People Share The Most Ridiculous Things They’ve Been Asked By A Customer While On The Job

If you’ve ever worked in customer service, you know that a lot of the job revolves around answering questions. Anything is game. From how something works, to how much it costs, to how long it’ll last. If the customer has a question, it’s worth answering. Especially if you want to make your sales numbers, or impress your boss.

But sometimes, the questions you get asked by a customer are so completely out there that you’re not sure how to respond. Sometimes, you’re not even sure what the question has to do with the product or service they’re looking at. The following are stories from customer service workers who share the most ridiculous things that customers have asked them while on the job…

Generic Counts

I’m an EMT and was working in the back of an ambulance on a patient who had super high blood pressure, and desperately needed nitroglycerin to lower it. When we work with high blood pressure, we have to make sure there are certain medications that they aren’t using before we can administer specific things, in case of a potential negative interaction.

“Sir, before I give this medication to you, I need to triple check that you have not taken any ‘male dysfunction’ drugs. If you have taken any and I give you this nitroglycerin, your blood pressure could drop dangerously low.” “I’ve never taken anything like that,” was the reply. I ask if he’s sure. He says yes, so I give him the nitroglycerine.

As I’m telling him to hold it under his tongue so it can dissolve slowly, he says, “Wait, does the generic version count?” Yes, indeed, it most certainly does count. It’s the same exact thing, just without the fancy label or price. Luckily, the nitro hadn’t dissolved yet, and he was fine. Reddit user: CaptFluffBunny

Is That Even Legal?

I work at a higher-end restaurant, and we have this group of regulars that comes in every single day for lunch. They always end up spending a lot of money so, as a courtesy, we reserve a table just for them. There’s a sign, the works. That way, they can just come in, sit down, and enjoy their meal –and we can make a guaranteed great tip.

One day, this group of four ladies sat down at the table that we’d reserved for the regulars. Now, it wasn’t a situation where they needed a specific table, so I was going to politely inform them that the reserved sign was, in fact, real so they’d know next time, and then move the reserved sign to another table.

But, before I could say a word one of them says, “We did see the reserved sign, but we weren’t sure how ‘reserved’ it really was. I mean, it’s not really even legal to reserve a table in a restaurant like this, is it?” Just, what? Yes, ma’am, I’m pretty sure it’s really legal. Reddit user: spookyem

It’s Wireless, Right?

Not really a question, just a situation, but it’s one of those things that sticks with you. One day I got a call that a client’s laptop was dead. Nothing they did would actually get the thing to start up. I asked all the usual questions: was it plugged in? Did they have a warranty? Did they back up their files? Yes, yes, and yes. Okay, so let’s figure this out.

So, I have them bring the laptop into the shop, and check it out. Press the power button, no life. I plug it into an outlet, and it starts charging. That’s a good sign. So, I press the power button again, and it boots up perfectly. Apparently, the client had the charging cord plugged into the laptop, but not the outlet, because she “thought it was wireless”. Reddit user: HouseCravenRaw

It Had Been A While

This wasn’t a customer question, but something my boss asked me. I used to work the counter in parts at Subaru, and my manager was helping a customer – a rare occurrence for him – and he turned to me and asked me, “How many days do we have for a 45 day return?” Fortunately he realized pretty quickly that he’d just asked a really dumb question.

But, that wasn’t the end of it. I’m pretty sure his boss had got on to him for not actively helping customers, so he was chock full of questions he should’ve known about. Another customer came in asking for a specific part, made by Subaru for Subaru. He turned to me and asked, “Do we even carry that?” Clearly it’d been way too long since he’d worked with actual customers. Reddit user: DrBiggsKimble

This Isn’t A Cartoon

I sell paint for a pretty well known brand. One of the few that still has stand-alone stores. One day, this woman comes in looking for paint so she can freshen up her fence, and wants advice. I told her exactly what she needed to do to prep the surface, what kind of primers and paints to use, and about the other tools she’d need.

