College Admissions Officers Share The Funniest Things They’ve Read On An Application

Remember when you applied to college? You collected a few – a few dozen, in some cases – applications for all your top choices, and then all you had to do was fill them out. You wrote the perfect essays, picked your most impressive recommendation letters, and triple-checked that you’ve got the best-looking versions of your high school transcripts handy.

But, after a while, it just started to get tedious answering the same questions over and over again, and you began to think about getting a little more “creative.” You might have thought, “What if I just used that goofy nickname instead of my first name, or used that email address I made back in sixth grade?” It never hurts to make ‘em laugh, right? Maybe. And, sometimes, maybe not so much. Well, since you probably didn’t act on your creative thoughts, meet the people who did. Here are stories from real college admissions officers who share the funniest things they’ve ever seen on an application…

A Love Letter

I work in graduate school admissions. Our application requires four separate essays. Most people use this as an opportunity to write about different subjects. This one student wrote all four as a long, drawn out love letter to one of our faculty members. The faculty member wasn’t taking new students into the lab, and had never met or talked to the prospective student.

The student had taken all the info for her love letters from his website in addition to providing a list of his publications – also from his website – that she had read. I walked away from reading her application with zero sense of who she was but having learned a lot more about the faculty member. It’s not super common, but it happens more often than you’d think. Reddit user: TheMapesHotel

A Case Of Mistaken Identity

Not an admissions officer, but I can answer this – because of my email address. Some kid in India put my email address on all of his college apps. I’ve gotten copies of some of his applications – everything from his photo, Aadhaar number (an ID number issued by the Indian government), taxes, blood type, address, grades, and his grandparents’ phone numbers. So much information.

Basically how it works is the admissions officer sends me his offer, I forward it to him, he calls the school to change contact info, the school clarifies with me, and he gets to go to college. I’m not really sure why he’s doing this, but he’s super lucky that I’m both a nice person and also actually browse through my spam folder about once a week. Reddit user: amacaroon

She Wanted To Stand Out

Not an admissions officer but, a couple years ago, a girl sent in an application to my university in larger than normal packaging. Someone in the admissions office decided it was suspicious looking and might be unsafe to open. And, by “decided,” I mean completely freaked out and had a full-on panic attack, and started shouting some really offensive things about certain cultures.

A section of campus got shut down and the bomb squad got to use their fancy toys to poke at the package. Turns out it was just a regular application and that the girl attached lights to the forms so her app would stand out. No clue why someone would go through all the trouble, but okay. While the admissions person was probably right to be cautious, she no longer works there because other staff were super uncomfortable working with her after her offensive outburst. Reddit user: Kleoes

The Only Reason I Got The Interview

Not an admissions officer, but I think my story is pretty hilarious. When I applied to medical school, one of the application essays had a prompt that asked us what we would do if we didn’t get into medical school. I wrote that I’d go to law school and become a lawyer who specializes in prosecuting medical malpractice.

I ended up getting an interview, and had a good laugh about it with one of the interviewers. I didn’t get into that medical school. I did get into another one, but I also didn’t use the lawyer bit on that application. To this day, I’m still pretty sure the only reason I got that interview was because of that statement. I guess you could say that I “stood out” from the crowd. Reddit user: [redacted]

Her Boss, The President

I work in law school admissions. We had this one woman apply multiple times, but there was clearly something not right with her. Our essay topic was basically, “Why this law school?” She started the essay with (verbatim), “Who am I? I am Jane Doe! I want to go to law school and marry a lawyer.” She also said that she wanted to go to law school to work for her “boss”, who was supposedly the President of the United States.

She also wrote about how she cured cancer, discovered how to regenerate amputated limbs with stem cells, and reversed gray hair back to its original color. She’d also routinely send handwritten addendums to her application with more of her accomplishments to be added to her file. Her letters of recommendation included a generic form letter response you get when you write a letter to the president (aka, her “boss”).

