paternal-like figure that she had in her life, I wanted to scare her boyfriend off as soon as I caught wind that he was coming over to take her on a date. So I devised this plan, then got to work….

I put some sweet tea into empty bottles of Jack Daniels, put my rifle set near my lap, and sat in a rocking chair outside just a few minutes before he came. When he arrived, I started sipping out of the bottle pretty heavily and then asked him if he wanted any, to which he declined. I kicked things up a notch by drinking a third of the bottle without flinching….

The kid nearly peed himself. I looked him straight in the eye and said, “If you even think about touching my cousin in any inappropriate ways, I’ll make sure you’re singing soprano by midnight. You will open doors and pull her chair out for her. You will have her home by 11 pm sharp.”

I also told him, “You know what happens if you don’t. I’ve been drinking, so I won’t feel as bad as I would sober.” I then grabbed another bottle and began to chug. When they came back, she kissed him on the cheek. I came around the house while sharpening a knife to ask how it went, and he immediately began to apologize….My cousin told me that he’d been nervous the entire night and hadn’t touched her. She figured I had something to do with it. Reddit User: OperationJack

Proud Overprotective Dad

I’m an overprotective dad, and I’m quite proud of it. When we moved to a new neighborhood, I was outside in the yard waiting for my daughter to come home from school. She gets off the school bus and is walking towards the house when a boy riding on a bike passes by.

He then asks her, “Hey, who are you?” It was almost instinctive. I blurted out, “No one you need to be talking to. Keep on riding, little man.” They were both 6 years old. She was confused, and I told her I’d explain later my reaction. Reddit User: German Panda

Censoring Everything

I’m a guy, and my father was extremely overprotective; he didn’t want me seeing anything related to “jumping someone’s bones.” Why was that? Because he was a wild child back in the day and did everything imaginable before he ended up  leaving college.

His friends weren’t any better, so he was scared that I would act out like he did…. He wouldn’t let me hang out with girls at home, even if he was there. He wouldn’t let me see “Starship Troopers” because there was an inappropriate scene. I was secretly laughing because I’d already done the deed. Reddit User: Intrebox

Bumper Sticker Mayhem

I’m an overprotective uncle to my sister’s daughter. One day, her boyfriend comes to pick her up for a date when I notice his bumper sticker. It said, “Your little princess is my little (something that rhymes with stamp).” I immediately felt the need to step in and say something….

The next time I saw him, I made a joke about the sticker and asked if he was the one who put it on his car. He laughed it off, and I said that I also bought a bumper sticker. It says: “I got rid of my niece’s boyfriend and put him in a shallow grave.” Reddit User: IQof72

My Stepfather’s Introduction

My stepfather, who was a detective, had this funny ritual every time I would bring a date over to my house. He would dress up in his full (police) uniform, and would certainly make sure that his piece and holster was in full view of whoever he was meeting.

But that wasn’t all that he would end up doing…. Once he realized that things were getting serious with a particular guy I was dating, he would decide to perform background checks on that guy. He also did this to a few of my friends. Reddit User: AthenaBlue22

Unfair and Not Cool

Dads are weird in general, but mine was especially weird. I was a thirty-year-old woman who had a seven-year-old son five years into my marriage, but despite this, my father likes to make “immaculate conception” jokes every time he speaks about my son.

Why is that? Because there was no way that I could have done such a deed…. My brothers, on the other hand, couldn’t share enough details about their “exploits” with dear old dad, and he didn’t mind one bit. He treated them like heroes. I love my dad, but it’s wrong. Reddit User: [redacted]

“What’s a Circ?”

I’m on the receiving of an overprotective father, and I’m telling you, it’s not fun. A few years ago when I was in my first year of medical school, I met a gorgeous blonde who was just a year above me. We hit it off, and soon, I was on my way to meet her family….

Her father, who is a pediatrician, says to come to the hospital while her other family members get ready. I see him, and the guy is more fit than most 20-year-olds. His muscles are bulging from the scrubs, and when he shakes my hand, I nearly lose circulation. We have a polite conversation; then he invites me to see a ‘circ’….

Since I was only in my 3rd month, I had no idea what it was, so I looked at my girlfriend and asked. I quickly found out what it was: a procedure for uncut male babies. My girlfriend laughed as I, a petrified student, helped her father. Reddit User: [redacted]

Not Being Allowed to Date

Back when I was in seventh grade, after a basketball game, my friend and I were walking to the parking lot when two girls suddenly just appeared out of nowhere. They tell me that I’m cute, say they want to know me, and then they ask me for my number.

I wasn’t a very popular person, so I was in shock, while my friend just stood there in disbelief….At that exact moment, my father walks over and tells them, “He’s not allowed to date. And he’s not allowed to give his phone number to strangers.” And that was the end. Reddit User: GeneralKrunch

Making My Presence Known

My wife and I took our daughter to Chuck E. Cheese and let her run around the play area for a little while. She was two years old at the time, and as she was headed down the slide, a little boy sitting on the slide next to her grabbed her arm and pulled it as he was going down. She was panicking and shrieked as she went down. I shouted “HEY” in the loudest growl/scream possible.

My wife said it was like a jet ripping through the air. The entire place went silent. My wife looked at me and said, “Are you kidding me?” My response: “I don’t care if he’s two or twelve; if he hurts my daughter, I’ll deal with it.” Reddit User: 123username123

The People I Babysat For

The stories I could tell about the people I babysat for are pretty unbelievable, and I honestly don’t know why I stayed working there for so long. The children were 9 and 10 years old and lived in a cul-de-sac with a big yard that was shared with the neighbors.

Their parents didn’t want them to play with the other children, so they had to stay inside and read…. They weren’t allowed to watch Nickelodeon, only PBS kids. They weren’t allowed to say the word fart, and they would freak out every time they got a scratch. Reddit User: lampshade_express

Taking His Friend for a Walk

Back when I was like three years old and my older brother was five years old, my father and two of his best friends took us to the public swimming pool during the summer, where they would take turns watching us. And my brother was doing a bit too much.

He was being a handful, something that annoyed one of my dad’s friends….He got really upset, picked up my brother, and got physical with a 5-year-old. My father found out, and he told us to stay with the other friend while my father took the child-beater for a “talk.” Reddit User: scarletwanderlust

Tit for Tat

Last year, even though my test grades were phenomenal, I was having problems with my homework, probably because I procrastinated by watching television and surfing the web. My father, rather than talk to me about my procrastination issues, thought that it would be better to remove the internet and television.

He put parental control on the television, and as they did so, I watched. Then they put net nanny on the computer. I switched the television back and disabled net nanny. Then he unplugged the modem, and I plugged it back. He decided to install a hidden switch that cuts off the internet in the back closet. I disabled it. This goes on and on for weeks. Reddit User: KnightlySir

Chasing Everyone Off

My father was very overprotective and would do some very strange things to keep the boys away. Every time I went to a party as a teenager, he decided that it was a good idea for him to cook dinner for me, and all the meals were filled with garlic. It wasn’t until many years later that I realized what he was doing….

I confronted him, and he said to me, “I wondered when you’d realize” with a smile on his face. I probably smelled like garlic at every single one of my high school parties. That’s when I realized that I wasn’t too bright back then. Reddit User: ladyanneboleyn

A Dad and His Daughter

I work at an anime convention, and we get all kinds of people coming through the doors, including parents and their children. On one of the days of the convention, a father and his daughter walk in together, and the daughter is wearing something rather skimpy.

