People Share The Hilarious Reasons They Noped Out Of A Job

Many jobs come with tasks or responsibilities that you’re not particularly fond of. You might be asked to clean something you’d rather not touch, or that one guy in the cubicle in the corner always smells like he’s just eaten tuna. Have you ever had a job, though, that was so weird or off-putting, that you just said “nope” and never went back?

You might be thinking that it’d have to be a pretty crazy job to just walk out, never to return – and in some cases you’d be right. But it happens more often than you might think. From completely bonkers bosses, to suspect health and safety videos, here are some wild stories from people who share the hilarious – and sometimes totally bizarre – reasons why they “noped” out of a job…

It Wasn’t Just That I Was Being Left Alone

Many years ago I worked at a popular sports bar as a line cook. On my first day they had me train for about two hours with a guy who didn’t speak English. Not a huge deal. It was mostly just observing people in a kitchen, which is fine. I work best when I can actually see a demonstration of what I’m supposed to be doing anyway.

The owner eventually came back and said she was scheduling me to be alone the next day. Already, that’s a little weird. You’re just leaving a brand new line cook in the kitchen all alone for their first shift? Okay. Except that wasn’t even the worst part. The next day was Super Bowl Sunday. Noped out of there so fast – I left right then and there. Reddit user: Feralmedic

I’d Like To Keep My Limbs

There’s only been one job that I’ve completely noped out of. It was a shop that refurbished train suspension hydraulics. 40% of the guys were missing at least part of a finger; the maintenance guy was missing four fingers on one hand and one and a half on the other. Half the guys were simply not sober, and the guy training me stormed out half way through the second day.

I was like, “Yeah, I’m just going to nope out now.” They called me for a few days after that. First, they started by begging me to come back. Next, they left messages saying things like, “We haven’t heard from you, hope you’re well, let us know when you’re coming back to work.” Finally, when they figured it out, they started trying to make me feel like I had broken a contract. They knew I’d quit, too. It’s not like I hadn’t said anything. Reddit user: IamtheBiscuit

But I’ll Sell It To You For…

I once saw a Craigslist ad for a stereo salesman, and thought that might be a great side-gig. I showed up to a warehouse as a whole bunch of dudes got into a minivan. The owner told me to go on a run with them, and see how it is. We’d talk about the job when I got back. Weird, but okay.

Turned out all these guys did was lie and con. They’d go up to strangers and say, “Hey man, my cousin got this stereo but he just got arrested and I don’t need it. It’s worth $500, but I’ll sell it for $200.” Then they’d use pushy tactics to get people to go to the ATM and give them money.

The system was some off-brand one, and I overheard the owner saying that they only cost about $20 each to buy. I noped out of that gig pretty quickly. I also called the police and told them everything I heard. This was back in 2010. Reddit user: GarciaJones

Totally Soul Crushing

It’s not really hilarious, but – one week is all it took me to completely nope out of this crazy job. It was 1985 and a collections agency was looking for an IT guy. It was basically desktop support on some IBM PCs. It took me a week to realize what a soul-crushing place that was and I bolted. Though, in honesty, I think if I’d stayed any longer, they’d have asked me if I was sure I wanted to be there.

They saw how I was reacting to some of the techniques the collectors used. The targets were mostly old people who were encouraged to sell family heirlooms and the like to pay off debts. I didn’t actually have to do any of the debt collecting, but being in that place just felt so wrong. I can’t imagine how it felt to be that old person being told to sell off their memories to clear debt. Reddit user: dramboxf

They Weren’t Who They Said They Were

I was 22 and living in NYC. Young and dumb and had got an interview for a so-called “job” in “finance.” I was invited for the interview to a big fancy hall in a midtown hotel. There had to be a couple hundred people there. Well the lights dim, a projector goes on, and this guy starts talking about money and money management.

Then a single human icon appears on the screen. Then two under the single one. Then three under each of the two. It hit me almost immediately: this is a freakin’ pyramid scheme. I stood up and walked straight out. Turns out they were Primerica – an MLM that sells insurance and other financial “services” – pretending to be Citibank. Thank you, but I’ll pass. Reddit user: [redacted]

She Was The One Who Decided

I went into an office for an interview. They said they had several positions available, and I wanted to do some admin stuff. Well, after the interview they told me to get in a van (not a good start, but I did it) to do the next part of the process. We drove an hour away so I could shadow one of their door-to-door sales people.