I was always a little scared she’d actually show up and cause problems. Campus police knew who she was, though, and got copies of all of her letters. I talked to another admissions counselor at a school across the country and she was doing the same thing to their office, too. I guess, at least, it wasn’t just us. Reddit user: rcw16

His House Got Him Accepted

I’m an intern in the admissions office at a decently prestigious private university in California. I overhear the counselors making decisions all the time. They regularly shout stats across the office to get input on whether or not to accept or deny applicants. There was one kid who was right on the edge of what we normally accept – the lower end of the spectrum. My boss shouted out his stats and got mixed responses.

Then she uttered a phrase I’ll never forget: “Guys, I Zillowed his house, it’s in LA and worth $4 million dollars.” So, on that basis, they let him in. That was the determining factor for this kid’s acceptance. I’ll never forget sitting there in horror, listening to them joke about his wealth. This isn’t as much about a funny component of his admission letter, as it is comically sad that this applicant’s address is what got him into school. I have so little respect for college admissions – at least at my school – and the administration, after hearing that. Reddit user: gboy69

Why Not?

For their GPA, one applicant put “9.” One student listed their high school as “IDK” (I don’t know). One student listed their intended major as teaching and their minor in “principle.” I assumed they meant they wanted to be a school principal, but they didn’t get asked for an interview. I shouldn’t be surprised anymore by the things people will put down and just assume it’s acceptable, but I am.

I asked one person how to spell their name and they had to ask their mother how to spell it. Multiple people have actually tried listing their supposed IQ as a reason for admittance. If you get to write your own personal essay, don’t write “Why?” as the title, and then have the entire essay be, “Why not?” Maybe not too ridiculous but they stuck with me. Reddit user: I-Hate-Hats

He Thought He Could Do A Better Job

A guy with a very sketchy work history in property investment applied for a law degree. His application was based on “relevant experience” as he was the subject of multiple – some ongoing –lawsuits. It was mostly a rant about how he thought his lawyers were incompetent, and he could do a much better job.

He included a photo cropped out of a group shot at the bar, used many blocked quotes attributed to himself, including something along the lines of, “I want to break down the barrier between success and spectacular success.” There was another one which included a list of key weaknesses, not key strengths. Key weaknesses included not working well with people. This was for an MBA. Reddit user: IdentifiableBaa

Research Is Ongoing

I’m a professor, not an admissions officer. Still, we’re tasked with admissions for our doctoral program. One year, a student from a small school was applying and mentioned his lack of research experience. This is an approximate quote from memory: “Despite the fact that my school lacks the facilities to support student research, I have spent the last year performing observational research on the effect of certain substances on motivation.”

I wonder who his subject was. I did actually call him in for an interview and it went just about as I expected it to. He’d been his own research subject and the “certain substances” were what you’d assume. I asked how his research had gone and what his results were. He goes, “Well, so far, the research is inconclusive and the study is ongoing.” Great. Denied. Reddit user: perceptionactionprof

He Wanted To Better Himself

Not a college admissions person, but I got into a great university and, about a year into my degree, a guy from my home town messaged me asking if I’d look over his application form. Now, I was over the moon because I was super proud of this guy for wanting to further himself, because I’d been worried he’d fall into the same traps a lot of young men in my town fall into.

When prompted to talk about what led him to seek out university qualifications, he answered something along the lines of, “My mate went and seemed like she had fun, I want to have fun but also get smarter.” Now, I’m not saying I rewrote his application, but if what he gave me was the alphabet, then I gave him back the entire works of Shakespeare. Reddit user: [redacted]

She Had A Goal

Not an admissions officer, but my work-study job was in the nursing department at my college. There were only 40 spaces each year and there are certain minimum requirements that are stricter than other departments. You needed a higher ACT score, and you have to be able to pass the same background checks as a nurse would. Otherwise it would be impossible to complete your clinicals.

