Here’s What People Would Spend Their Money On If They Had Billions

Have you ever thought about what it’d be like to wake up one morning to find out that you’re a billionaire? Maybe you won the lottery, or were left money by a relative. Whatever the reason, imagine all of the incredible things you could do if you suddenly woke up and had a billion dollars – or maybe even a few billion?

Maybe there’d be some “less-than-incredible” and totally ridiculous things you’d do. Maybe buy jet skis for everyone you’ve ever met, or go on a three-year-long trek in search of Bigfoot. If you’ve got more than a few crazy things you’d do with a billion dollars, you’re not alone. Here are the fascinating responses that people gave when asked about what they’d do if they woke up a billionaire…

Home-Cooked Meals On Demand

I’d hire the best full-time, live-in chef money could buy. This is absolutely the first luxury I’d get. Delicious home cooked meals? Not having to decide what to feed my picky toddler? Not having to do the dishes? Sounds like heaven to me. I’d probably also buy a farm and hire people to run it so the chef has the freshest, organic homegrown ingredients available.

I’d also build a home theatre room with the perfect dimensions to have a floor-to-ceiling/wall-to-wall screen, like an IMAX screen at home. I’d also pay whatever fees are required to screen the latest movie releases so I’d never have to endure the annoyance other people cause at the cinema ever again. Oh, and a popcorn machine. Reddit user: DeuceIsWild

The Biggest Hill In Denmark

I’d like to buy a large piece of land and all the dirt I could and be the new owner of the tallest hill in Denmark. The current tallest point in Denmark is 171 meters (384 feet). I’d say making a 200 meter tall natural-looking hill shouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility for a bored billionaire. What do you think?

When I worked as a train assistant in Norway I had the absolute delight of being in the same carriage as a Danish couple starting their journey from Bergen to Oslo. They seemed like a very happy couple in their 40s, maybe 50s. As they sat down and looked at the mountain they were silent for a bit, then the wife turned to the man and went, “Jan, you still think you can just build a mountain on our farm?” That started my obsession with having a hill. Reddit user: RDandersen

Just A Couple Of Things

Call me boring or warped by the world, but the most extravagantly lavish thing I can think of is quitting my job and not finding a new one. With a billion dollars, though, I wouldn’t have to go back to work, and that’s the most extravagant thing I can imagine at this point, as a 25-year-old in the current economy.

After that, I’d just pay off my student loans and my parents’ mortgage. Then, obviously, I’d have to travel the world and do some exploring. Maybe come back with a crazy collection of curiosities that I’d display in my new, modestly opulent mansion in New York City. Finally, I’d become a patron at the Museum of Natural History and request private tours all the time. Okay, maybe I can think of a few “lavish” things. Reddit user: [redacted]

Socks

I’d never wear the same pair of socks twice. Few things are better than that feeling of putting on a new pair of socks for the first time. There’s a store in the UK called Primark that sells five pairs of socks for £2.00. They’re reasonable quality for what you pay, and they feel really good the first time you put them on.

A week of socks is £2.80. A month is £12.00. A year is £150. That’s less than I spend on my phone in two months – all for that new sock feeling. I’m living with negative money, so I’m not going to do it, but I’ve definitely thought about it, and if I suddenly hit it rich, I’m going for it. You’ll never see me in the same pair of socks twice. Reddit user: Lawfer

Iced Milk

I’d go to generic restaurants, and give my waiter or waitress $100 dollars to send a glass of milk with ice in it to a specific table. The $100 dollars would be to keep quiet about who sent the milk. I’d do this several more times to the same table until they got visibly upset, and started begging the waiter to stop.

No waiter in the world would stop sending ice milks, especially after I raise the offer to $500 dollars a trip. If I were a waiter, I’d gladly keep putting glasses of milk with ice in on someone’s table even if they were screaming in my face, if I made $500 bucks each time. So yeah, I’d do ice milk – instant classic. I’d also spend a lot on charity, probably. But, iced milk… Reddit user: [redacted]

The Airship

I’d buy a house blimp, or an airship, or maybe a Zeppelin – whatever you want to call it. I’d go on a North American tour, only descending from the heavens to resupply or sightsee. I’d become a national phenomenon. “Did you hear about the wacky billionaire who’s flying around the world in a blimp?” I might even open up my blimp for public tours. All free, of course, because I’d be a billionaire.