Like this was something a 14-year-old should not wear, hence why her father was there with her….They walk up to my booth to buy passes, and I notice that while his daughter has a cosplay character’s name, her father’s badge reads, “SHE’S 14, AND I OWN A WEAPON.” Reddit User: [redacted]

Just Letting You Know

My story is a little different; in fact, nothing has really happened yet, but I’m already dreading what my future holds as a father. My daughter is only 9 years, and already, she has a few boys who claim that they “like” her. One day she came home to let me know of another boy’s interest in her, and I told her this….

“Just to let you know, the first boy you bring home, I am going to have to hurt him just to make a point!” My daughter looked at me, and without missing a beat, she said, “Well, I guess I should bring the ugly one home first!” What do I say to that? Reddit User: khart123

My Overprotective Brother

When I was 14 years old, I got involved with a 16-year-old boy who was on the wrestling team. One day, as I usually do with my other friends, I crack a joke at his expense…only to be backhanded and told that he wasn’t someone to insult. I was in complete shock, and I told him that he would regret hurting me….

I took my stuff and left school before it was over, and when I got there, my older brother asked what I was doing home so early. He saw my face, and it was bright red. He gave me an ice pack and told me to start talking. After I told him, I went to my room to cry it out only to come downstairs to find my brother gone….

I was really dreading going to school the next day, but I had to. When I got there, he wasn’t present, and I was very happy about it. A week passed and still no ex. The next school day, he showed up with a broken arm, nose, and stitches in his upper lip.

When he saw me for the first time, the look of fear flashed across his face, and he went in a different direction….My brother denies having anything to do with it. Up to this day, he refuses to tell me what ever happened there. Reddit User: [redacted]

His Plan Backfired

My father is extremely overprotective and did the characteristic “overprotective dad” things to keep the guys away. At one point in our relationship, my fiancé and I used to do long-distance, and on our first anniversary, he came to the state I was living in to visit.

It was the first time he would meet my family….During their first meeting, my dad decided to clean his weapons in front of him, but it backfired. My fiancé just got excited and started asking about it, sparking up a conversation. Reddit User: [redacted]

It Was God Calling

My niece decided to bring her boyfriend over to meet me for the standard “He’s going to hurt you if you mess with me” speech. I’m a large and intimidating guy: 6’7” and 325lbs with a shaved head and tattoos. I try to give it to them in a joke-like manner so that they don’t think I’m a complete maniac, and I guess that’s where I went wrong….

One night at a party, my niece’s boyfriend got really wasted and started berating her, and she came to me in tears. I walk up to him as he’s sitting on a couch with his friends and and he asks, “What’cha gonna do?” I pick him up off the couch and smack his head on the ceiling…. I told him that that sound was God calling him home. He began to cry right then and there, in front of his friends. The relationship didn’t last very long after that. Reddit User: willmel

Stories About My Dad

My dad passed over a decade ago, but it is still fun to share stories about his “overprotective” behavior. I was 16 years old and still “pure” when I had my first serious boyfriend. One day, we were in my room, just talking while sitting on the bed, and my dad must have heard us because he opened the door and said, “You… here… now…” to my boyfriend….

My father, a former drill sergeant and Vietnam veteran by the way, tells my boyfriend to put on his shoes and that they were going to go for a walk. They come back two hours later, and I ask him what he spoke about, and he says that he swore never to tell me.

We end up getting married, and even after my father’s death, he refuses to tell me what they spoke about….I guess that my father is so intimidating that he scares the life out of people, even from the grave. It still makes me smile to this day. Reddit User: offbeatchicken

Retiring from Harming People

I was with my girlfriend for some time, and I knew her mom fairly well. I’d never met her father because he’d been deployed overseas for a while. One day, her mom goes to the airport to pick him up without our knowledge, and we’re left alone at her house.

We were watching Lord of the Rings….They show up two hours later, and because I’d never met him, I turned a ghost white color when I saw him. The first thing he says to me is, “Good, your clothes are still on. I thought I wasn’t done hurting people.” Reddit User: Shawnessy

Looking Out for His Little Sister

My older brother is four years older than I am, so when he graduated from high school, I was just beginning high school. In the middle of freshman year, there was a guy in the sophomore year who would not stop harassing me. He said some highly inappropriate things every time I walked by….

Even his buddies joined in on the fun, going so far as to block me from going down the hall so that the main guy would ask me to go on dates with him. When I would say no repeatedly, he would call me names, so I finally decided to do something about it.

I called my older brother, who went to college a few miles away….He shows up in the middle of the school day a week later, asks who the guy is, then drags him out, taking him behind the cafeteria. They return a few minutes later, and the guy says that he will never bother me again. Reddit User: adiehl90

 “Nice Catch”

I wasn’t a part of this, and I’m very thankful for it. My friend who is a police officer had a daughter who, one evening, brought her “male friend” home to meet her family. As the boy walked in the door, he tossed a small object at the young man and said, “Catch!”

The boy caught it, and when he looked at what it was, he noticed that it was that piece of a cop’s uniform. You know the dangerous one. The father then says, “Nice catch! Be careful; the next one might come a little faster.” Reddit User: Weartux_throwrose

An Application for Permission

My 17-year-old sister was just taken out on her first date, and before it was even allowed to happen, the young man taking her out had to fill out a copy of our dad’s ‘Application for Permission to Date My Daughter.’ When he was done, he shook my dad’s hand and gave it back to him….

After inspecting what rule number nine was, which included a bit about having a shovel and five acres of empty land behind the house, my father then told the two of them, “Be safe and have fun.” I approve of the boyfriend so far. Reddit User: Team_Alex

My Punishment

When my girlfriend became pregnant with my daughter, it was a running joke among my friends that my future daughter was God’s punishment for my many years of being promiscuous. One day, my very own best friend was joking about it, and I’d just about had enough of hearing about it….

I was at a youth soccer game for my nephew when I shouted at my best friend (on the phone), “I don’t care if she turns out to be a circus clown, as long as my daughter doesn’t end up pregnant at 15!” The women near me almost died of shock. Reddit User: [redacted]

My Sister’s Bad Habit

My younger sister had a very bad habit of dating some real idiots, and she often would rush into things, so we’d end up having an introduction to a new guy every couple of months. My father was sporting a mountain man beard for the last couple of years.

I had never seen him clean-shaven until one day….One of her boyfriends was over at our house and just happened to ask my dad why he didn’t have a beard. He responded by saying, “I only shave it when I seriously hurt someone.” Reddit User: turtleracer14

Anything You Can Do…

Back when I was in college, I was in a relationship and visited my then-girlfriend’s family so that we could get the pleasantries out of the way. I met my girlfriend’s dad, and the first thing he says to me is “Anything you do to my daughter, I’ll do to you.”

The message was coming from a 6’6” Army ranger who had an intimidating demeanor….I felt awkward beyond belief, and I’m happy that he didn’t follow through on his threat. I should have responded by saying, “Then I’ll be expecting chocolates on Valentine’s Day.” Reddit User: savageronald

Don’t Play Volleyball

I’m a father, and I’m warning all of you, don’t let your daughters play volleyball; please avoid it at all costs. It’s going to save you a lot of suffering in the years to come. I once had to take my 12-year-old daughter shopping for a new pair of volleyball shorts.