It was my job to sort incoming applications into potential students and those who didn’t meet the requirements. I had one applicant list their single digit ACT composite score with the explanation that they were “under the weather” the morning of the test. Another answered the “why do you want to be a nurse” question with how she planned to marry and divorce a few doctors until she became a millionaire. At least she had a goal. Reddit user: Elenakalis

There Were Some Inconsistencies

We do online interviews with overseas applicants. Once there was a girl from China applying for our postgraduate program who looked completely different from the passport photo she’d sent us. We asked her questions like where she studied her bachelor degree, and to talk about her home town. She gave us answers that weren’t consistent with the information on the application form.

We couldn’t confirm, but we believed she was working for some study abroad agency and she recited the personal information of another client. Basically, this company gets paid – usually by wealthy students or their parents – to “handle” the undergrad or grad school application process. Those are popular in Europe and Asia. It’s not technically illegal, but it’s frustrating and can get you blacklisted. Reddit user: lunarspike

We Don’t Even Have A Sports Program

I used to be an undergraduate admissions representative and we’d host field-trip tours all the time for high school students. We have a little guest/prospective student card they fill out after the tour so we can connect them with a relevant advisor. A lot of the information the students would put made me wonder what was going on in their career counseling sessions.

Under the “what is your interested major?” section, the number of kids that put football or basketball was insane. Under “career interests” they’d, of course, put “NBA” or “NFL player.” The number of kids we’d get only interested in talking about football and basketball – thinking it was an actual degree – was really sad. My school didn’t even have a sports program.

These weren’t little kids with big dreams, either. These were 16 to 18 year olds who’ve already hit their athletic peaks, or who were never very athletic in the first place. They were convinced they could major in sports and just go play professionally. Reddit user: grizzfan

That’s A Bold Claim

I worked in admissions at a small Christian school. We had a file running in the office filled with copies of our favorite essays – all personal info appropriately redacted, of course. One of my favorite ones was from an older guy who listed, among his many accomplishments, being a CIA agent in the 80’s who was heavily involved in bringing down the Soviet Union… oh, and inventing some supposedly well-known spy gadget.

The CIA claim is a bold, but clever, move – how would we ever actually disprove that? The invention thing was just hilarious. I’m not sure if he was unfamiliar with Google, or if he thought we’d be so wowed by his essay that we wouldn’t do any fact checking, but it took me a solid 30 seconds to confirm that the gadget had been copyrighted in the late 50s by someone with a very different name. He tried. Reddit user: deltaexdeltatee

We Have An Average To Maintain

When I was in high school, I had a 3.2 GPA. Not too shabby, but also not ideal for the schools I wanted to go to. My plan was to apply to Harvard with the logic, “Your average incoming GPA is 3.9. If you accept me, you can accept 10 more people who have a 4.0 and still maintain that average. Wouldn’t that be great to have more 4.0 students?”

Thankfully, my parents wouldn’t let me send the application in. But, looking back, it might have provided a nice laugh for the admissions department. Though, I guess, in the end, I’d probably have just been really disappointed when they never got back to me. Good looking out, mom. Besides, Harvard was way too expensive for me to have afforded. Reddit user: MattProducer

Technologically Advanced Toilets

When applying to colleges a few months ago, I submitted this short answer to my state school when given the question of where I’d go if there were no limits: “If I could travel anywhere, I’d go to Tokyo, Japan to experience living in a major city immersed in a drastically different culture, and to experience their highly advanced electronic toilets.”

I got into their honors program with a full ride. I was 100% serious, too. I’d love to go to Japan if only to check out their tech toilets. Also, I love ramen and I’d like to try the real thing. Maybe that’ll be my graduation present to myself. I mean, I got a full ride, after all. I’ll be one of the lucky few who isn’t buried under mountains of debt. Reddit user: WorldsSoCool

He Cried

I had a friend filling out an application a few months ago, and whenever he came to some multiple choice question – what level of education did your father receive, etc. – he’d roll a pair of dice to see what he got, and then choose whatever number he rolled. I guess we’ll see how that works out for him. He seemed pretty pleased with himself, though.