Then, I’d take the wild show on the road, and hit Europe and Asia. If the blimp could make it, I’d go to Australia, too. All the continents. Once I was done seeing the world, I’d finally land my blimp somewhere quiet to retire, and fade into obscurity. One day, I’d become that weird old hermit who lives in a blimp in the woods. Where’s my movie deal? Reddit user: Melaninfever

A Great Business Plan

I love my job, but my employer is the absolute worst. If I had that much money, I’d open the same type of business in front of all of their stores and offer a 50% discount, better service, and would do anything just to put them out of business. Potentially including sending secret shoppers in there on a daily basis, to then give them terrible reviews online.

Once that’s done, I’ll buy a fancy house, cause I’ll be even wealthier after starting a successful business and cornering the market. I’d have all the usual stuff – a swimming pool, tennis court, a jetpack (why not?), and enough fancy cars to make Jay Leno green with envy. Who knows? Maybe we’d become best buds, and start swapping cars like trading cards. Reddit user: [redacted]

I’d Improve My Health

I’ve been struggling with my weight basically all my life. I’ve lost quite a bit, and have finally gotten on the right path moving forward. So, I wouldn’t need or want to spend any money on surgeries or anything like that. But, I would spend it on furthering my success on the path to sustainable health and mental wellbeing.

I’d hire a full-time chef and personal trainer, for starters. The personal trainer’s only job would be to show up and force me to be active every single day. Two hours a day, seven days a week. Then, I’d have the chef there for four or five days a week to cook me balanced meals, and to leave me meal preps for their days off. Reddit user: palmermarc

A Fancy Bunker

My dream is to buy a plot of open land, and dig a deep enough hole that I can put a three-storey doomsday house in there. Very bottom floor would be a furnace/laundry room; it’d have three powerful backup generators – you know, in case of disaster. In the middle of the bottom floor would be a giant fridge that’s self-cooled, mostly by the earth (no idea if that’s even a real thing).

The second floor would be the living area, and the top floor would hold at least eight of my dream cars. The house that I’ve designed would be earthquake-proof, fireproof, and flood-proof. I’d cover it with dirt and place a “dummy house” on top that doubles as an air filter/purifier. All the power would come from wind and solar. I’d also have the best security system money could buy. I’m not paranoid. You are. Reddit user: Gingersnap5322

A World Unlike Any Other

I’d buy my own race track, complete with 10 Jay Leno-sized garages, and an airport for private aircraft. Obviously, there’d be a port for private sea vehicles as well, and a private town to house my employees, and private army. Also, a private space station and launch platform in cooperation with SpaceX, which I’d probably buy outright from Elon Musk. He doesn’t need it, right?

After I’ve taken care of myself and mine, I’d start setting up businesses designed specifically to create money to be used for bettering the world. Set up a real version of the Illuminati, essentially, and focus it on ending poverty/hunger, and fixing the world’s governments. I’d need a think tank consisting of the world’s foremost historians to create a government unlike the world has ever seen, and to keep us all in check to avoid becoming “evil.” Reddit user: Ballistic_Turtle

A Greek Wedding

This may sound cheesy, but I think I’d spend a lot of money on my wedding. I’d cancel all of the plans I have right now, invite all people I want to – no one would be cut out because of the budget. I’d fly everyone to an amazing Greek island my fiancé and I go to every summer. We’d get married on the beach and party all night, Greek style.

After that, I’d give all the guests a free opportunity to try out diving (our passion). Diving there, off the coast of Greece is absolutely wonderful. I’d book a hotel for everyone, have them stay there for a week, and fly them all home again. Just pay for a holiday, party, and diving I think. That’d be incredible. Reddit user: [redacted]

I’d Make The World A Better Place

First, I’d hire an investment manager to ensure my money is growing and building interest. Then, I’d buy up a block of flats, maybe two. I’d do them up and then let them out at below market rates to struggling families in an effort to combat social cleansing, and give them a better shot at life. I’d invest in social and community projects, community centers, libraries, education centers, etc., to try and improve my local area.

I’d set up some science institutes, dedicated to combating climate change, and inventing the means for interstellar travel and off-world colonization. I’d invest in aid projects overseas – not charity work, but actual development of impoverished areas. Those charities would work to create trade schools to teach people valuable, employable skills so that they can get great jobs and provide for their families. Reddit user: DukeInterior

A Lavish Breakfast

If I just woke up a billionaire, I’d probably get a big, lavish, luxurious breakfast with cheesy eggs, thick cuts of bacon, a tower of pancakes, piping hot coffee, extra creamy hollandaise sauce, high-grade pork sausage links, toast slathered with butter, and corn beef hash. Literally every single breakfast item you could think of. And mimosas, too. Maybe some Bloody Marys.