They’d ask residents to go into their basements to check their hot water heaters to see if they were eligible to replace them with the water heaters this company made. I felt pretty uncomfortable about this, and was pretty visibly irritated. After just a few hours I’d decided I was done. The worst part was the girl I was shadowing spent half the day reading magazines waiting for people to get home from work.

I tried asking questions about the job, but she got defensive and said, “Well, I decide if you get this job or not.” Yikes. I said, “Yeah I don’t know if I want to do this.” But she kept insisting that it was her who decided if I worked. Clearly she didn’t realize that I meant I didn’t even want the job. Total waste of a day. Reddit user: jojomayer

Why Not Lie?

I took a job that was all graveyard shifts. I was told I’d be made management after six months, and was supposed to be trained by the night shift manager, as he was retiring. Said manager looks at me and says, “You’ve had retail experience before?” I said yes. He goes, “Great, here are the register codes. I’m not supposed to give them to you, but whatever. Also, never call me or you’re fired. Oh, and use the bathroom now, before I go. I won’t be back for two hours.”

The night shift manager was about 30, which I found really strange. How’d he be retiring at 30? After coming back from the bathroom I asked him why he was retiring. He looked me dead in the eye, laughed, and said, “I’m not. They tell everyone that to get people on night shift.” I told him that it wasn’t cool that they lied to me.

He said, “Why not lie? We need people. Do you know how hard it is to get people who’re willing to work overnight?” It was my turn to laugh. I said, “Here’s why.” I proceeded to walk straight out the front door saying, “I quit.” Reddit user: SuperRespond

They Didn’t Mention That At The Interview

Three days after my two-week training at one job, I peaced out. I was supposed to be a seasonal temp worker for a national propane company. The job distribution and training consisted of taking calls during off-hours for people who wanted refills and acting as a messenger service, referring their contact info to their local “store” when they opened the next day. Easy-peasey, right?

When I got out onto the floor, I found I was actually expected to be a dispatcher for drivers and, for reasons unknown, the main point of contact for emergency situations. Things I hadn’t even been briefed on in training. During my first shift I had to field a call from a local police officer who was on site at a propane truck crash.

I got to wake the guy’s district manager in the middle of the night, tell him his driver had been in an accident, the overturned truck was blocking a few lines of the freeway, and the police were trying to get a hold of him. That was just the start. Turns out they were giving that number to customers, as well. I was getting calls from people who should have been calling 911.

I had ZERO interest in being an underpaid, improperly-trained emergency dispatcher. It was the only job I took off on without giving two weeks’ notice. I was nice enough to finish out my shift on the third day, but that was it. Reddit user: [redacted]

I Never Went Back For Any Reason

Mine had to be when I was 18 and worked at Blockbuster. I was helping the manager during the early-morning, pre-opening shift getting new items stocked on the shelves. My mom called me and told me that my dad was having a heart attack. She was panicking while waiting for the ambulance, and somehow upset that she’d had to call me at work. Mom, it’s a heart attack. You always call no matter where I am.

The Blockbuster I worked at was in a strip mall type area behind my cul-de-sac. My house and the Blockbuster were separated by a small alley and a three minute walk, so that’s probably why she was upset about it. Anyway, I told my manager what was happening and asked if I could leave to help my mom while they waited for the ambulance. She said, “Yeah, no.” Excuse me?

I just stood there looking at her thinking she couldn’t be serious. I’d be gone for all of 10 minutes and be right back. She stressed how important it was to get things done that needed to be done, and that I needed to be more dedicated. I took off my name tag, slammed it on the counter and walked out. I never went back for any reason. My dad was in the hospital for a few days, and was fine. Reddit user: UnicornQueenFaye

Too Good To Be True

When I was about 21, I was looking for a summer job to help out with college. I found what seemed to be a great opportunity on Craigslist. It was for a part-time job as a sort of driver. Basically this guy, who lived in Florida, was looking for someone to drive his mom around a few days a week. She lived in Chicago, which is where I lived.

I had a car and didn’t mind driving so this seemed like a pretty sweet gig. We exchanged emails for a few days before he was able to get on a call with me. During this call, he starts bringing up how his mom actually wants to use her car, which he would need to ship up from Florida. Okay, fine. That’s not a big deal at all. No wear and tear on my car.