At this point, I was pretty sure she got it, but then she goes, “Do I need anything to apply the paint?” I told her yes, she needs the brushes and/or rollers we’d just talked about. “Oh, I can’t just splash the paint on the fence?” She was dead serious. Lady, this isn’t Looney Tunes, this is the real world. Reddit user: konnektion

Can’t You Just Give Me More?

I used to work as a bank teller. A lady came up to me and asked to withdraw money. I checked out her account and she was overdrawn, so I let her know that I wouldn’t be able to withdraw any money for her. She immediately got upset, so I had her account checked for fraud. I started going over the individual charges with her, one by one.

She then explained that all those charges were hers and she wasn’t expecting any payments to go through. She was spending money she knew she didn’t have. She then asked me why we couldn’t just give her more money. “You’re a bank, aren’t you? Can’t you just add money to my account when it’s low?” Sorry, ma’am, but that’s not how it works. At all. Reddit user: OMothmanWhereArtThou

It All Disappeared

“But why isn’t there any money in my account? I put $500 in the other day.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard almost exactly this same statement. It’s usually the same handful of customers, too, who just don’t get how money works. It’s almost become a little song-and-dance routine for a few of them, so I’m not sure they’re not just messing with me.

Still, you check the account and see that they did, indeed, put $500 in the other day, but various bills went through and they’ve made multiple purchases since then. So, you go through every single transaction and the customer verifies each one. You get to the end and, “But, why isn’t there any money in my account? I put $500 in the other day. It didn’t just disappear.” Rinse, repeat. Reddit user: [redacted]

What’s Your Name?

It’s not really a ridiculous question, but the reason it’s asked is a little…weird. I have this one customer who comes in all the time and always asks for my name. I was volunteering as cashier at a used book store for the library – not my regular job, but I do it often. He’s an older guy and comes in every week to buy about $10 worth of books, and he pays via credit card.

He’s really nice and chatty, despite being a little sheltered and not entirely there. No big deal, I just had to explain sales tax and the book pricing a couple times before he seemed to get it. I do, though, always have to explain to him how to use the touch screen to complete the transaction, and then how to sign on the touchpad.

This is the part where he asks for my name. So, I give it to him. It’s not an uncommon question. One day he tells me it’s so he can put down my name on the credit card receipt, so that they know to send the money to me. He thought I got the money for the books. I hope no one ever looks at those credit slips. Reddit user: Glissando365

We Talked About This

“Can we open the curtains to make the screen brighter?” This was asked by a lady while pointing at a projector and screen setup – I work with projectors, obviously. She seriously thought that more light in the room would make everything brighter, as if the projection was some sort of moving painting. That’s not how projection works. Not in any way.

Another favorite is, “”This doesn’t look like it does on my computer.” Of course, projecting light looks different from an LED display – especially when you rent the cheapest projector for the biggest screen size. One: we discussed how it works on the phone when you placed your order. Two: we also discussed that a projection screen is not the same thing as a computer screen.  Reddit user: Humanchacha

Why Won’t It Send?

I worked at Kinko’s, and on three separate occasions different people angrily asked me why I returned their faxed document to them. They thought that a fax machine was some kind of Willy Wonka time machine thing that sent their original piece of paper to the recipient. Not sure how they worked that out in their heads, but it sounds like a magical state of mind.

One, in particular, was completely furious. “Why should I bother faxing anything if the dumb machine just spits it back out?” I explained to him that a fax just scans the original and sends a copy to the other person. He didn’t like that. He also didn’t like when it printed out a receipt saying it was successful. “See? They were able to send me their page saying they got a copy.” Ugh.  Reddit user: jchite84

Just Fax It To Me

I used to work in a call center for a large bank, and a customer phoned in while he was actually in one of the branches and said the queue was too big so he wanted me to help him. I asked what his query was and he said the ATM was broken, so he had to withdraw cash with a teller.