I know another person who had a low GPA and is planning to take a gap year, but the school still required him to fill at least two college applications to graduate. Both of which he had to pay for. His essays were about his first memory, where he cried because his parents said he was “too young” to go on some ride at a state fair. It was three sentences long and one of the sentences was “I cried.” Reddit user: Vaarka

He Had Certain Qualifications

Not college, but I have to tell this story; it was told to me by a superior officer who was vetting candidates for the Navy SEALs training program. They’d received an application from someone who’d gone out and done a lot of training in various things they clearly thought made them an ideal SEAL candidate. They had certifications in scuba diving and skydiving, among other things.

The return address was the New York State Penitentiary. Out of curiosity, they looked him up. Apparently, the guy had become bored, constructed some sort of rocket in his garage, and had actually gone out and “tested” it. That was all the papers said, and my SO wasn’t about to waste time with more digging. The guy was denied. Reddit user: Bayho

Always Do Your Research

Not me, but I had a friend who was a student administrative worker in the USC (University of Southern California) admissions office and heard this story from one of the other admissions officers. Someone had applied and heavily name dropped multiple Hollywood directors in their application. For those who aren’t in the states, USC has an amazing film program with several big name Hollywood grads.

A few people who were name-dropped were friendly enough with the board that the admissions officer could actually reach out and ask them if they even knew the applicant. None of them had heard of the guy before. I just thought it was funny that the applicant thought he could get away with pretending to know all these famous directors – many of whom had actually gone to USC. Clearly he didn’t do his research. Reddit user: IggyBall

Selected At Random

I’m not an admissions professional but, as a college faculty member, I’ve heard some tales. Two stories come to mind: first, the college notified a student that a component of the application was missing – she forwarded her response, filled with expletives, to her mother who apparently had forgotten to ask that they be sent. Except she hit “Reply”, not “Forward”. Admission denied, on the grounds that she shouldn’t talk like that to her mother.

Another student from Asia, who was attending a school in the Southern US, wanted to transfer to a school in New England. His application said that he’d picked a US school at random to avoid persecution in his home country for his lifestyle choices, only to discover that the American South wasn’t much more accepting of him. The basic message was “please help.” Also he was a math genius – admission granted. Reddit user: mymymy99

Connections Are Worth More Than Gold

I was friends with an admissions officer back in my senior year of college. She told me that once she saw an application that was nothing but a mediocre high school transcript and, for his essay, the title was “My Grandfather Paid for the Construction of a Dorm and the Box Seat Section of Your Stadium is Named After Him.” The body of the essay was just “see title.”

She was flabbergasted by the arrogance and put it in the “instant rejection” pile before telling her boss about it. He made the appropriate sympathetic noises and agreed it was the worst application they’d ever seen. A couple of years later, though, she recognized that student’s name as being registered in one of her remedial study skills classes.

She found out her boss had almost immediately pulled that application out of the reject pile and sent him an acceptance letter. They say connections are more valuable than gold, and that might just be true. But connections plus gold is more valuable than anything. Reddit user: Farmer771122

Just A Road Sign

I work in the IT department of a pretty prestigious business school. Basically that means that we can usually expect that everyone will try their hardest to get into a program. I once heard that an applicant had attached a picture of a street sign in Australia as proof of his “experience abroad.” He wasn’t even included in the picture; it was literally just a picture of a road sign.

I was also told that he’d submitted an essay on why the dust in Australia is red. I want to say that it was pretty well written, but the rest of the application was just so absurd that there was no way they could let him in. Hopefully he managed to figure out his mistakes. I wonder if he ever got to actually go to Australia… Reddit user: PulpyJuice

The Chalupa Chucker

I worked in admissions for a couple of summers and really only remember this one story. A student had been suspended for several weeks and wrote this letter to admissions to explain why and how he’d reformed, etc. It went a little something like this: “It was the week of our biggest basketball game against our main rival, everyone in town was going to the game that night…

“Beforehand, several friends and I were hungry so we dropped by Taco Bell and picked up some food. I ordered several chalupas. We got to the game and I brought our food in. However, I became so engrossed in the game that I didn’t eat all of my food. This became an issue when right before halftime our star player was fouled horrifically.