Apparently, the correct size is like shrink-wrap for their nether regions….I kept sending her back to the dressing room to try on larger sizes until she said, “Dad, these are the biggest size they make,” and it was still hugging her in places that it shouldn’t. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Reddit User: ignignokt

Different Shorts

My oldest daughter’s boyfriend went up to her room while everyone was downstairs to change into some shorts because we had some sprinklers going in the backyard. I noticed him going inside, and I called him while he was on his way back outside to talk to him.

I say, “You are an alright kid, but if I ever catch you comin’ out of my daughter’s room with different pants than you went up with…I’d hate to have to do something to you….” I was trying to be funny, but what I said did a number on him. I was brought to task by my wife and daughter, who forced me to go up and say that I was only kidding. Reddit User: grandpachaos

I Hope I’m Guilty

I’ve actually been accused of being the reason why my daughter decided to break up with an old boyfriend of hers. The guy came to me and told me that himself. According to him, I “set an impossibly high standard” for anyone that would want to go out with her.

According to this guy, I was just too much for anyone to try and match up to. I didn’t feel bad when he told me that….In fact, I actually kind of hope that I’m guilty of what he said, and if not, I will attempt to do it even more. Reddit User: Charliekratos

You’re Making Me Uncomfortable

Back when I was 15, my father allowed my boyfriend to come with us on our annual summer vacation. It was me, my brother, my stepmother, and my two stepbrothers. Things were going great, but three days in, he got upset because we were sitting too close to each other on the couch, but we weren’t even touching….

My father drove my boyfriend three hours to take him home, then three hours to come back to our vacation spot. He said that our behavior made everyone uncomfortable, which wasn’t true. When I asked him about it, he grounded me. Reddit User: FragileSerenity

4/20 Drama

My younger sister decided to skip school on 4/20 back when she was in high school, and my dad decided to stay home when he found out what 4/20 was and what it included. My sister was in her male friend’s car when they pulled up to a stop sign fairly close to our home.

Coincidentally, my dad pulled up to the sign at the same time. He gets out of his vehicle, and my sister is shaking in her boots. The guy says he’s got it, and before he could say anything, my dad grabs him out of the car and gives him a shiner right in the face. That’s what you get for taking her out of school. Reddit User: amiragha

My Dad

My father is great, but he went to great lengths to scare any male he saw me with. A little background information: he’s a 6’4” former rugby player who had a black belt and a thick British accent. He also worked at the same university I attended, so things often got awkward….

Every time my father saw me with a guy, he would come over, introduce himself, give him a crushing handshake, then tell them how often he goes to the dojo. If that wasn’t bad enough, he tells them that he just started weapons class. Reddit User: clemontina

Keeping an Eye on Everything

My father, who I loved very much, was definitely a very strange man to say the least. He liked to keep an eye on everything, and when I say everything, I mean it. He had video cameras in every single room of the house to make sure he knew what was going on.

And if that wasn’t enough, he had microphones attached to every one of them….So not only could he see what was happening; he could hear it too. They all fed into a locked computer room which he, and only he, could access by using electronic devices. Reddit User: [redacted]

My Sister the KGB Sleeper Agent

I’m older than my 13-year-old sister, and I don’t think that I will ever need to be protective of her. I still kind of believe that she might be a KGB sleeper agent. There was one time when a boy groped her thigh, right in front of me, the nerve of the guy…

She immediately turned around on him and then she falcon punched him before I could even say anything. It was so quick and impressive. And then someone had to actually come help him because he was choking on his two front teeth. Reddit User: stonkingtat

Doing God’s Work

I was on the receiving end of an overprotective father, but my story is a little bit different than most. I was 17 when I went to pick up a girl I was dating. I decided to wear a pair of jeans with many holes down the middle because I thought that it was very fashionable….

When I arrive, her father opens the door, looks me over, then tells me to wait outside. I was scared when he returned a minute later with a roll of duct tape. He proceeds to tape every single hole in my jeans. He was doing God’s work. Reddit User: letstalkaboutrocks

Visiting My Sister

I’m a protective brother here. My 15-year-old genius sister goes to a boarding school that’s 45 minutes away from where I go to college, so I can visit her fairly often. One day she calls me crying about a boy at school who wouldn’t stop texting her.

He went as far as waiting for her outside of classes, then followed her four days in a row while she was on her running route….I hopped into my car and drove down to her school. She met me in the parking lot and told me that his texts got worse as time went on. It takes a lot for me to lose my temper, but after seeing the names he called her, I went berserk.

After treating her to lunch, I asked her friends if they knew he was, and they showed me….I found him circling around the outside of my sister’s dorm. I introduced myself and told him that if he continues to harass her, we would have a serious issue. She hasn’t heard from him since. Reddit User: [redacted]

A Mother’s Lie

Back when I was in high school, I dated a black girl, and that made me a hipster. When she finally invited me to her home to meet her family, her mother told me, “Her daddy is locked up, but he will be out soon, so make sure you treat his baby girl with respect.” I freaked out, and after bringing it up with her because I was curious as to why he was there, I learned that the mom lied….

He’s never been to jail; in fact, he was in the military overseas. It didn’t make me feel any better. I met him when he returned home two years later, and he was a really nice guy. We dated for four years and broke up when she decided to take a job as an exotic dancer. Reddit User: HelpMeLoseMyFat

My Father’s Strange Behavior

My father wasn’t the most conventional person in the world and, as such, was very funny with my sister. I distinctively remember the Friday afternoon my sister brought home her boyfriend to meet the family. They exchanged pleasantries for a little while.

Then her boyfriend, who seemed like a really nice guy, asked my dad, “What time would you like her back by?” To everyone’s shock and horror, my father responded by saying, “Hmm…. Have her back by Sunday.” 2 days later. Umm, excuse me? Reddit User: Seikho_M

While these overprotective dad stories probably left you speechless, wait until you hear what kinds of things dads have kept secret from their children’s moms. From a child almost losing a toe to allowing the kids to watch R-rated movies, these people share their craziest “don’t tell mom” stories…

In an ideal world, there would be no need for secrets, and both children and parents would share their missteps with one another and have no fear of the possible repercussions. But everyone falls short, and in instances when they do, whether by accident, poor judgment, or choice, it can be difficult to explain.

Maybe you did something that you knew you weren’t supposed to, or maybe you just snuck out and snagged an awesome gift that you don’t want anyone to find out about. You might find yourself saying those famous words: “Don’t tell mom.” In this article, we’ve compiled some of the craziest and funniest stories of people who said just that. From eating inedible items to flushing money down the toilet, some of these people have sworn others to secrecy. You’ll probably be able to relate to at least one of these stories!

Just an Owie

My mother went on a girls’ trip with her friends for two weeks when my brother and I were 5 and 8 years old, respectively. Two hours after we say goodbye at the airport, my brother somehow manages to drop a drawer on his foot, severing his entire little toe in the process….

After rushing him to the hospital, doctors weren’t sure if they could save it, but thankfully, they were able to. When my mother got home, he only had a bandage around his toe, and as far as he knew, he only had an “owie.” My mom never found out until ten years later…. My brother came in for dinner. “Hey, remember when I almost lost my toe while mum was on holiday?” That was one of the most memorable family dinners we’ve ever had. Reddit User: Florentineobest

Bribing Them into Secrecy

This is possibly in line with bad parenting, but I didn’t have much of a choice; I had to keep it a secret. I took my two boys to a monster truck jam and lost the youngest one for approximately 20 minutes. The eldest and I kept calling him, but unbeknownst to us, his phone died….