Then he starts going on about a “money order” and how I will be “reimbursed for shipping the car” in my first check and that’s when I was like, “Nope, sorry. Not falling for that.” I said goodbye and hung up. I learned that day that if a job on Craigslist seems too good to be true, it probably is. Reddit user: -eDgAR-

She Didn’t Want Me To Be Distracted

I was working as a bagger at a grocery store when my boyfriend at the time became hospitalized due to heart problems. It was a little scary, and I was even considering quitting my job just to see him more often. I was still in high school and didn’t really need the income. (I’d gone so far as to ask my mom what she thought about it, and she said it was okay.)

Anyway, I asked the front end manager if I could have permission to have my phone on vibrate, and if I could step into the back room to take a call if something bad happened. Not only did she tell me a flat “no” but she also said that she’d actually be more comfortable if I turned my phone off, and put it in an employee locker so I wouldn’t be distracted. Um, what? Bye, Felicia. I walked out that day. Reddit user: [redacted]

I Laughed My Way Home

I was interviewing for a contract position at a very small game development company. They told me they were looking for someone to help finish up an existing project. I was so, so excited about it. I’d always wanted to get into game development – I’d even gone to school for it. I thought this could be my big break. That is, until they showed me the game.

The game literally looked like it was made in MS Paint. It was as if they’d just hired some random guy off the street and asked them to make some art for them. Granted, it’s a mobile game and sold for the standard $0.99 cents, so maybe that’s not the worst. But the game itself didn’t look remotely engaging. That wasn’t the end for me, though.

I figured it’d be great on a resume and mean extra money. Turns out I was wrong about that, too. It wasn’t until they thought I was on board that they told me that my pay would be a percentage of the sales. Noped right out of that one. Got in my car and laughed my way home. Hard pass. Reddit user: LibertyJorj

Thank You For Your Time

I was pretty well qualified, but between jobs and receiving financial support. You know, unemployment benefits, etc. I’d been laid off when the company I worked for went out of business during the 2008 financial crisis. It was kind of awful, but they were trying to keep the older guys employed – even the ones who weren’t keeping up with the industry trends and best practices. I’d worked in IT.

Anyway, I got an interview with a small IT company, and I was looking forward to earning some money again. But the boss/interviewer was a total jerk. At one point he actually asked me if I “felt guilty” that his tax dollars were paying my unemployment. I politely informed him that he’d have to “pay for me” a bit longer “while I look for a job that’s better than this one. But, thank you so much for your time.” Reddit user: [redacted]

Joke’s On You

I’d just gotten a job at a bakery. It was my first day, so I got there early in the morning to meet everyone. The first thing they have me do is grease up baking trays for the others to fill. I lifted up the first tray and 10 or 15 cockroaches just scattered everywhere from under the tray. I told the guy training me that there were cockroaches, and he just shrugged.

This was all just behind the door to the kitchen; customers were only about 10 feet away. I’m immediately over it. So, I tell the guy that I’m not feeling too well after about an hour of doing that, and I head to the bathroom. When I came out I told him I couldn’t do that job. Trying to be smart, he told me to, “Get a real job, then.” So, I left and got myself a proper job. Also, I called the health department on them. Joke’s on you, buddy. Reddit user: Zielko

I Can’t Work Unless I Have Pants

I had an interview at what I thought was a regular steakhouse in a new town I’d just moved to. The interview went well; it was just before the restaurant opened, so it was pretty empty. Towards the end, a waitress starting her shift walked by wearing basically nothing on the bottom and very little on the top. Turns out what she was “wearing” passed as a uniform.

The manager called like 30 minutes later saying I got the job. I had to politely decline. When he asked me why, I told him it was because my belief system required me to never work in a place where the wait staff doesn’t wear pants. You know, for sanitary reasons. To his credit, he laughed, but there was still no way I was doing that.  Reddit user: LoIIip0p

The Check Was Going To Bounce

Graphic design from home job. I totally nailed the phone interview, and had absolute confidence I could provide this dude what he was asking for. I got the call that the job was mine and the first thing he said was to take a “rather large check” that would be mailed to me and buy my equipment. It was supposed to be from a “special vendor” to engrave a laptop and provide software.

It was a scam. I looked up his business on Google, rather than through the link he sent me. I found the exact same website with dozens of different CEOs. Told him to not send me a check, and that I was no longer interested. The check was going to be fake, and the money I’d be sending to the vendor would end up coming out of my bank account once the check inevitably bounced. Nice try, buddy. Reddit user: fr0z3nf1r3

I’d Rather Be The Grill Master

When I was like 16, I got sucked into one of those things where you run presentations and try to sell vitamins. Only for a couple of months, but it was awful. I’d first applied to make cheese steaks at a local hoagie place (which I really wanted) but, after not hearing back for a couple weeks, I went on to the vitamin thing.