I asked how I could possibly help him withdraw cash from the bank over the phone, and he said, “Why can’t you just fax it to me?” Apparently a lot of people out there think fax machines are the Star Trek transporter. I had to inform him that, sadly, that’s not how banking worked yet, and that he was going to have to wait for a teller. Reddit user: kitjen

That’s Not Going To Cost Extra, Is It?

I was the foreman in charge of renovating a large hospital when, one day, the owner changes their mind – yet again – and wants to change the entire plan after we’ve started construction. “You guys can take care of that, right? With no extra cost, hopefully. You’ll honor the quote, right? Oh, and the end date won’t change, will it?”

We sure can’t, Steve (not his real name). Also, no, buddy, we can’t honor the quote for a totally different plan. Those changes are going to cost another $100,000 extra because we need to go buy completely different materials, and figure out what you’re even talking about. Congratulations, you’ve totally blown your own deadline. This is why construction projects never end on time. Reddit user: MongooseOnTheLoose

Don’t Quit Your Day Job

I’m a tow truck driver, so it’s safe to say that I get all kinds of interesting questions when people get into the cab with me. The most common being, “What’s the weirdest call you’ve ever taken?” Sometimes people are rude, though, or even inappropriate – because the cab of a tow truck is the right place for that, isn’t it?

Anyway, I picked up this guy who’d broken down one day and he seemed really smart, but a little out of it. While towing his car to a dealership, he goes, “So, what do you do for a living?” He was serious. He assumed I had another job because I didn’t fit the country bumpkin persona he associated with tow truck drivers. I said, “This. I’m a professional tow truck operator.” Reddit user: LaymanF

To Return Or Not Return

Former library clerk here. Once I checked out several books for a woman and told her the return date before handing her the receipt – which also had the return date. She looked at her friend, then back at me, and said, sounding super shocked, “You mean I have to bring the books back?” I’m going to just assume it was her first time using a library.

Then, at a bookstore I worked for, we changed our return policy from one month to 14 days, and so many customers were angry about it and would rave and rant that “that’s not enough time.” One even said, “How can you expect me to finish a book in two weeks?” We calmly explained that was the point. We aren’t the library. When you buy a book, it’s to keep. Reddit user: twentyfeettall

How’d You Do That?

I used to work in computer sales and repairs. I had a customer come up who was in her early 20s, and say she couldn’t get her laptop to open something. So I take it, and open it and casually ask, “What is it you can’t get open?” I’m expecting her to tell me she can’t open up PDFs, or run some kind of software.

Instead, she looks on in shock as I open the laptop screen and says, “I’ve been trying to get it open for hours. How’d you do that?” Totally dumbfounded, I just shut the laptop and then open it again. She thanked me and left. That was the moment I knew that I didn’t want to stay in IT. I quit not long after. Reddit user: CF1337

Would You Like Sauce On That Salad?

I work at an Italian restaurant and this guy ordered a salad. You know, like normal. When I asked what dressing he wanted, I even showed him where the dressing options were on the menu. Instead, he flips over to pasta sauces and goes, “Sugo (just a traditional red pasta sauce) sounds good. That would be good on it, wouldn’t it? I’ll get that.”

I tried to explain that those were for pasta, not for the Mediterranean salad he’d just ordered. He innocently said, “You’re right. Maybe carbonara, instead.” I don’t get what he didn’t understand. He seemed like a normal, smart guy, but he just couldn’t comprehend the difference between the dressings and sauces. I put the house dressing on his salad. He didn’t say anything about it. Reddit user: SirChiefGood

The Wrong Kind Of Medicine

I work in pharma, and someone called yelling at me to stop selling her son recreational drugs. I think she took the definition ‘drug company’ way too literally. To be clear, that’s “pharma” – as in a pharmaceutical company, not an actual pharmacy. I’m not sure how this person got past the receptionist. To be fair, though, I’d have passed them over to someone else, too.