Then I’d invite over all my friends and family to dig in. I’d do that every single day for the rest of my life. Just invite all my favorite people over to have the most lavish, opulent breakfast they’ve ever had. I’d probably need to get some staff to handle it, too. A butler and a few waiters. And, honestly, maybe do it once a month. Every morning might be a bit much. Reddit user: Owlbread

No More Laundry

A personal manager. Someone who had a budget to make sure all the little things got done. The cleaning, shopping, and laundry – I hate laundry with an undying passion. Bills would be paid, the car(s) would be taxed, my affairs would be in order and also, good-bye laundry. I’d get a few other staff, too. A maid, and a chef, etc. My manager can’t do everything by themselves.

Of course, this’d all take place in my mansion overlooking the ocean. Maybe somewhere tropical, like the Bahamas, or just Malibu would be fine. I’d spend all my time reading, riding my jet ski, or cruising around town in one of my many convertibles. My friends and I’d have really expensive salads for lunch all the time. Did I mention I hate laundry? Reddit user: SystemCanNotFail

A Little Help For My Friends

I’d buy two of my best friends, and myself, a car. A brand new Ford RS. We’d each have a different color – I get blue because it’s my favorite color, and they’d get whatever color they liked so long as it isn’t blue. Then we’d do a grand road trip across America, kind of like that new Top Gear show. After that, we’d do Europe and anywhere else we wanted.

I’d also help pay for my other friends’ medical troubles – she has a heart condition – and help her get whatever she needs to live a promising and fulfilling life again. I’d also probably just give out money to a few other friends, just as a way of saying thank you for putting up with me because I’m a handful. I’m not easy to deal with and I know it. But, I appreciate that they do. Reddit user: Comical Disaster

Travel The World

I’d probably buy my own private jet. Nothing too big or fancy. Just something to get me around the world comfortably because that’s what I really want to do. I want to go everywhere possible, see famous sights with my own eyes, do crazy and adventurous stuff instead of just reading about it in magazines, or watching other people travel on TV.

I’d probably not even contact my family during this stage, because I’ll just be busy meeting new people, exploring and trying to find my place in the world. Eventually, I’ll find that perfect-for-me place, buy or build a home, and get in touch with my family again. They’d probably like to know that I’m still alive. I’d invite them to stay all the time. Reddit user: [redacted]

Music Festivals

I’d totally mess with people’s heads. I’d try to keep it secret and buy things that are slightly out of my price range. I’d keep on doing it, trying to make it seem like I’m super impulsive with my spending at first. Then people slowly start to wonder how I can even be impulsive. “Wow, her credit cards must be totally maxed out.”

After I’m done messing with people – probably because they caught on – I’d buy my favorite music festivals and have them follow me around to bring the party wherever I am. EDC (Electric Daisy Carnival), Electric Forest, Coachella – the usual basic white-girl stuff. If I’m going to be rich and have all that money, I want to be able to enjoy it to the fullest. Reddit user: HotelBathroom

Invest, Invest, Invest

I’d invest $100 million so I could live on the returns for the rest of my life and still leave a categorically insane amount of money to my offspring. I’d invest $500 million and redirect those returns to small, local nonprofits that benefit underserved populations like LGBT youths, homeless people, addicts, and/or people with mental illness in rural areas, etc.

Then, I’d use the remainder to give as many working-class and lower-middle class kids in college or technical school scholarship money to cover their living expenses while they learn their trade, or get their degree. Hopefully, then, they’d graduate without student debt hanging over their heads for the rest of their lives. You know, like I have. Ha, ha, ha.  Reddit user: [redacted]

An Underground Tunnel

My brother and I have always joked, since we were kids, about buying houses next to each other and having a large underground tunnel connecting them. In the middle of that tunnel would be a giant man-cave with a swimming pool, bowling alley, and video game arcade. You know, all the stuff every nine-year-old thinks is the best thing ever.

To be honest, I still think it’s the best thing ever, and would love to do it. Whether or not our wives would want to constantly be having to deal with the nutty brother-in-law is another story. My guess would be probably not, but if we’re billionaires, they’d have money to fly off to go shop, or do whatever they like to whisper about when we’re not listening. Reddit user: Raiziell

Lord Of The Rings

I’d find a nice, large plot of land in the Northern United States. Somewhere that has all four seasons. I’d buy a piece of land in a valley, in the middle of a forest, with a river running through it. I’d make sure the fall color is spectacular. I’d meticulously plan and build a large home that blends in with the forest surrounding it.