The kicker is that, after not being paid anything for about a dozen shameful vitamin demos, I called the hoagie place back only to be told that they’d misplaced my application, and couldn’t find it after deciding they wanted me onboard. I ditched that vitamin gig immediately and went blissfully into the world of cheese steak cooking for the next few years of high school. By the end of it I was even dubbed the “grill master.” Reddit user: budgybudge

A Different Kind Of Special

Cold calling people about injury claims. “Have you been injured in the past three years?” That kind of thing. The thing that really irked me was that all of the people I called in those 20 minutes were polite, said they’re not interested, and they were just sitting down for dinner. Yup, you read that right. It only took me 20 minutes to nope out.

I realized it was a horrible job and I was in no way cut out for it. I left after those first 20 minutes and just walked out the door without a word. No one ever called me to find out what had happened, either. I guess that sort of thing must happen all the time. In the interview they did say that it took a special kind of person to do the job. Now I know what they mean by “special.” Reddit user: legendofbaggervance

Not For $8.00 An Hour

I went to my orientation at a boot factory. They’re government contracted and use that as their reason to pay minimum wage. I figured I’d work there a while and look for something better. After we do the usual paperwork signing and such, we’re taken as a group onto the factory floor for a tour. It’s hot, it’s crowded, it stinks, and everyone working looks annoyed by our presence. Okay, I guess not everyone loves their job, right? No biggie, I’m sure this won’t be so bad.

Then our guide informs us, in no uncertain terms, that our coworkers quite often give new people bad information to get them in trouble or make them mess up. They’d even be the ones to rat you out after causing you to mess up. Then, we’re told that our foreman is the type to yell for no reason, and ask people if they’re sober in an accusatory fashion.

I took a few moments to think about the job after these last revelations, and finally just said, “Nah.” I walked out of the building without a word to anyone. Forget that, Captain. I’m not putting up with all of that – on top of a job in a place that smelled like that – for $8.00 and some change an hour. Reddit user: Narapoia

You Get Used To It

When I was 16 I had an interview at a local pizza place in a not so great part of town. I was hired on the spot and told to come back the next evening for training. As I was walking out – I’m not exaggerating – two guys came in and robbed the place. The manager gave them the money from the register and they ran out.

I looked at him and was like, “OMG, what just happened? Are we calling the cops?” He just casually looked and said, “Nah, you get used to it”. I never went back. They never called me again, either. I’m pretty sure it was clear when I didn’t show up the next day. I mean, come on, dude. “You get used to it?” What? I just can’t. Reddit user: ob1page

She Got Promoted To Cabbage

I had a job in a salad plant – those bags of salad mix that a lot of restaurants use. I was there for two weeks just coring lettuce in front of a conveyor belt for eight hours a day. Pick up a head of lettuce, slam it down, pull the core, put it down, and on to the next. You talk to your co-workers or you plot the downfall of bad reality TV shows. You know, normal stuff.

One really sweet lady had been there for 10 years. Yup, ten whole years on the lettuce line. She got called into the office and was gone for about half an hour. She came back and said, “I won’t be here tomorrow. I got promoted!” I asked what she’d be doing. “Cabbage!” I wished her well, dropped my lettuce and walked out. I feel bad about not quitting, but I was young.

That was already twenty-eight years ago. Had I stayed with it, I might be up to carrots by now. I sometimes wonder how my life might be different had I stayed there. It’s in those moments that I celebrate every decision I’ve ever made. Reddit user: [redacted]

Part Of The Procedure

I worked at major greeting card store (take a wild guess) to make a few extra bucks on the side. On the first day, I sat through several strange videos. Each of them encouraged me to follow customers through the store and suggest they purchase laser-cut cards. Apparently those were all the rage at the time.

Not really my ideal way to interact with customers, but it was decent money for what the job was. When I came back to the floor for my training, the manager encouraged me to adopt a hand signal so I could discreetly show the cashier that I was responsible for the sale of that particular card.