We then decided to go to the police and there he was, standing with an officer telling him that he lost his family. At that moment, I was very proud that his first thought was to go to someone of authority, but then I was filled with dread about what I’d tell their mom….I had to bribe them not to tell her what happened. This happened back in March, and she still doesn’t know what happened. Reddit User: jokerZwild

Not on School Nights

I remember being 14 or 5 years old when we got our first cable television. I was very exciting, and we all took turns watching it individually as well as together. One night when I had just gotten in bed, my door opens, and it is my father peeking through….

He popped his head into the room and said to me, “We’ve got the adult channels. Never on a school night, and don’t tell your mother.” He closed the door after, and I was left to think about what he just said to me. He’s a great man. Reddit User: D-Angle

An Anxious Feeling

When I was around 11 or 12 years old, my father bought an old 4×4 Toyota Tercel wagon, and although it was an absolute dog of a car, it was surprisingly great for off-roading. My dad decided to take me along for a spin in an abandoned field down in the country.

For about 20 minutes, we were tearing through the forested area, and it was awesome….All of a sudden, I got really anxious and yelled at my dad to stop the car, so he slammed on the brakes, and we came to a screeching halt…5 feet from the edge of a cliff. We stepped out of the vehicle, and the cliff’s drop was about 25 feet.

We got back into the vehicle and drove home in complete silence. It’s been 15 years since that day, and my mother still doesn’t know about this. Anytime my dad and I do something dumb, we reminisce about what could have happened that day. Reddit User: ismynametoolon

Rated R Movies

My father and I always bonded by going to the movies, and we’d often go every time a big movie came out. The car ride to and from the movies,  we’d talk about life, the universe, and the movie we were on our way to see. Just awesome bonding time getting to know each other.

The movie we were about to see was The Matrix, but I was only ten years old at the time, and if you’ve seen the movie, you’ll know that it’s not exactly for kids. When I asked if we could go, my father said no, and it’s the first time he said that to me.

One day when he came home from work, he slipped me something from out of his coat….He whispered, “Don’t tell mom” as he walked away. It turned out to be The Matrix on VHS. I lost count how many times I watched it. Reddit User: RossPeterson

Not Being Able to See

When I was 14 years old, my father and I were driving to the coast with a cement mixer loaded in the back of his truck. It wasn’t loaded properly, and although I was only 14, he let me take the wheel for a little while because the roads were straight for hundreds of miles….

I’d been driving for a while when the rain began to pour hard enough that the wipers couldn’t keep up. I could barely see a thing. The only thing I thought to do was to curl up into a ball as my dad yelled, “WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING? HOLD THE WHEEL!”

My dad reached over and shoved me back against the seat. He then grabbed the wheel and pulled on it hard, swinging it back around to straighten us out. He let me drive for another hundred miles in absolute silence, then he said, “It’s my turn. This is not a 4 or 10 years later story; you don’t tell mother until after I’m dead.” Reddit User: [redacted]

“My Icky”

One day I was at home with my two-year-old daughter while her mother was at work. I was watching television and drinking a beer, but I felt the need to go to the bathroom, so I set it down to go to the bathroom. My daughter, who is extremely smart for her age, knows that she should not touch things that aren’t hers.

But my beer was just too tempting for her to resist….I came back just in time to see her take a big swig of it. She hated the taste and spat it out. I’ll never tell my wife, and to this day, my daughter refers to beer as “my icky.” Reddit User: TooLazyToBeClever

A Deal With My Dad

One night, while my mother was at work, my father and my uncle went out drinking. I heard them come in while I was taking a shower, then all of a sudden, I hear banging on the door. Out of nowhere, my father kicks down the door, and why did he do that?

Just so he could throw up in the toilet…. In his drunken state, he tripped over the toilet and ended up relieving his stomach in the bathtub where I was standing. Because of that, I never got in trouble for coming home drunk as a teen. Reddit User: yagerbomb

You’re Too Young for One

On Christmas Day, when I was about 9 or 10 years old, my dad got me my first real knife despite my mom saying that I was too young for one. I wanted to use it as much as possible, so I’d find anything that needed cutting and use my new toy. I also got some games, so I decided to use it to cut the plastic off….

I sat on my bed while my sister sat next to me watching television. I started to cut off the wrapper, and I don’t know how, but the bed moved, and I ended up jamming my new toy into my leg. I just stared at it while my sister ran to get my father, but I decided to pull it out myself….

Luckily, my mother was out of the house when it happened, so she couldn’t hear my sister screaming at the sight of it. The cut was relatively small, but it was still about 2-3 inches deep. My mom still doesn’t know about it. Reddit User: notthecolemanyouknow

Greg, the Blind Man

My father was one of five boys, all born within the space of 10 years. One day, he and his brother were playing Blind Man’s Bluff with Greg, the middle child, as the Blind Man. My uncle Bruce, the oldest, started throwing insults at Greg to get his attention. He got really upset and charged at Uncle Bruce….

Bruce moved to the side while Greg ran full force into the corner of the house, knocking himself unconscious. Uncle Bruce is freaking out, as he thought that he accidentally killed his brother, but that’s not enough for them to call their parents. Instead, he and another brother pick him up and tuck him into bed, then go back to their game like nothing happened….

When it’s time for dinner to come around, and their mother is asking where Greg is. They end up saying that he just went to take a nap because he wasn’t feeling well. Greg was fine, but I’m amazed that they all lived to adulthood. Reddit User: BlueApple4

Sail Away

When I was a teenager, my father and I went on a two-week trip together to Belize ahead of the rest of our family. We sailed up the coast to Ambergris Cave in a 2-person sailing sea kayak my dad bought a long time ago. For most of the trip, it was smooth sailing…until we got closer to the cave.

There was this huge break in the coral reef for ships to sail in from other countries. My father was navigating the ship like a professional until there was an unbelievably large wave that ended up coming. My dad put some slack on the sail so that the gust of wind would not rock the boat too much; however, he was a bit too slow. As we were thrown out in midair, my father yelled, “DON’T TELL YOUR MOM WE WEREN’T WEARING LIFE-JACKETS!” Reddit User: TresDigitus

Recounting a Story

When I was younger, back in grade school, I got into trouble for something silly; I can’t remember exactly what it was that I got in trouble for, but my mother sent me to my room without any dessert. I spent the night crying in my room and just a few moments later, my father came in and snuck me a piece of cake….

He told me not to tell my mother about it. I ended up telling her a few decades later, while we watched sadly as my father was taken off life support as his vital signs were slowly going down. She loved that story and that he did that. Reddit User: Jujubeez

Discovering the Tooth Fairy

When you have children, there are a few things that every parent has to do. It includes pretending to be Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. It was my turn to be the Tooth Fairy, and I guess I wasn’t careful enough, because my oldest daughter ended up catching me…

She agreed that she wouldn’t tell her mother or ruin it for her little brother. She still gets the money every time she loses a tooth, but I don’t have to go out of my way to be a ninja about it in order to give it to her. Reddit User: londongarbageman

My Wife’s Makeup

One afternoon, while working on the extension of our home, my wife comes home to leave our youngest (6) and her cousin (5) in my care. I left them upstairs, and then I realized that it was too quiet where they were supposed to be playing. Parents would understand the type of silence I’m referring to, so I run upstairs, and they’re not in the room….

I go to the next room and see them sitting in the middle of me and my wife’s bed with all of my wife’s makeup laid around them. They are covered in the stuff, and there was foundation ground into one of my wife’s favorite duvets. I was horrified, but I grabbed a bag of wet wipes and got to work….