I’ll call it Rivendell. I’d invite all my friends over, we’d have a few drinks, and re-enact our favorite parts of The Lord of the Rings. Heck, if I had more than just one billion, I might even be able to buy land in other states and build replicas of the other movie sets. We’d go on our own adventure to destroy…I don’t know…some crappy ring I got out of a vending machine? Reddit user: Banzai51

I Have Some Demands

This’d be stupid, but also fun. I’d love to donate to things in exchange for ridiculous demands. Like, donate to a university to build a new building; in exchange, I get to name the building. Then, I’d name it after someone completely irrelevant. Like the “Dr. Stephen T. Colbert Center for Marine Research.” I’d be super rich, so who’d tell me no?

After I’m done with that nonsense, I’d probably start going to restaurants and asking for “off menu” items. “What’s the chef’s special today?” “Um, sorry, sir, but what’s on the menu is all we serve…” “Yeah, okay, but what if I paid both you and the chef $1,000 to make and serve me the absolute best thing you can think of?” I’d be that kind of rich person. They’d want to slap me, but they’d probably do it. Reddit user: DanielLamplugh

Keeping Up With the Joneses

I’d one up my neighbor at every opportunity that presented itself. He’s a very “keeping up with the Joneses” kind of guy and always has to get what his other rich friends get or better. He’s constantly showing off his new toys. He bought a new truck and, instead of washing it in the driveway, he literally pulls it into his front yard to show it off.

It’d be so satisfying to watch him try to keep up with a secret billionaire. Oh, you want to have us over for dinner, and brag about your wine collection; here, let me bring my bottom-shelf $500 bottle of wine that I normally use to brush my teeth with. Nice truck, I just happened to buy a newer, bigger, better one, as well, that I’m going to use to haul a bunch of stuff that is also newer, bigger, and better than what you’ve got. Reddit user: [redacted]

Treasure Hunt

Honestly, I’d buy millions of dollars in gold coins and precious gems. Put all of that in an old chest and bury it somewhere. Finally, I’d go on national TV and let the world know I’ve buried the treasure for them to find. I’d place clues and riddles everywhere, and it’d all start with a puzzle, which could be found on a webpage I’ll have made.

It’ll be like that book from the ‘80’s. The Secret, or something. Not that The Secret, the other one. It was written by this weird dude who hid these boxes everywhere and left clues in his books for people to find them. I’m not even sure what the “prizes” were, or if anyone found them. But, either way, mine would be better. Mine would be gold and jewels. Reddit user: Atear

Jurassic World

A fully mobile, scientifically accurate, robot T-Rex – and I’d ride him everywhere. See the stunning nature of rural Europe; go on the great American road trip; smoke on a Jamaican beach at sunset; and sip vodka with Russian businessmen on a cold winter’s night in central Moscow. All of the crazy things you could think of and more. Just me and the T-Rex.

One day, Rexxy would tell me he wished he could have lived among his own kind. That he longs to truly know where he comes from. I’ll cry, knowing that I betrayed the course of nature. That I betrayed my own principles and didn’t see a friend in need when he was multiple times my size, and right in front of me. Whatever happens though, we’ll have each other. And a crap ton of money. Probably. Reddit user: SleepySasquatch

Race Track

I’d hire Hermann Tilke to design a Formula 1 style race track for me. I’d buy a fairly large amount of land somewhere just outside of Las Vegas. Maybe somewhere between Sloan and Primm, and have it built there. Out near the Mojave Desert. I’d have lots and lots of water stations all around the track. Got to stay hydrated, you know.

Then, I’d lobby to host a second US Grand Prix. I’d have my own personal sports/muscle/supercar garage, and facilities near the track and race on it with my friends whenever we visit Vegas. I’d also have a shorter track on a secluded ranch that I’d buy in Wyoming or Montana, where I’d live full-time. Reddit user: PlushNeedle

All About The Cats

I’d probably buy a really nice house, with all the bells and whistles inside for luxuries. Nothing too crazy in terms of size, since I’m a single guy, and I only have a cat. Still, I’d make it comfortable for both of us, and I’d have a big yard with some nice decorations and gardens, and I’d have a big enclosed area outside for my cat to get some fresh air and relax in.