Then, before I left, the manager asked to frisk me as a part of their policy to reduce employee-based shrinkage, aka theft.  When I said I didn’t think that was entirely appropriate, I was told that a pat-down or a search of purses/book bags was a condition of employment. So, I walked out the door and never went back. Reddit user: MagicJasoni

A 95% Chance

I wanted something part-time when I was at university, so I applied at the local cinema chain, and got an interview. It was one of those high turnover places where an interview was just a courtesy. As in, they don’t even interview you if they’re not hiring you. There was a 95% chance you got a job, and a 5% chance they’d think you were too weird.

When I got there, the guy in the box office radioed to his manager and was told to take me to room 7. We got to room 7 and waited. About 25 minutes passed before the manager started screaming abuse over the radio because we were not in room 2, despite the fact that he’d very clearly said room 7. So off to room 2 we go. All the way to the other side of the building.

The manager starts trying to turn on the charm and I basically say, “If that’s how you treat your employees in front of a job candidate, there’s no way I’m ever working for you.” Then, I asked the box office guy to show me out. I’m sure it made no difference to his behavior, but it saved me a lot of potential abuse. Reddit user: lux_nox_ez

He Was Genuinely Shocked

Many years ago I was managing a fast food restaurant for a local franchise. One day, shortly before lunch, one of my employees got a phone call that their grandmother had been taken to the hospital with a possible heart attack. They lived with their grandmother. From what I understood their parents were not in the picture in any way.

I told him to go to the hospital and I’d find coverage. About 15 minutes later my district manager showed up and asked why I was short-handed. I told him what happened and that the employee was on his way to the hospital. His response was, “What’s he going to do, save her? He’s not a doctor; we have a business to run here.”

That was the last straw for me with that company. It was part of a larger pattern of that general attitude, and I refused to treat the people under me like that. I gave my notice shortly after and moved on to a better job. The funny part was that my DM seemed genuinely shocked. Reddit user: demopat

Tricked Into The Job

I worked at Claire’s one summer. I had originally applied for a basic sales associate spot. Turns out the manager hired another girl at the same time as me for the same job. Instead of letting me be a sales associate, she wanted me to start piercing ears right away, without even knowing how to work the piercing gun. I refused.

A few days later she gives me and the other girl this huge packet of test-like study questions. She says we have to study it and that a woman from corporate will call us to give us the test. I thought this was super weird, and way too involved for a seasonal summer job. So, the lady calls me and asks me if I’m ready to take the management test and I freak out and say that I applied for a sales associate position.

I also told her that my manager gave me copies of the answers to the test, and I didn’t feel comfortable with it at all. Turns out the manager was leaving to manage another store in the mall. I don’t know why she didn’t just advertise that they were looking for a new manager instead of trying to trick us into the job. I told the lady that I quit, and never went back. Reddit user: pixeltune

They’re Usually Home During The Day

I needed a part time job for the summer and saw an ad on Craigslist for a receptionist. So, I called the number on the ad and left a voicemail. I got a call back for an interview and was hired on the spot. It was for Vector Marketing. Just in case you don’t know, Vector Marketing is the company that sells Cutco Knives. They’re actually really good knives, but it’s basically an MLM.

I wasn’t selling knives because I was a “receptionist,” but I was calling people that the “sales team” had added to the call list. It was usually just everyone in their phone list who they hadn’t talked to in years. That’s literally what the “managers” had them do. The person training me said to call the “non-white” names first, because they’re usually home during the day. I quit after the first day. Nope to racism. Reddit user: bebu10

They Weren’t Open Much Longer

I was 19 and had just started work at LubePros, an oil change shop. The manager was a 24-year-old guy who, within the first hour of me working there, bragged about hanging around the trails near a local high school, harassing kids, and stealing their “lunch money.” Really classy. He also said that I needed to be on the lookout for “stuff” when I’m cleaning out cars.

He had a racket where he would steal illegal things from people’s cars and threaten to call the cops if they didn’t let him keep it. Left at the end of my shift, called the corporate number, and quit. There was no way I was working for that creep. I told them everything this guy was doing. Drove by there the next morning and saw him outside being questioned by police. The place closed a few months later. Reddit user: [redacted]

Pound Sand

I was a “sales rep” for a medical supply company in 2004. It was advertised as a position where you’d be filling orders and delivering products to existing customers. When I went to the interview – a group interview – they talked about how this great company had been successful for the last 30 some odd years, and how “some of you lucky candidates will be joining our team and helping to grow our family of customers.”