“Everyone in the stands was outraged and, in the heat of the moment, I reached down for my remaining chalupa and hurled it onto the court at the guilty player on the other team.” He goes on to say how sorry he was, that he’d changed his ways, and also, “It was a chalupa; how much damage could it actually do?” (Fair.)

But the best part is how he ended it: “I regret my actions and hated being suspended, but the worst consequence of all was being known as the ‘Chalupa Chucker’ for my remaining years at school.” Classic. I’ll never forget it. He was readmitted. Reddit user: Algebraic_Eagle

Solidarity

The most bizarre one I ever read as an admissions officer was for an MBA program at one of the top two UK universities. An Asian applicant started their personal statement quite normally and then diverted into talking about how they had difficulty with potty training as a child. They also included that their sister, who was very sympathetic, also pretended to have a hard time with it in “solidarity.”

It read like a confessional/psychological piece. Definitely the most bizarre statement I ever read while working there. Needless to say, he wasn’t offered a place. Another quick story that’s not admissions related: we had one MBA student enjoy his year so much that he composed, performed, and recorded a classical song on how much he loved it. It included lyrics on how good the admin staff were, how he loved the city, and his favorite classmates. It might still be on YouTube. Reddit user: OknotKo

I Stand By That Answer

So, this is my story: I went to tour a college as a senior in high school specifically for the engineering program. While there, they had us fill out a general scholarship application, because why not? A woman who was looking through them pulled me aside to schedule an interview for the school’s full-ride scholarship, and I came back a week or two later for the interview.

They asked the standard boilerplate questions. “What did you do in high school?” “Why do you want to go to school here?” Etc., etc. They followed all of this up with the, “Who do you look up to/who is your hero?” type of question. I think they were looking for some humanitarian type answer like Gandhi or MLK or something.

I said Will Ferrell. When questioned why, I kind of just stumbled over saying that I thought he was funny. Needless to say, I didn’t get the scholarship. 18-year-old me still stands by my answer though, because Step Brothers is a masterpiece of a movie. Reddit user: opeymopey

Our Kind Of Guy

My boyfriend’s friend wrote his college app essay about how he was once in the pantry and saw hot chocolate mix and Kool-Aid mix. He wondered, “Why can you mix hot cocoa mix with either milk or water, but Kool-Aid can only be mixed with water?” So, he mixed Kool-Aid mix with milk and tried it. Then wrote a whole thing about why it was a terrible idea.

He said the story proved he’d be a good engineer because he thinks out of the box. He slowly got rejected from every school and had resigned himself to community college. I felt so bad for him. He really thought he had something there. But, when the very last letter came in… It turned out he’s just the kind of person MIT wants at their school. Reddit user: _annie_bird

They Had To Sneak Out The Back

Not an admissions officer but not sure what the heck the admissions officer was thinking when reviewing my app to OSU (Ohio State University). I had the grades and I was in-state so I had a leg up there. Anyway, for one essay, I was asked to talk about the greatest invention of the 20th century. I could have picked anything. Assembly line manufacturing, EKG machines, blood typing, etc. I picked the toaster oven.

The second essay was about what time period I’d travel to and why. I picked Andrew Jackson’s inauguration party because it was a wild ride. They had to sneak him out the back door. He was later described as a drunk, belligerent, ignorant fool who ought to have kept his mouth shut. He was found the next morning by his aides, covered in mud and with a black eye, I think. I got in. Reddit user: K1gC

Other People Were Doing It

Not straight up admissions, but I work at a college and we do the re-admission process for students who apply after being removed from the college for various reasons. Not students who took a semester or a year off – the ones who’ve been expelled or suspended. There’s one that stands out:  after a warning, a student was kicked out for flipping his Prius on school property. On purpose.