Anyway, she just didn’t get that we don’t sell drugs to kids. I explained over and over that we’re a prescription drug manufacturer, and then she went on another rant about how despicable it is that we’re trying to call what we make “medicine.” She said, “How can you live with yourself?” Then, she hung up on me. I guess she told me.  Reddit user: cman349

What’s Rice?

I worked at a Mongolian restaurant that served white rice. You know, a staple side in pretty much any Asian restaurant. I had a guest once who honestly didn’t know what rice was when I offered him some. He just didn’t get it. Surely this person had to have had rice before. I mean, I could see if maybe he’d just never made it, but to not know what it is?

I had to explain it as “those little white things”. After what felt like an hour of me trying to figure out if he was just messing with me, he looked totally confused, and I just said never mind. I brought him the rice with his food anyway. He ate it, so I guess maybe he just didn’t realize it had a name? Who knows. Reddit user: _Lumos

I Promise It’s Not Me

Overworked retail worker here. Working in retail, obviously, I get all kinds of insane questions and attitude problems. They’re usually just people demanding to speak with a manager, or questioning every tiny detail of a return policy. The holidays only make the ridiculous questions worse. Why don’t you carry this or that totally different brand? Is this free? You know, nonsense.

My favorite, though, was the one holiday where someone asked me, “Why are you guys making it so difficult to find a car-parking spot this time of year?” I was minding my own business, working in a tiny store in a huge shopping center. I didn’t even know what to say. I get that parking is a pain during the holidays, but I promise that I – personally – am not making it happen. Reddit user: grose98

I Can’t, I’m Allergic

Not a question, but someone once told me they were allergic to air. I used to work in an optician’s office where we’d carry out pressure tests – that less-than-fun machine that puffs air onto the surface of your eye. No one ever loves the pressure test, but it’s a part of routine eye care, so you just have to deal with it.

I had this one customer who was adamant that she couldn’t do the “puff machine.” She told me that it’s because she was allergic to it, and couldn’t have it done. I asked if she was allergic to the machine, and told her that we sanitize it after every use. She goes, “No, I’m allergic to the air that comes out.” She even accused me of not knowing what I was talking about. What a gem. Reddit user: TrainLoaf

Is It Real?

I used to work at a fine jewelry kiosk in a busy mall. Our jewelry included things like gold bracelets, necklaces bonded with sterling silver, sterling silver rings with cubic zirconium gems, gold engagement rings with diamond chips clustered together rather than one large diamond, etc. Okay, maybe “fine jewelry” is a stretch, but they made an effort to make them look like they were fancy.

I had a lot of regulars, and this one woman would come in often and ask “is this real” about every item she was interested in. I explained what “bonded” means, and how we don’t sell diamond rings for $25. I also told her that the sterling silver rings with synthetic gems were certified sterling. I gave her information like this over and over again, day after day, and she’d follow up every explanation with, “Okay, but…is it real?” Reddit user: MedusaExceptWithCats

At Least She Was Polite

I used to work at the deli counter in a grocery store. My coworker, for some reason, got more ridiculous questions than anyone else on the team. We’d compare our “war stories” on almost every shared shift. My favorite one of his was about this lady who just couldn’t count, I guess. The lady walks up to the counter and asks, “The eight-piece chicken – how many pieces are in it?”

“How…how many pieces are in the eight-piece chicken? Um, okay. Well, there are eight pieces in the eight-piece chicken,” he said. “Ok, I’ll have that, please!” To be fair, the lady was awfully polite but, “How many pieces are in the eight-piece chicken,” is still a stupid question. Who knows, though, maybe she was just having an off day. Reddit user: Firekeeper47

Medium Rare

“Can I have my chicken cooked medium rare?” Um, no. No, you can’t. I work at a steakhouse, and you’d be surprised by how often I get asked to cook chicken medium rare. Sometimes it’s just people messing with me, but most of the time they’re dead serious. It’s almost always some dude, too, who’s trying to impress a date.