This ended up being for on-site soliciting of medical gasses (O2, N2O, etc.) and accessories. They were hiring people to go to hospitals, doctor’s offices, clinics, nursing homes, etc., to try and sell their product. Commission only. I feigned an emergency phone call during the break and left. They still called me the next day with an offer. I told them to pound sand as politely as I could manager. Reddit user: ShiftyCoder

Somehow That Equals $15 Per Hour

I applied for an office assistant position when I was 19 that paid $15 an hour. It was a bit farther away than I wanted to go, but I went anyway. The money was good. I showed up at the place and met with a woman who referred to it as an “account manager” job. She then told me I was supposed to meet with the regional manager – at the regional office, another half an hour away.

I went to that interview, too. I’d already made the effort. But, once that interview started, it immediately became apparent that they wanted me to sell Verizon Fios door-to-door in a shady area over an hour away from the initial advertised location, But within a year, I could open my own branch in any city I wanted. Yeah. Whatever.

I stayed for the free lunch they gave me, and then turned down the offer when the guy called. He said they pay all commission, but would pay a $20 daily stipend (which somehow equates to $15 per hour?) to drive to the door-to-door sales job. Nope. Reddit user: FightTheIdiots

I Was Onboard Until I Wasn’t

I was doing line cook jobs in college. I liked to cook, and they can be pretty okay jobs. But, I didn’t want to work in chain restaurants anymore, so I applied at a local burger joint that made burgers from grass fed beef from their family farm. They also used all organic ingredients and were very set on using as many locally sourced ingredients as possible. Pretty cool idea. I was onboard.

I did my shadow on the first day and they said, “We’ll have you on the bun and fryer station in the beginning, then see if we can get you training on the grill.” Okay, sure, sounds about right. At my next shift, I showed up and the kitchen was fully staffed, so the manager on duty – who wasn’t there the previous day – told me I’d be running the register. The only register for the whole restaurant – with no training. I just said no thanks and left. Suddenly, I was no longer onboard. Reddit user: euripidez

He Knew Better

I worked in a dairy barn for all of three hours. I went to an agricultural college and my roommate worked at the dairy farm. He said they needed equipment operators to clean out the barns. I thought, “Yeah, I can do that,” thinking it would be four or five hours in the afternoon. This was during the summer, and I already had an 8 to 5 job – which my roommate knew. This is relevant.

I went to the dairy farm and they showed me the skid steers and where I needed to scrape. After that they showed me the milking parlor and everything else. I asked what time I might be done, they said, “Oh, 1:00 or 2:00 AM.” I said, “Yeah, no thanks.” I called the dairy manager on my way out the door and told him it’s not for me. My roommate still gives me a hard time for making him look bad. Sorry, Calvin, but you knew what the hours were. You knew better. Reddit user: DeanAClemmons

Exposure Isn’t A Valid Currency

“I won’t pay you to design that logo, but when my friends ask who did it I’ll tell them and you’ll get more work that way.” I can’t tell you how many times I hear this on a monthly basis. And that’s as a professional graphics designer who has been operating for years. I’d hate to be an industry newbie. I imagine they feel even more pressure to just do the job.

But, to any newbies out there: DON’T WORK FOR FREE. When someone says they can “trade” or asks if “exposure” works for you, this is what you say: “Nope. Exposure isn’t valid currency in the United States.” You have bills, too, my friend. If they can’t afford to pay you, they need to do it themselves or hit Fiverr. You’ve got to pay to play. Reddit user: byrneeoinm

The Collected Works Of Metallica

I interviewed for an English teaching gig in Japan. Or so I thought. After about 10 minutes of normal questions, they asked how my singing voice was. Strange question. I told them that it was okay, but that I didn’t exactly have a career in opera. I’ve been asked weirder questions on interviews, so I honestly just figured it was an icebreaker.

It turns out the “classes” are calling little kids on the phone and singing English songs with them on speakerphone. LOL. Nope. I mean, hilarious, but no. What was I going to sing to them that would help them learn English? The collected works of Metallica comes to mind, but, somehow, I don’t really think that’s what they’d be looking for. Reddit user: tatsukunwork

I’ll Never Eat Fast Food Again

Back in the 90’s I worked at a fast food restaurant to supplement my military income. All I’m saying is that it was associated with a “king.” I lasted all of 30 minutes. During that time I witnessed an employee puke in the sink used for washing utensils without cleaning it out before it was used again. Utterly disgusting, but the fun didn’t stop there.