After banishing them to the playroom, I put the duvet in the wash. I went back to the girls and said, “Listen, girls, do you want to do a sleepover tonight?” “YES!” they squealed. The only rule was that they never mention the makeup. Reddit User: Merax75

Brothers’ Secrets

When my husband and his brother were about 5 and 6 years old, they decided to do some “cooking.” Because they were so small, they had to use a stool to climb up the pantry to get what they needed. While pulling out everything they needed, they accidentally knocked over a bottle of BBQ sauce on the floor.

The boys cleaned it up as best they could, and that was by pushing all of it under the fridge….A few months go by, and their mom sees a cockroach crawl under the fridge and then decides to clean. She asks the younger brother what the mess is. He tells her, “Brother says that’s a secret. We have lots of secrets.” Reddit User: Kurlysoo

What’s in the Box?

During this one Christmas holiday, my father took my sister and I to the mall to do a bit of shopping. We split up for a little bit, and when we next saw him, he had a big box he was hauling around in a sack. He told us that he’d bought a pair of boots and not to tell my mother….

When we got back to our house, we told her that he didn’t deserve a present. On Christmas day, he told us to open the box, and it turned out to be this big VCR player. He had bought it for us. We felt so bad, but he ended up laughing it off. Reddit User: mamacrocker

Our Monthly Date

This happened to me just last week. My wife and I go on separate “dates” with our children about one day a month, just so we can spend some extra time together with them. On one of those days, I told my wife that we were going to go get dinner and ice cream…

But that’s not what we ended up doing. I brought my 6-year-old son to see the Marvel movie Dr. Strange, and I have absolutely no regrets about it. To this day (albeit it’s only been a short time) he’s still been able to keep it a secret. Reddit User: notTHATwriter

Going Down the Drain

My best friend told me this story. Approximately 5 years ago, his son, who was three years old, just learned how to flush the toilet, and as such, would flush everything. A short backstory is that they played the same lottery numbers every week. The one week when his wife was away visiting her mother, he won $6700 from the lottery….

It was great because they were struggling financially. He left the ticket on the counter, waiting to surprise her when she came back the next day. While he was playing video games, he heard the toilet flush, so he decided to get up to see what it was.

He walked in just in time to see the ticket going down the toilet…The $6700 was gone, and I’d never seen him cry as much as he did that day. He made me promise not to say anything because his wife might have hurt someone if she found out. Reddit User: thisiswhathappened

Defending Myself

Back when I was in the fourth grade, I got into a fight at school during the first period. The other kid and I both ended up getting sent to the principal’s office, and I wound up getting a one-day suspension because I actually gave the other kid a bloody nose.

My father was called by the school, and when he came to get me, he drove me around so we could talk about what happened….He took me for ice cream then to the playground so I could run around for a bit. My mom never found out about that story. Reddit User: Fancy_Pantsu

The Escape Artist

I once let my two-year-old son play on the balcony on his own while I went to wash the dishes. I wasn’t worried because the bars were too small for him to squeeze through, so it was fine, right? Nope…he somehow managed to squeeze himself between the bars.

When I came back, he was standing on the ledge of the balcony two stories above the ground…. I was silently freaking out. I didn’t want to scream and accidentally scare him and make him fall to his death. I got his attention, and he squeezed himself back onto the balcony. Reddit User: G n- DIGESTIVE_ENZYMES

Blaming My Sister

When I was about 14 or 15 years old, I borrowed my mom’s van (without her permission) and drove it to a friend’s party. On my way back, I accidentally hit a mailbox, which left a huge scrape on the driver’s side of the van. I didn’t say anything about it…

I watched as she blamed my older sister for years for the damage to the van. I finally came clean to my mother at my sister’s wedding, and she laughed about it. My sister, on the other hand, was not as amused as my mother. Reddit User: Cappuccino Boy

Making a Stuffed Animal

My friend, who is a mom, told her children that they weren’t going to get any more toys. Every time they asked, she would tell them that they have enough, or that they have to wait for a holiday (Christmas, etc.). When they can’t get through to their mom, they go to their father, who is not as strict as their mom….

One day they come home, and the eldest child rushes into the house to show mom their new toy. She looks at their dad but asks the kid, “Oh, where’d you get that?” Realizing that he isn’t supposed to say anything about the toy, he tries to answer without selling out his dad. He then says, “l made it!” They both got in trouble; the dad for buying the toy and the kid for lying. Reddit User: Svuroo

Getting Our Story Straight

Every time my mother would go out of town for work, my father would tell us, (my sister and me) that it was “make up your vegetables” night. What he meant by that is that it was pizza night, but we had to tell our mother that we ended up eating vegetables while she was out of town.

The only real problem with the deal was that my sister and I didn’t get our story straight when she came back home. She asked us what we ended up having, and we accidentally responded at the same time with different vegetables. Dad was busted. Reddit User: Brantelope

Their Little Secret

My daughter and my spouse, who is not her biological parent, were pretty big movie buffs and usually bonded over watching newly-released flicks. Unbeknownst to me, my partner took her out of school so that they could see the much-anticipated movie, Avengers: Endgame.

They’d been planning their little date for months…. When they were done, they drove back just before the buses leave so she’d be on the bus with the rest of the students. I didn’t find out until a few months later. I pretended to be mad, but I was happy that they got to do it. Reddit User: Scnewdie08

Tipsy and Tipsier

When I was 17 years old, I had to work a Christmas party at a restaurant where there was an open bar. Although I wasn’t supposed to do it while working, for several reasons, I drank quite a bit that night. I was taken home by a co-worker only to find my mother waiting for me.

She said to wait for my dad so he could give me a scolding for coming home in my drunken state….Not too long after, he came home, a little tipsier than I was. He asked me if I drove home, and I said no. He asked if I did anything stupid. I said no. He told me to go to bed. Reddit User: MeanElevator

Saturday Sugar Rush

When I go and run some Saturday errands, I usually decide to take one of my children with me to ease the pressure on their mom of watching the kids. It’s a tradition of ours as well to get a sugary drink and a candy bar that their mother would definitely disapprove of while we’re out.

Before giving it to them, I make sure in the agreement that I mention “it must be all gone” by the time we get home….It’s been our secret for years, and their mom has not yet connected the dots about it. I kind of love that though. Reddit User: LiveShowOneNightOnly

Keep an Eye on Him

Anything that my father does, he gets awfully engrossed in, and doesn’t end up paying attention to anything else he’s doing. When I was an older teen, he and my mother had a date night, and I was charged with babysitting my little brother, who was toddler at the time.

Just as they were about to leave, my father comes into my room, closes the door, and the look on his face tells me that something is wrong….He tells me, “Don’t tell your mother, but I need you to keep a very close eye on your brother.” He had managed to eat a whole pack of Blu-tack (a type of reusable putty) while my dad was supposed to be watching him. Reddit User: GetCapeFly

A Pothole and Some Missing Kids

I have so many “don’t tell mom” stories that I don’t know where to begin. The one that sticks out in my mind is the time my dad left me and my little brother in a sailboat at Pohick Bay Regional in Virginia. At the time, I was eleven-years-old and my brother was six-years-old.