I’d also hire a top personal trainer to get me into shape, since I’ve always been terrible at keeping on top of that. I’d also hire someone to regularly groom and massage the cat. What else would I be spending the money on? Who knows? Maybe I’d fill my nice house with cats and people who take care of the cats. Instead of a cat lady, I’d be a “cat lad.” Cat dude? Or just sad and lonely, with a lot of cats. Reddit user: UPRC

Taco Boat

I’d buy a taco boat. Its hull would be made of a thick taco shell, and its insides filled with the contents of a taco, and also other regular sized tacos. I’d sail off into the sunset and as my taco boat sank, someone would get a brilliant close-up shot of my hand slowly sinking into the water while clutching a taco. Vaya con dios. That’d make a great meme.

Or, I’d just get a boat painted to look like a taco and then hire some staff to always make sure I had tacos to eat. Everything inside the boat would be taco-themed. Okay, maybe not a boat. More like a yacht – The Taco Yacht. I’d call it Chihuahua and sail the seven seas – wherever those are. I’d probably have a few actual Chihuahuas on board, too, dressed in sailor outfits. Reddit user: [redacted]

Secret Agent Man

I’d start off by creating a fun, weird way to quit my job. Hire a few actors that look like secret agents, and have them burst into the office and tell me, “It’s time.” Then, they’d hand me a confidential folder. After looking at it, I say, “I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this. Assemble the Joint Chiefs.” And walk out, never to be seen again.

I’d become a legend. A myth. A mystery. I’d be talked about in the office for years. Decades even. “Has anyone ever told you about the secret agent we had working here?” They’d talk about how I was such a normal guy. You’d never suspect anything “different” to be going on in my life. And then, one day, I just vanished with a couple of dudes in black suits. Reddit user: zamjet

Who Goes There?

Oh boy, I have a list of things I’m going to do when I’m rich. The most anticipated one: I’ll build a model of the moon, and then install it on a mountain top. Then, on random nights, I will turn it on and it’ll rise, making people think there are two moons. And also wonder why the gravitational field hasn’t changed.

Next on the list is to build a castle with a moat around it, and hire a bunch of private security. The required uniform would consist of plate armor and swords. Very medieval. They’d ride around my property on horseback and say things like, “Who goes there?” and “In the name of the king.” I feel like I’d have an insane turnover rate, but who cares? Someone would stick it out. Reddit user: FunnyPocketBook

A Menagerie

For me, a lathe and a mill, so I can make the vanity/dressing table my fiancé deserves and has always wanted. Also for her, the prettiest, most fabulous chickens she can think of. Probably a possum or two, and their ridiculous diets. An army of goats, a cow. With that sort of money she’d have to have an anteater. They’re her favorite.

You know what? I’d probably just buy a nice truck and trailer, since she’ll be using that coin to pick up new cute pets all the time. Eventually, we’ll probably have a zoo, have to hire staff to help us care for the animals, and open it up to the public for tours. It’d be a great opportunity to teach people about domestic animals. And possums. Reddit user: Beowulf-

The Shiniest

My husband has always dreamed of living in a full-scale replica of the spaceship Firefly. So, that’d be the first thing we’d do. I’d pay to have it designed, built, and furnished with props – or replica props – from the TV show and movie. Then we’d live there like the geeks we are, and die happy that we had the shiniest of shiny things.

We’d probably also do the typical rich person stuff. Travel, eat at fancy restaurants, go to movie premieres, and spoil our loved ones. But, most of the money would be spent on sci-fi stuff, and going to conventions. We’d probably also spend a lot on having really high-end costumes made for every convention we go to. Oh, and can you imagine the haunted houses we could have on our replica Firefly home? Reddit user: mriniaesb

A Member Of Staff For Every Task

Staff – the absolute first thing I’d do is hire a huge staff to handle literally every aspect of my life for me. I’d pay them very well to do all the things I don’t want to do. Drivers, cleaners, maintenance, personal assistants, chefs, groundskeepers, accountants, etc. You name the chore; I’ve got someone on-staff who’s handling it for me.

So lavish, but so freeing. Literally buying more time for myself to do the things I love. I’d travel, invest in new hobbies, maybe even find some time to read for once. Eventually, I’d probably get bored, so I might start a company that sells something kind of ridiculous. Cuckoo Clocks, or something that no one really makes anymore. Maybe Maypoles. Something totally out of the blue. Reddit user: Powerfuldot

For Mother Earth

First, I’d invest in companies that turn garbage and plastic into reusable material or energy. Then, I’d create an educational program that takes volunteers out to the ocean or into the mountains and on the rivers to clean up all the trash, while having a fun educational experience at the same time. Half the day they’d go snorkeling, horseback riding, or tubing.