The date: I’ll have a steak, medium rare. The guy: I’d like the chicken, medium rare, as well, please. Me: I’m sorry sir, but chicken can’t be cooked medium rare. Medium rare chicken is, essentially, raw. Then, more often than not, the date has to explain why you can’t eat chicken medium rare. I guess at least she knows he’s full of it now. Reddit user: augurk14

Totally Useless

When my brother was 15 he worked at Woolworths Supermarket. Once, a woman asked him the quantities of a particular painkiller she could administer to her kids. He said, “The only advice I can give you is to not take medical advice from a 15 year old. Also, the dosage instructions are on the package.” She didn’t like that and stormed off. I mean, he’s not wrong.

Being a good bloke, he got me a job there, too. My favorite story is one girl who came in and asked, “You got any more of that purple stuff?” I ask what she meant by ‘purple stuff.’ “Um, you know, purple.” She winked at me. I told her that I didn’t know what she meant. She told me I was useless and left. Later, my brother told me she was looking for cough medicine to, well, you know. Reddit user: Awaythrewn

No, I’m Not A Customer

I work in a bank – actually not even a bank, it’s more like an “advice centre,” so no cash or anything like that, not that anyone reads the signs on the way inside. Anyway, I had a pair of women come in one day, one blonde and one redhead. The redhead says the blonde is visiting from France and needs to check how much is in her account, and can I please tell her.

I ask if she’s a customer of this bank, thinking maybe she’s a student learning English and has set up an account. That’s a pretty common thing to do. It helps them learn how the currency works. But, she said no, she just wanted me to tell her the balance in her French bank account. I told her I didn’t have access to international banks. Reddit user: ChocolateSporks

What Do You Mean There’s No Childcare?

I work as a flight attendant on a route from London to Miami, in business class. This mum with a toddler and four or five year old immediately spots me and says, “Where’s the crèche?” In case you don’t know, ‘crèche’ is the UK (or British) term used for daycare. I informed her that our airline didn’t offer in-flight childcare.

She was adamant that we should, and continued to pass her children off on the crew for the rest of the flight. Luckily the kids were fairly quiet and well behaved, but I’m not sure why she thought we were also babysitters. To be honest, I’m not sure I know of any airlines that do offer childcare on board. Maybe I should start my own airline… Reddit user: [redacted]

The Combo Guy

I worked at a Wendy’s through high school and part of college. One day, a man in his 50s, wearing a bright magenta suit, walked in and ordered a burger. I asked him, “Do you want a combo, or just the sandwich?” He goes, “What’s a combo?” I explained to him that it was a sandwich with fries and a drink, but somehow he didn’t understand.

He said, “I want fries and a drink, but what’s the combo?” We went back and forth on this for about five minutes. I don’t even remember if he ever got what a combo was, or if he ended up getting it. I do remember, however, that I saw him two weeks later in a different city at my other job. He was wearing the same magenta suit. I just stared at him thinking, “It’s the combo guy.” Reddit user: plasticpiranhas

They Stayed Until 2:00 AM

I worked at a small, fine dining steakhouse in high school. The restaurant closed at 10:00 pm, and one day a table decided to take their sweet time with everything. It was already 12:30 am, and I still had homework to finish and school the next day. One guy at the table says, “Man, I bet you really want us to get out of here, don’t you?”

Ya think? But, I couldn’t tell him that. Instead, I said, “Well, while I do have school in six hours, providing good service means treating every customer as if they’re your first one of the night.” Shot myself in the foot right there. They didn’t leave until almost 2:00 am, and I was late to school the next day. No idea why the manager allowed it. Reddit user: cottonfoot

Free Wi-Fi

When I was in high school, I worked at a Tim Hortons and we were advertising that we’d just put in free Wi-Fi at our location. An old guy at the drive thru asked for a free “weefee”. We asked him again and he repeated himself. “I’d like one of those free weefee’s, please. Your sign said you were giving them away. Can you add one to my order?”