He sent in an essay appealing the judgment call made by the university – his record stated that he’d been given a permanent ban for ‘rioting’. His essay stated how he wanted to come back because he was just “having fun” that night, and other people were doing it as well, so we were being very unjust to him.

He also said he felt betrayed by our university because he still had so much partying left to do, and to deny the other students his presence was wrong of us. He didn’t get invited back. Neither his essay or his 1.36 GPA was enough to convince us that we’d done anyone a disservice. Reddit user: milkandcookies

He’d Really Ticked Her Off

Not on an application or in an essay, but a letter of recommendation from a teacher. The letter of rec said, and I quote: “To whom it may concern… Sincerely, [teachers name].” The teacher was from my high school. I know her personally, and found out she did that intentionally. I thought it was hilarious. She had a reputation as a very no-nonsense person.

The student who asked for a letter of recommendation from her had really ticked her off. She didn’t ever tell me what it was he’d done, but it had to have been something “special” to make her do that. The absolute funniest thing about it is that he clearly never looked at the letter. He just sent it on in, assuming she’d written some glowing review about him. No so, friend. Reddit user: livvyberry

He Turned Into A Sandwich

I have so many memorable stories, but a good one from this past year was this kid who wrote his essay about becoming a tuna fish sandwich. It started with him waking up in bed to discover he was a tuna fish sandwich, thus making him unable to move. It read like what I’ve always imagined the script for Cool World to be like. Now, that’s a wild movie…

He talked about how his mom walked into the room, freaked out because she couldn’t find him, and instead found a tuna fish sandwich with his name “toasted” onto the bun. I kept waiting for some profound revelation at the end, or a moral to the story, but nope. That was it. Such a bizarre essay. We reluctantly admitted him, because his GPA and test scores checked out. Reddit user: zzzzzzzzzz7

They’re Applying To The Wrong Program

I’m not in admissions, I’m a professor, but we have to read essays for a new program we’re starting this year. Probably 10% of the applications are people attempting to apply to grad school, but who’d applied to be an undergrad by accident. Their essays clearly stated why they wanted to get into the Master’s program, which faculty they wanted to work with, their publications lists, that sort of thing.

We originally thought this was the fault of our admissions people. They had to be just throwing all the applications for our department into one folder, not bothering to separate them out. Or maybe they’d sorted them alphabetically, and had been too lazy to dig through, find the grad school applications, and pull them back out. Nope. It was just a rash of very confused grad students. Reddit user: sir_sri

A Gold Star

When I was a student I worked in admissions as a work-study thing. Technically I wasn’t supposed to see any essays from the applicants. But, the office had one laminated and framed. We called it a “gold star”. A prison inmate had written his application essay on a lined, 5×8 sheet of paper and mailed it to the admissions department.

In it were details on how he was going to win us the NCAA championship in basketball, and all we needed to do was accept him with a full ride. All of this was in sloppy handwriting with misspellings and grammar errors laced across it. The really funny thing was that it read like a letter you’d send to a potential business investor. The head of admissions put a gold star sticker on it and it lives with them forever. Reddit user: urgaan

This Isn’t A Movie

Sending your materials printed on light pink paper in a hot pink folder is an automatic “no”. You’re not Elle Woods, and this isn’t a movie. It’s not 2001, and the admissions committee doesn’t see any of that. Most of your stuff is getting uploaded online by you – if it’s an option, please use it. I’ve seen this an embarrassing number of times.