Another employee dropped a cooked chicken patty on the nasty floor, picked it up, and put it on a bun to be served. At that point I just walked out the door and never returned. Never ate at another fast food place again as a result. I guess, in a way, something good came of it. If the job had worked out, I’d probably have gained about 20 pounds. Reddit user: [redacted]

I Left After The First Shift

I didn’t even last a full shift. I was a “production operative” at a food factory. 90% of the people didn’t speak English and shouted at me in Polish. That, honestly, wasn’t an issue. I have a little understanding of Polish, and their body language pretty much said it all. They were mostly angry that I was new and had no idea what I was doing.

The problem wasn’t even that I was pushed and shoved. I wasn’t told what the job even was, had no health and safety training, no clue what my shifts were, and no breaks. They had me trying to do physically impossible stuff. I was meant to do two back-to-back shifts, but I just left after the first shift and never even went back to collect a paycheck. I doubt I’d have gotten one, anyway. Reddit user: Days_B

She Went Full Amy’s

I was looking for an occasional part-time job, so I applied at this little catering company that had been around for a while. I showed up for the interview and immediately realized that a rich guy had bought it only two weeks earlier for his wife to have a hobby. They fired everyone and hired friends’ kids to help them out for almost no pay.

I was literally the only one with cooking or hospitality experience. They asked me to help out for a few hours to see if they liked me. We got along okay and there were a couple red flags, but the pay was about 50% higher than the going rate, so we agreed to meet the following Sunday to finish up prep for the week and get everything sorted for my role.

That Sunday, I showed up 15 minutes early and nobody was there. I waited another 45 minutes before I left. I’d only just started, so I didn’t have the boss’s number, but was she sure had mine. She calls the next day, at 8:00 AM, demanding I don’t go to my regular job and get in there to help her out. I told her that wasn’t possible and that I’d been there the day before, like we agreed, but she never showed up.

She completely lost it. “I own this business and was at brunch with my husband. I couldn’t just ‘step away’ to call you. Are you kidding me?” Then she goes full Amy’s Baking Company on me (that really arrogant couple from Kitchen Nightmares that Gordon Ramsay actually walked out on). I told her to shove it. They were closed within three weeks. Reddit user: Disgruntledrep

Soft And Delicate

I once tried to get a job through a job placement agency. Originally, they said they’d get me an IT job, but they got me an assembly line type job instead. Turns out that at the job I’d be surrounded by dangerous machinery that could mangle and/or kill me. Oh, and I’d be working 12 hour shifts and making minimum wage. Not ideal, but I went to orientation.

I noped out after watching a three-hour video on how to not die. Seriously, How to Not Die was the title of the video. They thought they were being funny. Not worth it. I had a very “deep” conversation with my agency rep about how I don’t want to work somewhere with heavy machinery. I’m an IT guy. I’m soft and delicate. I’d absolutely be that ONE workplace fatality. Reddit user: t0ny7

But You Told Me To Go Home

Oh boy, I’ve been waiting to tell this story. I got this job working for a huge delivery company last year and, long story short, I quit before even getting to work. Before going in I’d heard how poorly they treated the workers, but I didn’t expect it to be that bad. When I showed up for the interview the interviewer was late – by a whole hour.

When she finally showed up, she gave everyone a tour of the building. The workers looked like they were about to collapse. It was that hot in there. The entire time we were there, she was screaming at the employees for “not working hard enough,” even though they were moving like machines. Once that was over they told me to go buy work boots and sign a waiver. Then she said to come back next Tuesday for my first day.

When I got there on Tuesday, the first thing she told me was to go home because they hired too many people, and didn’t expect everyone they hired to show up on the day she told us to show up. So again, they said to come in next Tuesday. When I showed up I was told that I wasn’t going to be paid for the day because, according to them, I hadn’t shown up the week before. I left and never went back. Reddit user: Aurora_Vorealis

He Really Thought I’d Say Yes

I was at an interview to be a graphic designer at a very small printing firm. The interview was being conducted by the owner. The owner was one of those easily agitated kinds of guys. You know – a short fuse and a bad temper. A call came in from a customer and he was on the line for about five minutes, just yelling at the customer.

After the call, he offered me the job, but I declined. If he could treat a customer that way, I can imagine how he’d treat employees. The place went out of business not long after that. I don’t know what he was expecting me to say, but it wasn’t that. The jerk just sat there, totally gobsmacked. It was like he really thought I was going to take the job after that display. Yikes. Reddit user: [redacted]