He left to go on another boat with his friends, and at dusk, he got into his car and left. It took him landing in a pothole, some 40 minutes later, to realize that we weren’t in the trailer attached to the vehicle. We couldn’t tell our mom even if we wanted to. Reddit User: bloodguard

Letting Us Pick the Movie

My mother had been dating my stepdad for a couple of months, and since they were pretty serious, she asked him if he could watch us when she had to work an unscheduled shift. He decided to take us to the movies. We went to see the movie Lord of War…

The movie is about a real-life arms dealer and smuggler…. We were way too young to watch it, but he let us see it because we wanted to watch it. She was furious when she accidentally found out six months later, but they’re married now, so he’s good. Reddit User: RustyTrunk

Not Feeling Up to It

When my sibling and I were much younger, our mom had to travel for work for an entire week. It was our father’s responsibility to get us up out of bed so that we’d make it to school on time and in one piece. For the entire week, he didn’t feel like waking up to bring us to school…

So you want to guess what he did? He kept us home from school for that entire week and fed us an absurd amount of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. It still to this day is remembered as one of the greatest weeks of our lives. Reddit User: [redacted]

A 6-Year-Old Secret

Back when my daughter was about 7 years old, she would help me wash my motorcycle, and then I’d take her for a quick ride around the neighborhood. I went at the maximum speed, and when I’d turn around every so often just to see if she was okay, there she was.

She would really love every minute of it….We would up making it into our little secret, and every time I took her for a ride on it, she’d have to change her clothes so that her mom wouldn’t smell like the exhaust from the motorcycle. Reddit User: drinking-beer

Witnessing a Fight

One day, while driving down the street, we saw a group of people standing on the side of the street, and it was clear that two of them were about to fight. My father flipped the vehicle around just in time to see the men come to blows, and it was horrific to watch….

One of the guys got the living daylights beaten out of him, and for all we know, we were just witnesses to his demise. My father turned the car around to our original destination and whispered to us, “Don’t tell your mom about that.” Reddit User: boghasattva

Tips from My Stepdad

My stepfather was an amazing man, but he didn’t always make the smartest choices in life. When I was much younger, he would take me to a bookie joint (a place where gambling and sometimes other illegal activities would take place) every Sunday for about a year.

He would tell my mother that we were going for breakfast and for the newspaper….I picked up a few tricks that paid off several years later. I made a nice chunk of change in the 1980s while betting on college football. I never told my mom about any of it. Reddit User: neorandomizer

Getting a Haircut

One morning, I walked into my four-year-old daughter’s room to find her giving herself a haircut with scissors. She had already cut off quite a bit  of hair when I caught her, and I immediately knew that my wife should not see what she had done to herself.

At the time, my wife was in our room getting ready for a much-anticipated job interview….I told her to hide so that her mother would not have a panic attack before her huge interview. When she got home, she saw it and wasn’t terribly happy about it. Reddit User: warlocktx

Can We Go to Blockbuster?

When I was younger, my father got pulled over for speeding while I was in the car with him. He really didn’t want my mom to find out, so he decided to take me to Blockbuster to go and rent some video games. Just so I was clear on our little arrangement, he reminded me not to tell my mom….

For the next few weeks following his little traffic incident, any time I that wanted a new game to play, I’d ask him if we could go and stop by Blockbuster. I’d add a little wink in just so that he knew I was still keeping his secret. Reddit User: itzpea

A Wonderful Retreat

When my father and I went on a church retreat for men and their sons, the planners failed to tell us two important details: that the campsite was at the bottom of a steep dirt road and that it was going to rain that weekend. As a result, the retreat turned into two days of rain and mud….

There was also that bit where we spent seven hours to get six pickup trucks up the slippery incline. Then we had to get up there ourselves. Everyone before us had failed, but my father and I made it up the hill in about an hour, with the least amount of trouble….It was a complete mess; we spent the next two days living like pigs. Before we went home, we stopped at a car wash station to hose off not only the trucks, but also ourselves. Reddit User: Nifhe

Selling Me Out

It was Halloween, and I was afraid my wife wouldn’t pick up enough candy, so I took our daughter to the store and told her that we could buy all the candy we liked so that way we could eat it all-year-round. I also told her that she had to hide it from my wife until Halloween….

We have a “no lying” rule in our house, so I had to be careful with how I worded it to her. That night when my wife got home, she immediately said, “Daddy, can I please tell Mommy about the candy?” right in front of my wife. I was busted. Reddit User: Pingly

Two Hours Everyday

For almost a year, my mother thought that elementary school ended at 5 o’clock instead of 3 o’clock, which was the actual time. Every day, my father would pick me up at 3 o’clock then take me down to the water’s edge, two miles down to the river crossing, to play in a large park.

We would keep this routine for about two hours almost every single day, and it was a lot of fun….When we were done at the park, we’d end up going back home and do normal family things, like watch movies while my parents fought. Reddit User: AizenShuisuke

A Truck and a Trailer

This only happened two months ago while I was working for my father at his diesel workshop. I was 14 years old, but my father would occasionally let me drive some trucks into and out of the shop by myself. My mother wasn’t very comfortable with the idea, though.

She would get mad at my dad every time she found out that I was allowed to drive….One day, my dad let me move a truck and trailer unit around the yard, and even I was slightly worried. On the way home, he tells me, “I want tea, so don’t tell your mum you drove the truck.” Reddit User: nitaideawhattodo

While some of these stories probably left you in awe, just wait until you hear what kinds of parenting fails people have seen. From feeding infants Mcdonald’s to teaching kids how to steal, these people reveal the worst parenting fails they’ve ever seen…

No parent is perfect. It’s only natural that you’ll make a few subtle mistakes, whether it’s getting your child to school a few minutes late or stopping to get them donuts for breakfast when you’re in a hurry. It’s not ideal, but you mean well and love your kids dearly. But sometimes, these mistakes can be…pretty obvious.

Every once in a while, you’ll witness a parenting fail so bad that it will leave you speechless and make you reconsider ever having kids. Seriously, get off your phone and watch your kids! The fine people of the internet took the time to share the worst parenting fails they’ve ever seen.

You’ll be hugging your children after you see these horror stories. Parenting is tough, but these fails easily take the cake.

Sink or Swim

I worked as a lifeguard at a community pool. This one kid does a cannonball off of the board and immediately begins to sink like a rock. I blow my whistle, jump in, and get him, and once I reach the side of the pool, I ask him if he can swim, to which he smiles broadly and says “Nope!” 

Meanwhile, his mother comes over, and she says, “That was amazing! You’re getting really good!” I inform her that her son cannot use the diving board anymore because he can’t swim, and she throws a HUGE fit, screaming that it’s my job to fish him out. Reddit user: chemgeek33

 Party Parents

Parents who try to continue their pre-kid party life with their babies in tow are annoying. I went to college in the archetypal college town, which means a street dedicated mostly to college bars. My friends and I would do bar crawls and would always end the night at this one particular pub.

On this particular occasion, I’m telling a story where I happen to swear. The couple next to me turns to me and angrily says, “hHy! Watch your mouth lady, there’s a child here.” I felt horrible until I realized they were the ones with a 3-year-old in a college bar at 11:45 at night. Reddit user: YouHadMeAtOthello

 It’s Not Tough Love

Was at a stockshow. Kid was with a sheep in the ring, with her dad on the other side of the fence, telling her she was showing terribly and berating her for not being able to perform how he’d like her to. She was sobbing in tears in front of about 500 people.

And that was just in the building. The show was also being live-streamed all over the country. I tried to help her from across the ring, but she was too distracted by her terrible dad. Reddit user: [redacted]

 Don’t Play With Wood

A mother let her kid play in the stream of wood chips coming out of a wood chipper and yelled at the guy who was cutting down trees because he told the kid to get away from it. She was on her phone the whole time; there could have been nails and stones in that wood.