Don’t waste your time and money trying to make your forms stand out. The only person that sees them doesn’t care. Also, whoever gave you advice to put your photo in your application essay was incorrect. It’s almost never necessary. Your heavily filtered photo belongs on Instagram or Facebook. Not your college application. You might look cute, but I promise you it has no bearing on admittance. Reddit user: bottleofawkward

Less Is More

We had an applicant who claimed to remodel train stations on his lunch break, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I don’t know why that matters for train stations, but I also know nothing about that. He also admitted to being an outlaw in Peru. Like…what? Why would you tell us that? Pro tip: if we don’t need to know, don’t tell us.

He must have had some serious connections, too, because he got in. The whole thing was totally bizarre. Honestly, the most confusing thing was that, if he had the engineering skills he claimed, why did he need college? He wasn’t even applying to the engineering department – just a general business degree. The moral of the story is that less is more. Reddit user: KINGCOCO

The Wall Of “What?”

I processed applications for a grad school admissions office when I first started working at my university. Up until a few years ago, a lot of paper application materials were still being mailed in and it was part of my job to open and sort them. Let me tell you, I opened some real doozies. Stuff you just can’t make up.

A mathematics Ph.D. applicant’s essay literally said, “I LIKE MATH.” All caps and in red crayon. I think he figured his 4.0 GPA and awesome GRE quantitative score was all he needed. He didn’t get in. Once, an international applicant sent in a photo of them conducting a military band in a chicken suit. I have no clue why. It went up on the “Wall of ‘What?’” in our office. Reddit user: gambitgirl

Better Than Harvard

I worked in grad program admissions at a good, accredited public university for two years. The accredited part is important. The most ridiculous thing I continually saw on people’s applications were their Bachelor’s degrees from unaccredited universities. Things like “BTH University” (Better Than Harvard). Okay, I made that up, but the real names aren’t much better. You know the ones I’m talking about.

I always felt so bad for them because they were completely taken advantage of, and have a worthless degree. Because their degree was from an unaccredited college or university, they aren’t even considered for grad school. They probably have tons of student loan debt, too. I remember getting an essay once that was actually about why his fake degree should be considered valid. Reddit user: [redacted]

Optimus Prime

While I was in college I worked part-time for one of the other departments at my university. Part of my job was helping sort and file applications to the graduate and undergraduate programs. There was this application that we kept for a year or two just to look at every now and then. It was a 50-ish page, professionally bound compilation of poetry and short stories.

There were even pictures of the applicant’s family and friends, lyrics to songs he wrote, and a short autobiography going back to early childhood. That might be appropriate for some programs, but it was utterly useless to the engineering department. The cover of it was this majestically horrible photoshopped picture of Optimus Prime on a picture of the solar system. There was even a story about how he related to Optimus in his application essay. Reddit user: sabres588

Dear Sir

I worked in the international admissions office and had to handle all applications for a specific Master’s program. It wasn’t the content of this one application that was ridiculous, but the cover letter and communication style. A little bit of relevant detail: me and all of my colleagues in the admissions department are female. Not a single guy in the whole department.

This one applicant addressed each and every email or letter with “Dear Sir” or “Hello Sir”. This continued even after I pointed out several times that I am female and would appreciate being addressed as one. Nope. He continued calling me sir. Even on phone calls where it was very, very clear that I am, in fact, not a man. Reddit user: huskegirl-86

Just Ignore It

Not an admissions officer, but I work with applicant and admissions data at my job. A surprising number of kids have decided that they don’t like people being able to specify their gender identity. Which is fair, but some are clearly using it as an excuse to be “cute.” They’ll “meme” it up in the free-form gender field by putting some nonsense like “Apache Attack Helicopter.”

I understand that a lot of people don’t understand gender identity and just aren’t educated on why plenty of people want to differentiate, but your college application doesn’t seem like the best place to express that opinion. My wife’s advice is, “If it doesn’t apply to you, just ignore it. You’re coming off as a total jerk.” Also, I’ve heard a surprising number of stories about kids whose parents fill out their applications for them from my friends in the admissions office. Lots of parents apparently mix up twins’ SSNs. Kinda scary. Reddit user: andjuan