A plant-based meal from the sustainable farm I’ll buy will be provided to educate on the destruction of our current agricultural system, while providing proof that healthy eating is possible and delicious. Boom. Set that doomsday clock back an hour or two. We’ve got a spiritual awakening on our hands. At the very least a few people who’re more aware of the Earth around them. Reddit user: Brightlight247

Kickstart Some Kickstarters

First, become a Kickstarter Cryptid, and start giving maximum donations to any project I’m remotely interested in at all. I’d tell no one about it, and let the news media wonder who this mysterious benefactor is. I’d sit on my hoard of random vaguely cool things like some kind of weird Silicon Valley dork-dragon, and love every last second of it.

Alternately, I’d buy an unused underground silo/bunker complex, and build a nice five bedroom house over the entrance. Something real, real big. Retrofit the interior to make Vault 98 from Fallout. Get something on-site that’ll allow me to quickly make custom vault suits. Wait patiently while devising ultimately harmless yet hilarious “experiments,” and buy sound files of canned sitcom audience laughter from around the globe. That’s not weird, is it? Reddit user: [redacted]

An Army Of Corgis

I’d quit my job in a blaze of glory, and make sure my husband was able to quit, as well. I’d buy houses in multiple states – and one somewhere in Europe – and tell everyone to just buzz off. We’d have monster TV’s throughout the house for movies and video games, and an army of Australian Shepherds on every property.

Well, okay, maybe we’d have different dogs on each property: Aussies in Australia, German Shepherds in Germany, and Corgis in wherever Corgis are from. Can you imagine that many Corgis in one place? I’d die of happiness – or from inhaling massive amounts of Corgi hair. I hear they shed like it’s going out of style. At least their stubby little legs are cute. Reddit user: love_of_his_life

Offset My Lavish Lifestyle

I’d buy a beautiful rustic-chic house by a mountain with a lake view, along with a smaller “assistant’s” house where my full-time cleaner and cook would live. The cook would make meals at his/her house and drop them off daily. My house would have an indoor/outdoor pool and stocked workout room, along with a library and meditation room with a stunning view.

I’d hire a personal trainer. I’d also rent a private plane for all trips, and pay extra to get rental homes stocked with my favorite food and drinks. Then, I’d live the highlife, just traveling. I’d also invest in combating poverty, climate change and renewable energy research, to offset my ridiculous lifestyle. I’m a scientist now, so I think I’d continue some of that work – just not full time. Reddit user: duramater22

Gamer’s Paradise

I’d hire an architecture firm to design the ultimate geek mansion. It’d look like a medieval castle from the outside and include a cinema, arcade, bowling alley, and pool. It’d also have an epic tabletop gaming room with a giant stone table, an embedded touch screen for each player, and a large monitor in the center for the board.

There’d also be a large PC gaming room with 10 beastly computers, and enough bedrooms to invite friends over all the time. I’d also include enough solar panels to keep lights on and power a console, TV, and kitchen during any power outage. Can’t be without those games – ever. Basically, I’d create my nerdy, gamer’s paradise. It’s my theoretical money, after all. Reddit user: [redacted]

Glittery Uniforms

I’d probably buy my brother’s business outright, and spend a week or two introducing new policies like flamboyant, glittery work uniforms, and the new “corporate way” to speak to customers – like how most big box stores have a standard hello and goodbye that must be said to each customer by the greeter. They’ll have to check all the receipts, too, to make sure they didn’t double-charge anyone.

I’d make sure to have it in the contract that he’d need to continue to work there for a set time to stop him from simply leaving the company (so I couldn’t mess with him) and then, once I’ve had my fun, I’d just hand him the business back and let him fix all the nonsense. Or leave it. At that point, it might just be easier to let it happen. Reddit user: pixelbear

Caviar And Hot Dogs

Well, first of all, I’d put on a top hat and a monocle. Then I’d have all my meals with caviar. Hotdog? Caviar. Oatmeal? Caviar. Pancakes? Yes, caviar, please. Frosted Flakes? Most certainly, please add some caviar. Caviar? You guessed it! More caviar. I just hope caviar tastes as good as I imagine it does. It’d be a total bummer for it to taste like garbage.

Once I’m done with caviar, I’d buy a hotdog cart and sell hotdogs and polish dogs for $1.00 each. The delicious kind, with the warm buns. I’d offer all the condiments you could think of and have bottled water for free. Match every dollar with $1,000, and donate the money. I love hotdog carts. They are so neat. And hotdogs – I love those, too. Reddit user: CircleBoatBBQ