You could tell the woodchipper was getting frustrated, with a look on his face like “who lets their kid play with a wood chipper?” Reddit user: thehandsomebaron

Daycare Terror

I work at a daycare, so I see a ton of this. Daycare is closed at 6, and one day the parents come in at 6:05 and let their kids run around the daycare, opening up the bean bag chairs and spilling the guts everywhere and pulling stuff off the shelf for half an hour.

 Meanwhile, my boss is obviously closing up and telling the kids to stop. The dad goes, “Let her do what she wants.” Reddit user: fluffyredcat

There’s a Time and Place

Parents bring their kids shopping (I work in retail) and just spend forever asking these tiny kids (most of whom can’t talk yet) “do you want this cereal,” “do you think grandpa will like this for his birthday?” I mean in some cases it’s harmless and can be kind of funny.

But it’s obnoxious when you’re waiting on them, or when parents just let their kids throw animal crackers everywhere. It’s just rude, and they are just raising brats really. Time and place. Reddit user: NutlovingBANDIT

Breaking Free

Saw a woman holding two kids on a leash at Walmart while having a conversation; the toddlers scream “Crisscwoooss!” and run in opposite directions around their mother. The lady is thoroughly wrapped by two toddlers who apparently have the strength of baby bison, and she can’t get free because her arms are tied to her sides.

The two littles then commence a solid high five with each other to commemorate their apparent victory. Reddit user: EsquireKing

Asking the Real Questions

Most know that children are curious creatures, as they should be. They’re still learning about their place in the world, and it’s only natural that they would have questions. I was at Wendy’s, and this little girl is sitting quietly and then asks her mom, “Why is the sky blue?”

The mom almost completely ignores the kid, hangs her head in her hands, and says, “Just shut up and eat your fries.” I tell you, when I have kids, I’m going to answer all their questions. Reddit user: [redacted]

 Kids These Days

I work in video game retail. I think the worst for me wasn’t so much how the kid was acting. The parent was buying a game for her kid. She started complaining to me while buying it about how “this kid has a PS3 and an Xbox and just got a 3DS. He has all the toys. Gosh, what’s the deal? I didn’t have this stuff.”

I just looked at her with the blankest look I could. “You’re the one buying the stuff. You could make the choice for them not to have it if it’s a problem for you.” She seriously didn’t get it. She didn’t even get upset. Reddit user: [redacted]

Let Him Dream

I was at the library when a woman and her two young children showed up; the younger one was in a big stroller, and the slightly bigger one (maybe 4) was sorta hitching a ride between his mom and the stroller. The older kid said, “Weee, I’m on a horse and buggy!”

And the mom angrily yelled, “NO, you’re on a stroller, it’s not a horse and buggy!” I was just thinking, “Wow, if you didn’t bring your kid to the library to expand his imagination, why are you here?” Reddit user: imeuru

Definitely Not on a Roll

I saw a woman at a gas station leave her baby in a stroller on a slope leading into the street as she filled up her gas tank. Thank goodness there was an attendant right there who caught the stroller as it started to roll downhill. Baby would’ve been squished.

Most parents would, you know, just hold the baby or at least check to make sure the stroller brakes were working. Reddit user: ilikecommunitylots

Early Starbucks Run

Are parents aware that if their kid asks for something, they’re allowed to say no? I work in a place that sells coffee. The other day, I saw a man order a smoothie for himself and large coffees for his son and daughter. Large coffees, with tons of sugar and of course caffeine.

The daughter couldn’t have been more than 10, and the son was probably 7. But I couldn’t refuse service. Reddit user: [redacted]

High Hopes…Or Not 

Some parents have very high expectations for their kids. Go to school and become a doctor, lawyer, scientist, whatever. My mother, however, has already been pushing my life plan of “knock up a super rich lady, marry her, and live like a king.” That’s her master idea for how to make me successful.

So it’s like a multi-generational bad parenting scheme. Make bad choices + I don’t even know = profit? Reddit user: scottrot

He Just Wanted a Ticket

I used to work at Chuck E. Cheese, so I’ve seen my share of terrible parents. The worst was a mom who had her kid on one of those child leashes the entire time in the store. She seriously never let go, which caused me to believe she has him on a leash 24/7.

I take a handful of tickets and chuck them everywhere for the kids to grab. The mother yanks on the leash before he can grab any and tells him not to pick up things that have been on the ground. Reddit user: Jesters

Don’t Even Think About It

Some parenting fails are just funny, but this one is dangerous, irresponsible, and should not be allowed under ANY circumstances. My mom and I got out of the car. It’s 90+ degrees outside, and in the parked car next to us is a baby and a 4/5-year-old…without their parents. With the windows up.

Yeah, we called the right people to make sure the kids ended up okay, but sheesh. It was hot for US. Reddit user: inanutshell

Fail after Fail after Fail

I live in the UAE. This country is one giant parenting fail. On any given day, I will see babies sitting in their mother’s lap in the front seat of a car (no seat belt), infants being fed McDonald’s food, toddlers running around shops screaming their ears off while the mother is on the phone, and so on.

Children slapping their nanny while the parents don’t pay any attention, little girls being scolded for doing the same thing their brother is doing (without being scolded)…I could go on for hours. Reddit user: CompanionCone

Username Checks Out

We live in a famously poor neighborhood, and it’s normal to see the teenage mothers out with their babies, talking with friends at 11:00pm or later. Kids are given soda bottles instead of milk and lollipops instead of pacifiers. Last year, I heard one of these mothers yelling at her young son.

She said, “If you don’t share that ice cream with yo sista, I’m gonna womp you like I womp that rat!” Reddit user: CentralHarlem

D-I-S-R-E-S-P-E-C-T

This kid I know sounds like Veruca Salt in the making. I know a mother that lets her son basically walk all over her. He yells at her, swears at her, calls her the B-word to her face, and she always just says yes to him. It is really kinda sad.

“Don’t care how, I want it now!” Imagine him as a teenager! I hope I don’t live nearby at that point. Reddit user: GormyGorm

Fire Hazard

My previous downstairs neighbor was a large family, and the youngest kid was like 6 or 7. Of course, 24/7 he would be running around stomping his feet, screaming at the top of his lungs…the parents never did anything. What really set it off is when he turned on the gas on the stove and then went to bed.

I woke up, smelled the gas, and called the fire department, then grabbed my most important stuff and ran outside. After everything was all over with, about 5:30 am, the mother comes to me yelling at me about calling the fire department. Reddit user: [redacted]

Cruel Punishment

Lived in a condo and came home from work to see a small child no older than 7 crying outside the entrance door. It was extremely cold out. I let her inside, and we walked to her condo and knocked on her door, but no answer. I sat on the stairs with her and called the police. The cops came, and I went down to my condo. After 15 minutes, the police knocked on my door and told me what happened.

The mom was home the entire time. She deliberately wouldn’t buzz her kid in as punishment for forgetting the key code and waking her up with the buzzer. Reddit user: flyingthedonut

Just Say No

My cousin was never told the word “no” growing up; if she didn’t want to do something, she wasn’t made to do it. It started when she was 2 years old and didn’t want soap with her bath. As a child, they would let her interrupt any conversation they were having instead of telling her to wait.

Things like this went on for nearly 20 years. The result is a person who is now in her mid-twenties and doesn’t use soap to bathe. She smells, and we’ve talked to her about it. She’s difficult to have a conversation or really any sort of interaction with because she doesn’t fully understand the concept of no.