It took us way too long to realize that he didn’t know what Wi-Fi was. He thought it was some sort of free promotional menu item. Maybe not necessarily dumb on his part, but it was really funny and turned into an inside joke at the store. “Would you like a side of ‘weefee’ with that?” It never gets old. Reddit user: ShakeThatBaer

As You Were

Oh boy, I have a good one. While I was stationed in Italy in the Navy, a superior officer in the IT department came to us to ask why our ship’s satcom – satellite communications – was offline. We told him it was a connectivity problem and it’d be up shortly. He then proceeded to ask why we can’t just hardwire it via Ethernet.

Say what? Buddy, isn’t that your job? Of course, him being an E7 (higher pay grade), I think, you can’t just haul off at the mouth and question them. So, holding back laughter, I had to explain to him that you can’t just hook up a satellite to an Ethernet cable, because satellites don’t need the internet to function. He realized what he’d said, his face turned a little red, and he basically told us to carry on. Reddit user: [redacted]

I’m Trying To Help You

This isn’t a question, but definitely a customer who just didn’t “get it.” I used to be a manager at GameStop. A guy calls up and tells me the pre-owned Wii U that he bought for his son stopped working because his son dropped it. I tell him that we can give him another one but, since he didn’t buy the insurance, only if the thing “just stopped working” (wink wink).

He didn’t pick up what I was putting down. No matter how I phrased it, he insisted that his son had broken it. “No, it’s because he dropped it.” I’m trying to do you a solid here, guy, but okay. He came in an hour later and bought a new one at full price. The DM was there with me, so I couldn’t say anything. I basically spelt it out for him, but he didn’t get that I was trying to help him get a free replacement. Reddit user: ravosa

No Discounts For You

I work at a pizza place. A lady called back after having placed an order, and was upset that we didn’t offer coupons. Per our company policy, we’re not supposed to offer discounts or coupons over the phone. While I was applying the ones she’d found to her ticket, she asked “Do you guys want me to spend more money?”

It took a lot of power to not reflexively say, “Yes. That’s literally how businesses work, lady.” Instead I blamed it on the corporation and said they didn’t allow us to offer coupons to cut down on employees doubling and tripling discounts to appease pushy customers. I don’t think that was the answer she was looking to hear, either. Reddit user: [redacted]

That’s Personal Information

I worked at a coffee shop where we sell just two sizes: small and large. I was working the register, ringing up this girl’s order. I asked her what kind of coffee she got, which went fine, but then I asked “Small or large?” She responded with a suspicious, “Why do you need to know?” Seriously? Because one is larger, and costs more.

When I told her as much, she scoffed and grudgingly said, “Do you really think I’m going to trick you or something? That’s such an invasive question.” Invasive, really? I had another lady at a different coffee shop who was very upset that her Starbucks gift card wasn’t valid at our shop, which wasn’t a Starbucks. Reddit user: [redacted]

What Cables?

I worked at the Apple Genius Bar for about five years while I got my undergrad degree, and then the first year of my master’s program. One day, a woman came in with a brand new Apple TV and said, “It’s not working.” She handed me the Apple TV and I placed it on the bar. Okay, no problem, let’s see if we can get it fixed.

Before asking basic troubleshooting questions, I simply wanted to know if she brought her HDMI cord and power cord with her, otherwise I’d have to go get ours to plug it in. I asked, “Did you bring your cables?” She responded with, “What are you talking about? Its wireless.” She thought it literally had no wires, and didn’t plug in the power cable or HDMI. She just expected it to work. Reddit user: uncovered-history

Clear Labels

I work at a diner, and the most ridiculous question I get is, “Is your chicken noodle soup vegan?” Sorry, but no. It has chicken meat in it, which makes it very much not vegan. People ask this on a weekly basis. Then, there was also the guy who ordered four milkshakes: three chocolate, one strawberry. They came in clear cups, and were marked clearly on the lid: CS for chocolate shake, and SS for strawberry shake.