This also results in her being unable to hold a job. Even though she has a master’s, she just gets in arguments with her bosses without realizing it and is then let go for unprofessional behavior. Reddit user: infinity_power

Bad Luck Chuck (E.)

I used to work at Chuck E. Cheese, and boy I saw a lot of bad parenting. A lot of people would use Chuck E. Cheese as a free babysitting service (it’s free to get in), and they would actually take naps at the tables and not buy tokens for their kids. This would happen all the time. 

Since I worked the floor and fixed the games, I would often just give these kids some tokens so they could at least play a couple of games. Reddit user: jsavage44

It’s Not a Drill

I was a children’s librarian. There was a small fire, so we were trying to get everyone out of the building. The father ran out without his five-year-old daughter…just left her behind. She was hysterical. When we realized what he had done, we took her hand and started walking her out.

When we finally found her dad outside, she was crying and told him that she left her stuffed animal inside. He grabbed her and ran back inside the building. We kept screaming that it wasn’t just a drill, it was a real freaking fire. Reddit user: pickleeater

Going Over the Edge

I was assisting a commercial river trip in the Grand Canyon, and this one set of parents simply didn’t seem to care what their kids did. Worst instance? The kids were carving their names in rocks at a pristine and protected archaeological site on the river, which was obviously not okay.

I had to regain my composure and tell them to stop in a nice way, then told them why it was really uncool for them to do that. I looked away and they were right back at it, carving away. Reddit user: mauxly

Hard Candy

If you thought kids sucking on pacifiers was controversial, just wait until you hear what I saw. There was this kid sitting with his dad, and the kid just picks up an old lollipop from the ground and starts sucking on it. Dad looks at his son and doesn’t do anything.

Like, germs are one way to get your kid used to being out in the world, but come on dude. Reddit user: Mast3rPooh

Call the Doctor, Dad

My father used to blame any health problems I had on being lazy in order to avoid getting me to a doctor. I mean, he still does, but now I’m old enough to go myself. To avoid sounding like a hypochondriac, I’ll give the last one that happened. I lost hearing in my left ear for a couple of days.

My dad said it’s because I don’t clean out my ears. He also said I was just tired when I was having breathing problems when I was 12. I didn’t get to see a doctor until I got lightheaded and passed out. Reddit user: wellgolly

Drink of Champions (Not)

I used to work at Chick-fil-A. On a number of occasions, I witnessed conversations similar to this. Mother: “What do you want to drink?” Child: “Juice.” Mother: “No. You’ve already had enough juice today. Do you want Sprite or Coke?” Child: “I want juice.” Mother: “Ugh. Just get her a Sprite.”

If you’re going for the sugary option, maybe juice isn’t such a bad idea out of those choices. Reddit user: [redacted]

Conceal, Don’t Steal

My mom has a klepto cousin who trained her kids from a young age to steal. She uses them as decoys sometimes, and other times she lets them take the fall for the stuff she does. She also fosters kids just to take money and have them clean her house.

Trust me, I know it sounds like a scene right out of Shameless. Such a shame that the kids are so tied into this lifestyle from so young. Reddit user: kozmicblues

Accident in Aisle 12

I worked at Toys R Us for three years; I could write a book on parental failures. The best one? It’s Christmas Eve, and I’m in the stockroom cleaning up. This woman barges through the doors and informs me her son has just pooped in the middle of the Barbie aisle.

Before I can register what was just said, the child runs in my stockroom, pulls his pants down, and pees right at my feet. His mom praises him and informs me, “He’s gotta go all the time.” Reddit user: [redacted]

It’s Not Naptime

Every parent needs a break every once in a while, but this is certainly not the way to do it. This couple left their young daughter (couldn’t have been more than 5 years old) in one of our display beds to take a nap while they went around and continued shopping around the store.

I understand that babysitting is expensive, but what if she woke up and they were gone? Not to mention, that’s not her bed! Reddit user: [redacted]

Bad Landing and Parenting

Some woman was busy on the phone as she was getting a shopping cart and put her 2-3-year-old in it. As she was discussing on the phone, instead of going on the little slope to enter the shop, she went straight into the little curb at quite a speed, which threw the kid out of the shopping cart.

He landed straight on his head. I have to say though, it was the most hilarious thing I have ever seen. Reddit user: [redacted]

I Was Just Trying to Help

I was stationed at a small hospital in Germany. One of the NCOs had this beast of a wife and this annoying kid. They come into the lab to pick him up, and the little troll opens up the corrosive cabinet and starts pulling out bottles. I run over there and scold him.

This causes the wife to start screaming at me for yelling at her kid. Her husband came over and locked me up, yelling at me not to correct his kid. I guess his kid doesn’t need eyes or skin. Reddit user: neil3wife

Lifeguards Are Not Babysitters

I was a lifeguard for close to 10 years, and I worked in one of the toughest areas of my city. For 2 summers straight, this kid (say around 6) and his younger brother (around 4) would be waiting for us to open at 9AM and would stay there until closing at 9PM.

They would beg us for scraps of our lunch and dinner. Never once saw signs of parents, however, they had passes for the pool, so I’m assuming there were parents somewhere. Very sad. Reddit user: GoldyStarry

I Just Got Out of Jail!

I used to work in Gamestation, and I had two parents at the counter buying a second-hand PS2. They had a cute little girl with them, maybe 6 years old or so? While they were paying for the console, the little girl was tugging on the father’s coat because she’s picked up some kids game and wants it.

After some persistent tugging, the dad turns to the kid and yells, “I’M JUST OUT THE JAIL CAN I NOT HAVE ANYTHING FOR MYSELF?” and pushes the kid away. I was amazed. Reddit user: Prawnjoe

They Stole My Ball

When I was 7-8-9-ish years old, I was playing soccer alone at the park when this new kid in the neighborhood came with his mother and asked me to play. I said yes, because you know kicking the ball alone can be boring. He said he would like to try to do some longer passes. 

The younger, innocent me was hyped to show him my skills, so we went and did that. That is where it got dirty. The little guy, seeing I was running on the other side of the field, took my ball and started running away with it. He wasn’t that fast, so I did catch up to him.

But that is when his mother stretched her foot out and made me fall right on my face. She then took the ball from her son’s hands, looked at me, and told me, “You are gonna need a new ball, little kid.” Reddit user: hazelmond

Junk Food Junkie

I’ve seen a mother give her young child literally nothing but Poptarts, Oreos, and Little Debbie Snacks (I’m not exaggerating) because “he just won’t eat anything else!” Ok, but who’s the genius who introduced Twinkies and Ding Dongs to him in the first place, ma’am? Does he even have a choice?

He was very small for his age, with no muscle tone. I mean, what else would you expect with a diet like that? Reddit user: slothwisperer

 Wolf Girl

Had a student that grew up in a foster care home with 62 dogs. I was told after CPS intervened that she would bark and crawl like a dog (a middle school-aged child). When I met her, she spoke English but was extremely quiet. When she was upset, she would bark at other students occasionally.

I can’t blame her for being the way that she was, because what other influences did she have to mimic? Reddit user: slunch

A Pot to Pee In

At a coffee shop, I saw a kid tell his mother that he needed to go to the bathroom. His mom told the kid to pee in a flower pot inside of the shop…and he promptly did so while she carried on eating her breakfast as if nothing was wrong.

The worst part is that not only am I sure that she knows where the bathrooms are, but this lady had also just come with her kid from their home…in the building where the coffee shop is! Reddit user: therazorsedge404