He looked at me and asked, “Which one is the strawberry one?” I gave him the benefit of doubt thinking he may be colorblind. However, the strawberry shake had huge chunks of strawberry in it, and was marked “SS” for strawberry shake. He told me that we really should clearly label drinks on big orders. Yeah, okay. I’ll get right on that. Reddit user: Booner999

What’s Your Emergency?

I’m a 911 emergency operator. One day a lady butt-dialed 911 on her phone. We called the number back, like we’re supposed to, just to make sure she was okay. She was slightly confused that we were calling, but was really apologetic when she realized she’d accidentally called emergency services and was “wasting police time.” Technically, that’s exactly what she was doing.

But, since she had us on the phone, she took the opportunity to ask, “What is the number to 9-1-1 while on a cell phone?” The answer, of course, is 9-1-1. “Oh. Got’cha. That makes sense. You know, sometimes I have dreams that I need to call 9-1-1, but I’m never able to make the call go through. Is that because you guys are dealing with a lot of crime?” Um…what? Reddit user: cobra6987

Where’s The Meat?

I work in the meat department in a grocery store. One afternoon this guy walks up and says, “Where can I find your steaks?” So, I politely say, “If you just look to your left, you’ll see the meat cases, and we can even give yo…” He completely cuts me off mid-sentence. Like, totally brushes me off, and walks away, saying, “Okay, thanks, I’ll do that.”

Ten minutes go by and he’s back. “So, this is where you guys hide the steaks. Let me tell you, buddy, some of the people that work here can’t even tell you where the meat department is.” I, also being the manager on duty, said, “I know what you mean. I tell people where the meat department is all the time, and no one ever believes me.” He didn’t get it. Reddit user: [redacted]

You’re Hiding Them

I used to work at McDonald’s, and when the Chicken Tenders first came out, my location sold out of them within a few days. A customer tried ordering them after the fact, and I told her we’re sold out until the next delivery comes in, and offered a free 4-piece nugget or to supersize her order for free. Apparently that was the wrong thing to do.

She asked how we’re out of Chicken Tenders in an accusatory tone, as if we were hiding them from her. Like, wow, a new item and a limited supply – I wonder how we’re sold out? I told her that if she followed our location on social media, we’d send out an update when we got them back in next week. She didn’t like that either, but she did take the free nuggets.  Reddit user: pr_kitkat

The Grass Is Wet

When I worked in housekeeping, I mainly cleaned porches and decks. One day, a woman who looked like she was just itching to talk to my manager comes up to me and says, “The grass is wet.” This was because the sprinklers were going earlier that morning. Like they do. I essentially said, “So?” But, in a polite way.

She then asked me to dry the grass for her so she wouldn’t get her feet wet. If you guys have seen Guardians of the Galaxy 2, she basically wanted me to reenact the scene where the golden lady is walking on the snow and they roll out the carpet. I was so stunned that I just said it was 30 degrees Celsius out, so it would dry in about 30 minutes. Reddit user: SteventheSteven

That Doesn’t Mean You Should Eat It

I used to work at a natural skincare company, and one of the “selling points” was that all products were made using food-grade ingredients. Obviously, this left us wide open for all kinds of craziness. We’d literally have people trying to eat our products or encouraging their kids to taste things because. “It’s edible right?”

This one lady I’ll never forget. It was my first month on the job and she was looking at a face cleanser. After I finished explaining how it worked, she asked, “But, can I eat it? A friend of mine told me you could eat everything in here.” I said, “Well, technically, yes, it won’t hurt you if you accidentally eat a little bit of it, but it’s not made to be eaten.”

She goes, “Yeah, but I can eat it, right?” “It’s not meant to be eaten,” I replied, “I’m not sure why you’d want to.” She told me that she likes to eat candle wax and sand, and was hoping that she could eat this, too. I’m so sorry, ma’am, but it sounds like you might have pica, and there are people who can help you. Reddit user: [redacted]